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 Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 7:27 am
I had the same group of friends since middle school. My girlfriend is also a member of the same group of friends before we started dating.
-'Friend' named Arian mocked Eevee's {gf} pain. This lead to me and Arian defriending each other.
-This caused me and another 'friend' Dani to not be friends anymore. When she and I defriended each other, Dani also defriended Eevee for no reason. When Eevee asked her about it, she blamed her iphone.
-After a few weeks of being ignored, Eevee was finally asked to go someplace with them.
-Since my junior/senior year of high school, Eevee and I have gone to this haunted house each October. We've never gone there without each other; and this was years before we started dating. Since then we would invite more friends to go with us.
-She's afraid that she'll lose friends if she doesn't invite at least Dani. I told her I can't be around Dani. One of the choices was she'll just go twice this year. Once with me and once with them.
I know this is extremely selfish of me; but I really don't want her to go with them if I'm not there. It would be the first time of it happening, and even though it grew into a group thing, it started with just the two of us. I don't care if Dani and Arian go to the haunted house; I just don't want Eevee to go without me.
I just feel bad because I don't want to make her choose or make her feel like she has to choose. But after everything that Arian said about Eevee {that she does know about} and then they defriended her for no reason except for the fact that we're dating. I just feel like they can do whatever they want and they don't pay any consequences.
I will fully admit that I'm being childish {but in my defense, these 'friendships' haven't even been over with for a month}. Would anyone else feel like me? I'm not used to this. I always feel like if a person has a problem, then the person should take themselves out, not make anyone choose. It was how I was raised.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 11:33 am
Digital Fiend I had the same group of friends since middle school. My girlfriend is also a member of the same group of friends before we started dating.
-'Friend' named Arian mocked Eevee's {gf} pain. This lead to me and Arian defriending each other.
-This caused me and another 'friend' Dani to not be friends anymore. When she and I defriended each other, Dani also defriended Eevee for no reason. When Eevee asked her about it, she blamed her iphone.
-After a few weeks of being ignored, Eevee was finally asked to go someplace with them.
-Since my junior/senior year of high school, Eevee and I have gone to this haunted house each October. We've never gone there without each other; and this was years before we started dating. Since then we would invite more friends to go with us.
-She's afraid that she'll lose friends if she doesn't invite at least Dani. I told her I can't be around Dani. One of the choices was she'll just go twice this year. Once with me and once with them.
I know this is extremely selfish of me; but I really don't want her to go with them if I'm not there. It would be the first time of it happening, and even though it grew into a group thing, it started with just the two of us. I don't care if Dani and Arian go to the haunted house; I just don't want Eevee to go without me.
I just feel bad because I don't want to make her choose or make her feel like she has to choose. But after everything that Arian said about Eevee {that she does know about} and then they defriended her for no reason except for the fact that we're dating. I just feel like they can do whatever they want and they don't pay any consequences.
I will fully admit that I'm being childish {but in my defense, these 'friendships' haven't even been over with for a month}. Would anyone else feel like me? I'm not used to this. I always feel like if a person has a problem, then the person should take themselves out, not make anyone choose. It was how I was raised. What irritates me here is that Eevee seems to not be getting that she's in a relationship with you. There's being faithful, and then there's being loyal; I think she's being disloyal to you here. It's also pretty obvious to me A&D are trying to make Eevee break up with you guys, for whatever stupid, selfish or "socially-acceptable" reasons, which don't really matter. If people are willing to have Arian, Dani, or whomever else dictate to them who they can or cannot be friends with, fine, let them be sheep. Eevee should know better, though. She's going to have to make a decision sooner or later, because I don't think James will condone your feelings getting hurt just because Eevee wants to socialize, any more than you do.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 3:25 pm
Gigi Deveraux What irritates me here is that Eevee seems to not be getting that she's in a relationship with you. There's being faithful, and then there's being loyal; I think she's being disloyal to you here. It's also pretty obvious to me A&D are trying to make Eevee break up with you guys, for whatever stupid, selfish or "socially-acceptable" reasons, which don't really matter. If people are willing to have Arian, Dani, or whomever else dictate to them who they can or cannot be friends with, fine, let them be sheep. Eevee should know better, though. She's going to have to make a decision sooner or later, because I don't think James will condone your feelings getting hurt just because Eevee wants to socialize, any more than you do.
No one takes into account how much it hurts to know your friends are saying nasty things to you and about you when they think you're not watching. I am trying so ******** hard to please everyone. And it's just not good enough.
There are times when Digi's said or done things that have hurt me. And I forgave her because I love her. I chose to forgive my friends (Arian in particular} for the hurtful things she said to and about me. I don't know if I should have.
This whole thing has just been a shitfest for myself and Digi. But you know what? Let's talk more s**t about me, because clearly you know all about me and my feelings.
For the record, I chose Digi over my own mother. My mom treated me like absolute s**t for a long time because I refused to end things with her and James. You think I wouldn't give up friends if she asked me to? Sorry, I wasn't aware I had to choose. She has never once said to me "It's them or me." And she is the one that suggested the going two seperate times. But you knew that, right?
I would do anything for Digi. Including giving up people I love. I have the utmost respect for what she did, defending me. She was the only one who saw that something wasn't right and actually said something about it. You have no idea how much that means to me. She's the only person I know that would stand up for me.
I'm just sick of getting s**t talked by both my friends and anonymous internet people. I'm not a coward. I'm not a bad person. I'm not disloyal. I'm just someone stuck in an awful situation who doesn't know how to deal with it.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 3:46 pm
You did notice the use of the word seems? As in appearances? As you just said, I only had one side of it. Frankly, I'd have loved to know what was going on from your viewpoint too, but since I've never interacted with you before this, what the hell else am I supposed to work with? Hell, I didn't even know you were on Gaia. Nice meeting you, by the way. I'm sorry If what I said hurt you, I apologize; this is what happens with incomplete information. I'm even more apologetic (AND sorry) if Digi is catching flak from you because of this, because she sure doesn't deserve all this drama she's being subjected to by those people. Especially not now.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 3:50 pm
Gigi Deveraux You did notice the use of the word seems? As in appearances? As you just said, I only had one side of it. Frankly, I'd have loved to know what was going on from your viewpoint too, but since I've never interacted with you before this, what the hell else am I supposed to work with? Hell, I didn't even know you were on Gaia. Nice meeting you, by the way. I'm sorry If what I said hurt you, I apologize; this is what happens with incomplete information. I'm even more apologetic (AND sorry) if Digi is catching flak from you because of this, because she sure doesn't deserve all this drama she's being subjected to by those people. Especially not now.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 3:54 pm
Diabolical Eevee Why the hell would you assume Digi is catching any flack from me? I don't recall ever harrassing, arguing, or pressuring her into anything. and I have no idea what would make you think I was. One: Over this discussion. Two: I meant offline. Three: IF she is/was. I had no way of knowing one way or the other, so I posted that for you and her to know it wasn't my intention. *sigh* It seems today is not my day for getting anything across clearly. I'm going back to my journal thread now.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 3:59 pm
Gigi Deveraux Diabolical Eevee Why the hell would you assume Digi is catching any flack from me? I don't recall ever harrassing, arguing, or pressuring her into anything. and I have no idea what would make you think I was. One: Over this discussion. Two: I meant offline. Three: IF she is/was. I had no way of knowing one way or the other, so I posted that for you and her to know it wasn't my intention. *sigh* It seems today is not my day for getting anything across clearly. I'm going back to my journal thread now.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:02 pm
Diabolical Eevee Oh, no, I meant offline. I have tried to be as peaceful and loving to her as possible. I love her very much and want this to be the happiest time of her life. Me too... and I envy that you guys can be out in the open about it as much as you can.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:04 pm
Gigi Deveraux Me too... and I envy that you guys can be out in the open about it as much as you can.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:05 pm
Diabolical Eevee Gigi Deveraux Me too... and I envy that you guys can be out in the open about it as much as you can. Both, really.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:09 pm
Gigi Deveraux Diabolical Eevee Gigi Deveraux Me too... and I envy that you guys can be out in the open about it as much as you can. Both, really.
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