Pretty Bad Family Issues.

[IbukiHoshi]

So...recently, some pretty bad family issues have come up for me.

I've been living at home with my grandparents, but they both recently got put in the hospital.
My grandmother got released from the hospital a few days ago, but my grandfather got put into a nursing home due to his mental state.
Now at home, it's just my brother, my grandmother and I.
My brother can't get a job(for personal reasons)and my grandmother can hardly walk.
My aunt that lives next door calls herself "helping", when all that she's REALLY doing is stealing things out of the house and selling them to fuel her drug problem that the family knows that she has.
I've been job hunting as best to my abilities with not being able to drive and my town being too small to really need a bus system.
I clean most of the house on a daily basis while taking care of 3 dogs.
I admit that, because of everything happening, I haven't been eating as much which doesn't help with my low blood iron..

I'm 19.
It's hard to handle all of this on my own..
I don't really have anyone helping me.
On top of all of this, I'm STILL trying to process that a High School friend of mine died what is now a little over a month ago.
Along with that, my OTHER brother got put into jail just yesterday.
I can't handle this on my own for much longer..

I've been thinking of moving in with a friend so that I can start my life.
But I'm sure that it would make ME seem like the insensitive one in the family.
That and I wouldn't feel right about leaving my grandmother home with my brother(who sits around playing on his PS3 because he can't work) and my thieving aunt.
I don't know if I should do what's best for me or do what's best for my grandmother.
She's doesn't really treat me like anything..

Can someone please tell me what I should do..?

 

[jesusgirl115]

Aww Honey I'm sorry : (
I don't think moving out is all that bad of an idea.
Could you possibly move your grandmother into a nursing home? I mean if she is having that much difficulty getting around the house, it sounds like she could be somewhere were someone can give her 24/7 help/attention.
Which you can't/don't-want-to-do-all-the-time, I mean your 19! You have life ahead of you to live.

 

[Curious Cathryn]

im so sorry to hear all of that...i wish you the best...
i would say that you should definitely move in with a friend so you wouldnt have to deal with all of that stress alone...I dont think it is insensitive after all you do for you family. You could still help out with them every other day or so to visit and help out with your grandmother? i dont know all of that just sounds like a horrible environment for someone so young to be in. have you ever asked your grandmother about a nursing home?  

[IbukiHoshi]

I've thought about taking her to a nursing home, but I never confronted her about it.
I, personally, think that she should go.
But I have a greedy family.
Once she's gone, everyone will be in this house taking what they can get.
My brother that's in jail stole MOST of my grandfathers guns.
They also have some really old antiques that I'm sure would sell for enough.
So as much as I want to not be under the stress and as much as I want her to have the proper attention that she needs, I don't want to leave the house to be ravaged, stripped of what it has then left to die..
As old and ragged as this house is, I've never moved and this place has always been my home...and not just the items inside.
I'm the only one trying to help and NOT asking for something out of it.

I know I'm young and I should be doing things for my benefit, but there are so many people in my family that I can't trust to be in this house that I don't know if I want to leave just yet..

So you see, there's more than one reason as to why I'm not sure if I should go ahead and move out or not.

 

[Lady Kira X]

You aren't selfish for wanting to get your life started.. & your family shouldn't ever see you as that either. Especially considering all of their behavior.


I wish you luck with whatever you do.. but know this, don't wait too much longer. It gets harder as time goes on.  

[L4uren]

I think you would be best off moving out.
& you should probably ask your grandmother to consider living in a nursing home... as for her valuables, that you say everyone will take, maybe you should go ahead and remove the important, sentimental, and valuable things that you don't want your family taking and just keep track of them yourself? That way you know they're not being sold off or something. obviously you can't do that for everything she owns, but it's just a thought.

whatever you do, I wish you luck.  

[IbukiHoshi]

I...just got the surprise yesterday..
My grandfather is back...though he shouldn't be.
He use to be in the army years ago, but he was saying that he got back about 3 days ago.
I'm really worried.
But I KNOW I need to move out before things get too much worse.
I know I should take care of them...
But..
After all of the job hunting that I've been doing, I can't do ALL of the house chores for this huge house and keep up a job..
Especially if I'm full-time.
It does seem that my only option is moving out and taking care of myself, which taking care of myself isn't something that I do often..

 

[Elinoire]

I am really sorry this is all happening to you. I recently made the 'selfish' choice to move out of a sorta similar situation. Honestly, I think you should do the same. It may force certain people to step up and help, as well.