A "Dear Customer" thread...

[Celestial Fireflies]

cєℓєsтιαℓ ғιʀєғℓιєs:

Dear Customer,

I don't mind if you look inside our boxes. See, I'm a consumer in my spare time, just like you. I want you to get your money's worth, because getting home and finding out something's missing or isn't what you wanted just plain sucks. But when you look inside of our boxes... CLEAN IT UP WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

There's nothing like walking down one of the aisles and finding one of the aquarium sets COMPLETELY disassembled. Nothing missing, it's just someone who absolutely couldn't bother themselves to clean up after themselves. I mean, you've got to be kidding me. You really couldn't bother to put the things back in the tank, the lid on the tank, and the tank back in the box??

Next time, either clean it up, or don't take it apart in the first place.

Sincerely,
A worker  

[Celestial Fireflies]

cєℓєsтιαℓ ғιʀєғℓιєs:

Dear Customer,

Please ask me if you can use my trash can. I promise I won't say no. Do you know why? Because finding your rotting food hidden behind a bunch of things on a shelf is ******** gross. Would you like it if I came into your place of employment and hid my food in your drawers? I doubt it.

Thanks,
A worker  

[Lynettifoo]

Dear customer,

Of course I'll wait for a fresh batch of popcorn just for you. The rest of the popcorn in the popper is obviously stale and rotten already, especially since I made that batch a daunting 10 minutes ago!

Thanks,
Ex-theatre grunt

 

[Call me Rainleaf]

Dear Customer,

Did you really have to e-mail a complaint when I asked you to go get your papers, like I do with everyone else? And on top of it, act like a complete jerk when I was confused about your bill. I almost got in trouble because you're a huge jerk. If the worst thing that happened during your day is me getting confused and you having to physically walk to get your papers, your life is pretty easy.  

[pay me in tea]

Dear Customer,

No, I don't know if your computer can run Sims 3; that's what the specs you can find in your machine, and the specs on the game cover will tell you.

Please stop calling and asking.

☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆

Dear Customer,

I'm sorry, but I can't give your computer back to you. It's not that I dislike you, or want to ruin your day/work week, but I can't give it to you. Why? There's currently no one in the office, and I haven't been informed about any pick-ups.

Just unlock the office and give it to you? I don't even know if it's done yet, and I don't have keys.

I'm sorry you're going a couple more days without a PC because the tech is at a funeral, but that is no reason to verbally abuse me at my front door.

☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆

Dear Customer,

When Internet Explorer tells you that you have a virus... DON'T CLICK ON IT!  

[Kitalpha Hart]

just a few things from working at the local park this year

Dear guest,

Photo booths are not part of the 'main store' discounts, and you only get 10%, at that. Please learn to read the NOT-SO-FINE print. Don't yell at me because no one gets a discount in the photo booth.

sincerely,
photo booth park worker

---

Dear guest,

Moose on the Loose Photo is closed because one of the computers crashed. I have been informed by the supervisor who works on the ride part that you are complaining to her. RIDES AND RETAIL ARE NOT TOGETHER.

sincerely,
photo booth worker who worked at Moose

---

Dear guest,

Yes, the Ride of Steel is closed for weather. It is 31 degrees Fahrenheit out there. Do you not realize that steel contracts, and the rides are made of metal? Once the metal contracts so much, it becomes too small, and therefore unsafe to ride and operate.

sincerely,
why the hell are you even here anyway?!