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 Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:06 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:15 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:06 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:29 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:32 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:41 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:38 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:23 am
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Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 5:44 pm
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I'm feeling really unappreciated right now.
I feel like everything I do, I bust my a** at, and it's still not worthy of being noted. It's just not good enough period.
I work so hard at my job. And I hate it so much. But I do it because I have bills I have to pay and people who depend on me. I work so hard sometimes I don't even have time to pee. Sometimes I skip lunch to get more done. I oftebn get migraines when I come home.
Yesterday we were down a person (someone called in sick) and it was a nightmare. Mondays are super busy, and with only two of us doing all the work, it was impossible to get everything done. But we survived somehow. Today the regional manager came in and had seperate meetings with everyone. And basically it was all about what we're all doing wrong. To sum it all up, they said me and Tonya aren't fast enough and don't pull our weight. And I'm just...dumbfounded.
We're not as fast as their other offices because 1. We're working with a brand new computer system and not all patients are registered in it. Registration takes a lot more time than it takes to check someone in who is registered. Especially when you have more than one patient to check in at once. 2. We don't have as many people on staff as the other offices and they've acknowledged that we need to hire another person. And while we're checking numerous people in and out, we're expected to answer the phone in less than three rings and take messages for the doctors. The workload is overwhelming. I'm so stressed out I've been getting sick in the bathroom. But they told us since we're "new hires" and this is our probationary period, we need to pick up the pace in the next 30 days or else. Which essentially means termination.
And as hard as I work, people either focus on what they perceive as negative in my life or totally ignore how hard I work all together. How depleted I am because I'm trying to provide. I don't mind doing it at all. In fact, it makes me feel good. My girl is actually really good about telling me that I'm loved and that she appreciates me, and I feel like I don't do enough for her. She's really wonderful and when I get the chance, I'm going to treat her to some things I know she's been wanting.
At the end of the day, I'd just really love some acknowledgement of the sacrifices I make and have made. You have no idea how much a little affection from my family and loved ones would improve my attitude. Right now I just feel like I'm crumbling under the pressure.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:34 pm
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So I haven't updated in over a month.
I lost my job. Me and my friend Tonya were both given the boot. I was really pissed off. Poor Tonya had a panic attack and cried. So my life ever since has been applying for jobs and unemployment. This is the first time I've been jobless since 2009, and it sucks.
As a result, I lost my health insurance and therefore can't afford to see my doctor or get my prescriptions. I've been thinking some ******** up things. My mind is so twisted when I'm off my meds. And no, I don't want to hurt anyone else. It's just the way I think, the way I read things is different, and it all feels like the world is ending. Today has actually been one of few days I've been okay.
So far, I've noticed one-on-one time with Digi and James is a good thing for me. Date time is wonderful. Last week I had an awesome date with Digi that cheered me up, and today I had a date with James. He gave me a pep talk about life. Kind of weird getting one of those from someone 4 years my junior, but he's seen a lot. And last night we all played Castle Crashers and it was really, really nice to be enjoying something, the three (well, 4!) of us.
My relationship with my parents is incredibly strained. I'm not looking forward to the holidays. I can't stand to be around them much of the time because I feel so alienated.
I've been happier when I'm around friends too, and I feel like I need to make more of an effort to try to spend time with them.
I'm looking into possibly investing in a new hobby, but it depends on how finding a job/receiving unemployment goes. Right now I need all the help I can get. Every day is a struggle.
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The_9th_Doctors_Rose Crew
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 8:56 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 5:42 am
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