Why did I even bother?

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

My dad left when I was a year old... every now and again I go on an internet search to try to find him... I think I found him this time but I still have no idea how to get in touch with him... I am spiraling into an unnecessary depression. I just need to get over it. He left me 24 years ago... my grandparents live in the same house they always have and he never bothered to even come to town to try to find me... I'm not difficult to find... I just don't know why I care so much... he didn't care enough to stick around and keep in touch... so why care?

*sigh* At this point I feel like I want to pull all my hair out... I found a picture of him and compared it to the only picture I have of him... I think its him and my best friend says we look alike... but still... doesn't do me much good without a way to contact him...

BLAH  

[Lady Kira X]

Holy s**t.

It's like we've shared part of our lives.
I went through the same thing.. grew up hating my father because he abandoned me. Gave up his rights for me. Yet I always was trying to find him. My only problem was I didn't know his full name or what he even looked like.

I was filled with so much hate & wanting to prove to him that I grew up better off without him.

Then one day I got a message from him on facebook saying he's been trying to find me & what not. I cried my eyes out because I thought he didn't care. We eventually meet up.. I also got to meet my half brother for the first time & my grand parents. It was great & was really happy.

A s**t storm of stuff happened that involved me moving in with him for two weeks & then moving out. I haven't seen him in person since that night.

I've tried multiple times to meet up with him but was always left disappointed & waiting.

Now we no longer talk & I don't give a s**t anymore.


My advice to you is just to be careful. You may end up getting hurt more than you already are. Good luck sweetie!  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Wow. Thanks for the reply... that's so crazy... I've felt like that for a long time... I didn't even have a picture of him till about 2 or 3 years ago when my grandmother pulled one out of her a**...I was like wtf why didn't you let me have this years ago?

I'm sorry things went badly for you... *hugs* I hope maybe someday you guys can patch that void but then again maybe not... I just feel like there is something missing from my life... I need to figure it out.  

[Lady Kira X]

I grew up hearing horror stories about this man. So it only fueled my hatred.

I'm just happy that out of everything. I lost the hate, sadness & longing in my heart. I figured out what I needed & having a father figure wasn't one of them. Though it did take me almost 18 years to come to that conclusion. At least I still have my adopted dad.

Just don't give up hope. If you find anyone on facebook that looks like him just send him a message asking if he knew your mom or what not. That's how my dad found me.. he messaged any girl named Amber or had the same last name lol

I really hope you find him! Just to get some peace in mind or closure.
Every kid deserves to know their parent. -hugs- I hope you feel better..  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Lady Kira X

I grew up hearing horror stories about this man. So it only fueled my hatred.

I'm just happy that out of everything. I lost the hate, sadness & longing in my heart. I figured out what I needed & having a father figure wasn't one of them. Though it did take me almost 18 years to come to that conclusion. At least I still have my adopted dad.

Just don't give up hope. If you find anyone on facebook that looks like him just send him a message asking if he knew your mom or what not. That's how my dad found me.. he messaged any girl named Amber or had the same last name lol

I really hope you find him! Just to get some peace in mind or closure.
Every kid deserves to know their parent. -hugs- I hope you feel better..

Thanks <3 Every guy on facebook I've found is either too old or too young so I honestly don't think he has a facebook.

Did the stories turn out to be true? The only story I really heard about my dad is that he used to carry me around everywhere with him... that I was his pride and joy... then one day he wanted to take me to meet another woman who lived upstairs and my mom told him to basically ******** off... she told him he wasn't taking her baby to meet some strange woman... he left and the next day he took off with the other woman on the back of his Harley and never came back... I still think she drove him off... my biological mom is around the ******** bend... seriously she is a loony! That's her side of the story... I'd like to know his... I do know that according to my grandmother not too long after that my sister and I were staying at my grandparents house and my dad's parents came and tried to take us away and they said no... I wonder what my life would have been like if they had actually taken us? Oh well no way of knowing now...

I'm glad everything worked out for you in the end *hugs* everyone deserves an ending to their emptiness... even if it is a bittersweet one. smile Maybe I can get mine someday as well.  

[Digital Fiend]

Why do you care so much? Because you wouldn't exist without his help. And then he was gone. There's a lot of unresolved issues there. No closure or anything.

I think it might do you good to try and get in touch with him if you think it is him. Just don't expect much. Chances are you are better off without him, but sometimes a person needs to experience it.

I've noticed for myself that once you KNOW where things stand, you don't dwell as much.

My thoughts at least, hope they made sense!  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Digital Fiend

Why do you care so much? Because you wouldn't exist without his help. And then he was gone. There's a lot of unresolved issues there. No closure or anything.

I think it might do you good to try and get in touch with him if you think it is him. Just don't expect much. Chances are you are better off without him, but sometimes a person needs to experience it.

I've noticed for myself that once you KNOW where things stand, you don't dwell as much.

My thoughts at least, hope they made sense!

I wish I could tip hug you right now <3 thank you so much for your reply... I know you are right... but unfortunately I've hit a dead end in my search again sad