I am more complicated than the average person: was abused verbally and a little physically as a child, molested and raped for two years when I was 14, and ended up giving birth and giving the child away when I was 16. I am now 22.

I have not completely recovered, but I try every day to at least remain stable.

One thing that haunts me: I dream often of women, one women in particular. I long for her, though I do not know who she is.

I call myself bisexual. Mainly because I have not been able to successfully figure if I feel particular about one sex or the other.

I have a boyfriend, who knows all of this. We have been together about 18 months or so. I do not find myself attracted to men, often. But women intimidated me, and I feel as if they can't complete me as fully as men.

However: I never dream about men sexually unless it's because I'm forced to have sex with them or forcing myself to, in way of protecting myself or others I care about.

I'm sorry if this is scattered about. I really just aim to get some outside point of view.

Please help me! sad