Not Even Sure How to Say This...

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

Hello, everyone... Uh, how would you feel if you had a male friend... Who was transgender? And coming on to you? He (she?) is even asking me out, and wanting me to move in... And I'm uncomfortable with it... And it's weird, and.... I don't want to turn this person down, but..  

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

ll-Frantic-ll

Honestly? If I didn't want to be with them I would say so.. but I wouldn't be holding their sexuality against them. If you wouldn't be comfortable dating them, that's your business, just don't be discriminatory when rejecting them. let them know that it is because you don't want to be with them and not just because they are transgendered. It will hurt them but they'll over come it. Well, if it is because they are transgendered, then it's going to hurt either way you try to do it.

Also, just for future reference and so that you know what to refer to them as Male to female = she and female to male = he. ^_^;

Well, I want to be honest, but I'm afraid no matter what I say will sound mean... -.-'  

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

ll-Frantic-ll

Exarielle BlackLaw

Well, I want to be honest, but I'm afraid no matter what I say will sound mean... -.-'

You got meh before my edit to fix my terminology. >_<;
lol.

What do you want to say to them? I know that gender plays a big part in some peoples attraction.. so if it's that just let them know, I guess. There's honestly no completely easy way to turn someone down and it's always going to hurt them a little.
But you also say that you don't want to turn them down.. if that's the case then why do it?

Because I like this person as a friend, and they like me romantically... I want to say that I appreciate the offer, but... This person is very sensitive, so...  

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

ll-Frantic-ll

Exarielle BlackLaw

Because I like this person as a friend, and they like me romantically... I want to say that I appreciate the offer, but... This person is very sensitive, so...

Then just tell them that. tell them how you appreciate the offer but you would rather stay friends. Let them know how you actually feel. Treat them the same as you always have after words and things should eventually be okay.

Like I said, there is no easy way to let someone down and they will be at least a little hurt from it regardless of how you go about it. Just be polite/nice about it. That's really all you can do.

I did once. They immediately left for ice cream. And I was as nice as I know how to be. And I felt like a maggot for saying it.  

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

ll-Frantic-ll

Exarielle BlackLaw

I did once. They immediately left for ice cream. And I was as nice as I know how to be. And I felt like a maggot for saying it.

I don't know what to tell you then.. x_x;

You really shouldn't feel bad for telling someone how you feel. At least you are sparing them from being hurt worse by leading them on then completely crushing them with the truth later.

Yeah, I guess. XD  

[Sweater Panda]

Honestly, if I were you I would stall the person until he/she lost interest in me!! But, if you don't want to do that I would state in the nicest way possible that I wouldn't move in with the person but, we would still be friends.  

[999 Sutcliff_Grell 666]

.............
I am not very good at telling people I am not interested but it has to be done.... What I do (only if I want to keep them as a friend.. unfortunately I am a bit harsh towards people I don't care for...) is I let them know that there is something that I have to talk to them about. You mentioned that you have tried to tell him before... So try again but make it sound extremely important (because in a way it is!!). Sit down with him and tell them that this is hurting you. Something like (now don't copy my exact words.. 'cause that would be creepy.. lol)

"I just really need to talk to you. I am really hurting inside and I feel like I am some sort of a liar... I don't want to hurt you but everyday when I see you I feel like I am because I can't be honest around you anymore and I hate it! You are very important to me and I hate myself for now loving you the way you love me! I wish I could but I just can't.. I just can't look at you in that way. I know I tried telling you this before but I feel like I couldn't tell you everything and like the way you deserve to hear it... I really care for you and don't ever want to lose you. Please try to understand what I am saying. I want us to stay together forever as friends and always have each other's backs.. I do love you just as I would my closest friend.."

Or something like that... it is important that you explain that you still care about this person and it is because you care you want to be honest. And if he wants to leave, don't let him!! Tell him to tell you how he feels, and yes it will hurt. But he has to explain his feelings for you and he has to say that he understands why you don't feel the same way (It is not because he is who he is but it is because he is your friend not your love). Cry together if you feel like it but both of you have to be completely honest. If you try very hard to explain your feelings IT WILL MEAN NOTHING If he isn't honest with you in return. The message won't reach the brain and you will simply be put back to where you started. Make sure that the brain sparks!! That he gets it..  

[MiracleRayray2]

being honest is the best!  

[StrayKit]

i have friends who are f to m transgender and honestly, if you aren't interested in the person just let them know that you care about them as a friend but just aren't interested in a romantic relationship. it isn't any different than if it were with any other person. it's better to be honest about it than lead them on with the thought that they might eventually date you  

[Mord Alushar]

I know you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but you need to be straight up with the person on how you feel. The more you just let things happen, he/she is just going to assume that you're okay with this and he/she is just going to set themselves up for heart break and hurt feelings. It may sting a little when you're truthful, but its better that they know now rather than down the road.