Can't make up my mind....

[PandaCub3]

I have been putting this off for a long time now, but I really need advice. Right now, I have a girlfriend. A lot of the time, it doesn't feel like there is a relationship at all. We barely even talk. But at the same time, it feels like there is a relationship. I really like her, but there are times where I see her only as a friend. And in April, she is coming from her state to my state so she can be my date to prom. But, then there is my friend who is a guy. And I like him. (I never thought I would ever like a guy as I have identified as lesbian for soooo long, but things change I suppose...)

Well, I didn't realize I like him until he told me that he had just gone a date. It broke my heart. Then the next day, he told me he was in a relationship with this girl he went on a date with. That crushed me. And I was in school, in class, and crying. Maybe about a week after that, he told me that she broke up with him, and as sad as I was for him, it made me happy. Because he was single. I do still like him, but at the same time, I still like my girlfriend. I honestly am super confused, don't know what to do or what is going on really, and I kinda feel like a horrible person because of all of this... Any advice guys?  

[ectoparasite]

ah, this is a but complicated and im not the best w/relationship things but i'm gonna try to help out?? or at least throw in my two cents

its possible you could be polyamorous? as in, romantically attracted to multiple people
but that doesnt sound like it in this case imo??? it kinda sounds more like the feelings for your current partner are dying, which is always hard to deal with? yeah

youre definitely not a horrible person though!! you have feelings and emotions and whatnot and thats nothing to feel bad about :3

idk thats just my thoughts but im not like king of relationships but i hope i was able to help just a little bit!!!  

[Saint Sims]

My best advice for you is to let things play out.

Don't give up something good and sure for a "maybe".

It really is that simple to just put your mind on that track. Understand that you enjoy the girl you're with and that while you also like this other boy you aren't with him for one reason or another. I wouldn't make any rash impulsive decisions and would instead allow "the cards to fall into place", whatever that might mean or include in this instance.

Only time will tell.

 

[Derailing]

PandaCub3

I have been putting this off for a long time now, but I really need advice. Right now, I have a girlfriend. A lot of the time, it doesn't feel like there is a relationship at all. We barely even talk. But at the same time, it feels like there is a relationship. I really like her, but there are times where I see her only as a friend. And in April, she is coming from her state to my state so she can be my date to prom. But, then there is my friend who is a guy. And I like him. (I never thought I would ever like a guy as I have identified as lesbian for soooo long, but things change I suppose...)

Well, I didn't realize I like him until he told me that he had just gone a date. It broke my heart. Then the next day, he told me he was in a relationship with this girl he went on a date with. That crushed me. And I was in school, in class, and crying. Maybe about a week after that, he told me that she broke up with him, and as sad as I was for him, it made me happy. Because he was single. I do still like him, but at the same time, I still like my girlfriend. I honestly am super confused, don't know what to do or what is going on really, and I kinda feel like a horrible person because of all of this... Any advice guys?

How long have you known your current girlfriend? And how long have you guys been dating? From the information you gave us, it seems that you both are in a long distance relationship, but please correct me if I am wrong. While you do have some feelings for your girlfriend, it seems that you like the guy more. There's nothing wrong with that. The heart has a mind of its own and we can't control who we like, when we fall in love, who we despise, and when we fall out of love.

Try not to label yourself. For the longest time you haven't met the right guy until now and that's conflicting with you previously identifying yourself as lesbian. This is why I advise you to no label yourself. It can lead you to confusion or denial.

What I would do is ask myself this. What is going to make me happier? And try not to lead your girlfriend on anymore if your feelings are fading from her. The sooner you act the better since April is approaching. As someone who recently ended a long distance relationship, I can say this. It is not an easy. Just like you, I had my serious crushes while I was with my ex-boyfriend. It was tough seeing them regularly.

Remain honest and communicate with your girlfriend. That's what I did with my ex- boyfriend (I am attracted to both genders). I told my ex about my crush and my feelings toward and it was one of the seriously scariest and most toughest things I've ever done with someone. Eventually, he accepted that my feelings are uncontrollable and we moved on. If you need somebody to talk to over anything, feel free to add me and we can talk. ^_^  

[PandaCub3]

Cyzn

PandaCub3

I have been putting this off for a long time now, but I really need advice. Right now, I have a girlfriend. A lot of the time, it doesn't feel like there is a relationship at all. We barely even talk. But at the same time, it feels like there is a relationship. I really like her, but there are times where I see her only as a friend. And in April, she is coming from her state to my state so she can be my date to prom. But, then there is my friend who is a guy. And I like him. (I never thought I would ever like a guy as I have identified as lesbian for soooo long, but things change I suppose...)

Well, I didn't realize I like him until he told me that he had just gone a date. It broke my heart. Then the next day, he told me he was in a relationship with this girl he went on a date with. That crushed me. And I was in school, in class, and crying. Maybe about a week after that, he told me that she broke up with him, and as sad as I was for him, it made me happy. Because he was single. I do still like him, but at the same time, I still like my girlfriend. I honestly am super confused, don't know what to do or what is going on really, and I kinda feel like a horrible person because of all of this... Any advice guys?

How long have you known your current girlfriend? And how long have you guys been dating? From the information you gave us, it seems that you both are in a long distance relationship, but please correct me if I am wrong. While you do have some feelings for your girlfriend, it seems that you like the guy more. There's nothing wrong with that. The heart has a mind of its own and we can't control who we like, when we fall in love, who we despise, and when we fall out of love.

Try not to label yourself. For the longest time you haven't met the right guy until now and that's conflicting with you previously identifying yourself as lesbian. This is why I advise you to no label yourself. It can lead you to confusion or denial.

What I would do is ask myself this. What is going to make me happier? And try not to lead your girlfriend on anymore if your feelings are fading from her. The sooner you act the better since April is approaching. As someone who recently ended a long distance relationship, I can say this. It is not an easy. Just like you, I had my serious crushes while I was with my ex-boyfriend. It was tough seeing them regularly.

Remain honest and communicate with your girlfriend. That's what I did with my ex- boyfriend (I am attracted to both genders). I told my ex about my crush and my feelings toward and it was one of the seriously scariest and most toughest things I've ever done with someone. Eventually, he accepted that my feelings are uncontrollable and we moved on. If you need somebody to talk to over anything, feel free to add me and we can talk. ^_^

I have know her for about 3 or 4 years now, and we have been dating over a month. Maybe 2. It took us both a while to finally even get the courage to ask each other out. I asked her out first, just because I knew if I didn't then, I would never ever ask her.

But she was still getting over a bad breakup. Then she asked me out and I said yes. And yes, it is a long distance relationship. And I honestly can't tell who I have more feelings with. I can tell you who I talk to more, but I doubt that amounts to feelings.

 

[PandaCub3]

Der Fluch des Pharao

My best advice for you is to let things play out.

Don't give up something good and sure for a "maybe".

It really is that simple to just put your mind on that track. Understand that you enjoy the girl you're with and that while you also like this other boy you aren't with him for one reason or another. I wouldn't make any rash impulsive decisions and would instead allow "the cards to fall into place", whatever that might mean or include in this instance.

Only time will tell.

Well, I didn't realize I liked him until after I got with my girlfriend.... So.... Yeah... I mean, there are quite a bit of times where I feel like I should break up with her and get with him, but I can never do it. I can't even get myself to bring up the whole thing to her so she knows absolutely nothing about this.

She knows that a while back he tried asking me out, but that was when I had no interest in him in him really. But I have gotten to know him a lot more since then....

 

[PandaCub3]

Something I forgot to say is that I have been having this dilemma for about a month now....

 

[Derailing]

PandaCub3

I have know her for about 3 or 4 years now, and we have been dating over a month. Maybe 2. It took us both a while to finally even get the courage to ask each other out. I asked her out first, just because I knew if I didn't then, I would never ever ask her.

But she was still getting over a bad breakup. Then she asked me out and I said yes. And yes, it is a long distance relationship. And I honestly can't tell who I have more feelings with. I can tell you who I talk to more, but I doubt that amounts to feelings.

Well if you feel like there is no relationship between you and your girlfriend I say that's a major problem. May I ask, how often do you talk with your girlfriend?  

[PandaCub3]

Cyzn

PandaCub3

I have know her for about 3 or 4 years now, and we have been dating over a month. Maybe 2. It took us both a while to finally even get the courage to ask each other out. I asked her out first, just because I knew if I didn't then, I would never ever ask her.

But she was still getting over a bad breakup. Then she asked me out and I said yes. And yes, it is a long distance relationship. And I honestly can't tell who I have more feelings with. I can tell you who I talk to more, but I doubt that amounts to feelings.

Well if you feel like there is no relationship between you and your girlfriend I say that's a major problem. May I ask, how often do you talk with your girlfriend?

Honestly, we don't talk all that often. I mean, she is in college and does have a job, but it just seems sometimes like she had more time for other people. And no time for me. But it could be my imagination.

 

[Enderlad]

Sexual orientation is a very confusing and fluid thing, especially during the teen years. For instance, the artist Erika Moen identified 100 % as a lesbian throughout her teen years and well after college, but somehow along the way she ended up falling in love with a guy and to this day they're happily married. It happens, and you really can't control how your heart goes. If you like someone, you like someone, if you don't you don't.

As for your girlfriend, it really is up for you to judge on this one. If you don't feel a real attraction to someone, or aren't as invested in the relationship as your significant other, it's not fair to them to let it go on any further simply for the sake of being in a relationship.
I'm not saying "End it now!!!!!" just, think it over really hard. Only you can know for sure whether or not you really do like being in a relationship with her, or just having her as company.
And communication is so so so important, you need to be talking to her about this, especially if you feel like you don't talk to each other enough.

Good luck, and I hope your conundrums get less complicated soon. smile