Not sure if this is the Right Forum..

[Enigmatic Malady]

But.. I have to say it somewhere.. I'm not sure you girls can Help.. But here it is.

I'm a prude, I'm against all sexual acts, I have done things I regret strongly over cam, and even in pictures.. I regret it all, but anyways, I'm a prude, I was just laying in bed thinking of this guy Hayden, He was shot and killed before V-day this year. He was my soul mate, He was a prude, he was an amazing 21 year old guy. He would always think of me, and I him. He said I was the only reason why he kept going, because his mother has cancer and is in the hospital. He had two jobs, day and night, and went to college. He was able to do it all, but he was struggling. Anyways, He was the one guy who truly understood and loved me for me.. After what had happened, I just know I wont ever find anyone that would truly understand me, and accept me for me. I know no man would ever want me because I'm so against sex and other such activities. And I just know I wont ever find anyone like Hayden ever again..

Anyways, I think I wont ever be able to truly find someone who can be like hayden, who can accept me.. UGh.. i feel so lonely..

The worst thing is, I like this guy, his names Daniel I've talked about him before.. But he likes someone else.. And I'm thinking i should just give up on him..  

[THE_FAIRY_EMPRESS]

I wouldn't give up, if this new guy really likes you he won't care. He will help you get past the horrible things in your past.

Unfortunately a high percentage of girls (including myself) have done things they regret, i think that the best thing to do is to rise, not be embarrassed or ashamed by the past.

To be honest theres not alot any of us can say to help, but hopefully with time, and meeting the right people you will feel more comfortable with your sexual feelings and be able to find a way to move forward whilst still remembering Hayden.

Theres is nothing wrong with not having sexual thoughts and there is nothing wrong in not being ready/un-sure how to move past the horrible death of Hayden
heart  

[Enigmatic Malady]

THE_FAIRY_EMPRESS

I wouldn't give up, if this new guy really likes you he won't care. He will help you get past the horrible things in your past.

Unfortunately a high percentage of girls (including myself) have done things they regret, i think that the best thing to do is to rise, not be embarrassed or ashamed by the past.

To be honest theres not alot any of us can say to help, but hopefully with time, and meeting the right people you will feel more comfortable with your sexual feelings and be able to find a way to move forward whilst still remembering Hayden.

Theres is nothing wrong with not having sexual thoughts and there is nothing wrong in not being ready/un-sure how to move past the horrible death of Hayden
heart

Thank you love, And I know, People can't really help me with it. And It's not that im unsure or un ready.. Its just me being against it fully. And I really am trying to get past his death.. but he was he one guy i truly loved and still do.  

[Angel_Takio]

It's not healthy to sit and pine for your lost beloved.
Believe me, I know.
The grief is difficult, and no one can tell you how to do it properly or when to stop.
But you shouldn't live your life pining over your loss, regretting his death.
Not only is it the worst possible thing for yourself, but think about what this means for Hayden.
He loved you deeply. Do you really think he would be happy knowing his true love spent the rest of her life in brooding sorrow?
That she never loved ever again?
From the way you described him, he doesn't seem so selfish.

As for the prudence, not sure I can help you there, I'm a bit of a whore meself XD
But just because I am does not mean everyone is.
I know lots of men who not only don't date women for their bodies, but in fact have no interest in sex at all.
Men are not the enemy, even if you've been told that all your life.
They love, just like we do.
They need more than just a warm body, like we do.
They want to share interests and stories, just like we do.
It's hard, but they are there. You just have to look in the right places.

One more thing here.
Choosing not to partake in sex or sexual acts doesn't make you a prude.
You're only really a prude if you look down on others who do just because you don't.
By the way 'Look down in' does not mean 'disagree with' in this context.
It's okay to retain your values and opinions, so long as you're not cruel to others for having different ones than you.
Don't be mean, but by all means, stand your ground.

Don't be afraid.
The world is big.
There is pain, but there is also joy.
Keep your head up, I promise you there will be better times ahead : )

 

[Enigmatic Malady]

Angel_Takio

It's not healthy to sit and pine for your lost beloved.
Believe me, I know.
The grief is difficult, and no one can tell you how to do it properly or when to stop.
But you shouldn't live your life pining over your loss, regretting his death.
Not only is it the worst possible thing for yourself, but think about what this means for Hayden.
He loved you deeply. Do you really think he would be happy knowing his true love spent the rest of her life in brooding sorrow?
That she never loved ever again?
From the way you described him, he doesn't seem so selfish.

As for the prudence, not sure I can help you there, I'm a bit of a whore meself XD
But just because I am does not mean everyone is.
I know lots of men who not only don't date women for their bodies, but in fact have no interest in sex at all.
Men are not the enemy, even if you've been told that all your life.
They love, just like we do.
They need more than just a warm body, like we do.
They want to share interests and stories, just like we do.
It's hard, but they are there. You just have to look in the right places.

One more thing here.
Choosing not to partake in sex or sexual acts doesn't make you a prude.
You're only really a prude if you look down on others who do just because you don't.
By the way 'Look down in' does not mean 'disagree with' in this context.
It's okay to retain your values and opinions, so long as you're not cruel to others for having different ones than you.
Don't be mean, but by all means, stand your ground.

Don't be afraid.
The world is big.
There is pain, but there is also joy.
Keep your head up, I promise you there will be better times ahead : )

To be honest, This opened my Eyes, Thank you for explaining it in a way I never thought of even trying. And I'll try my best to try to find love again, I'll try to find those right places to look as well.

Also, I'm not mean about it, I do try to stand my ground. If people like sex, let them like it. It's not my place to try change them.  

[Angel_Takio]

O w l - C h a n

To be honest, This opened my Eyes, Thank you for explaining it in a way I never thought of even trying. And I'll try my best to try to find love again, I'll try to find those right places to look as well.

Also, I'm not mean about it, I do try to stand my ground. If people like sex, let them like it. It's not my place to try change them.

If you ever need some more advice, or a shoulder to cry on, send me a message.
I'm always happy to listen. : )

 

[Le Patronus]

You definitely should NOT give up. If someone can only be with you for sexual purposes then they don't share real feelings for you. Holding strong values is nothing to be ashamed of, hold onto them until you find a guy who accepts you and supports you. Don't give up, it might take time but you will surely find love again. <3