Spanking children. For or against it?

[Miku-Marmalade]

No I don't have kids.


I am for spanking. I am also for other forms of punishment, not spanking alone.

It depends on the situation and the age. A 5 minute timeout for a 2 year old for touching something they weren't supposed to (not like something they'd get a natural punishment for like touching a curling iron) isn't very effective. A smack on the hand and a stern "no" is more suitable. Now I'm pretty sure no one gives a 2 year old a timeout for as such it's an example.


Anywho I thought I'd put my 2 cents in.  

[Mord Alushar]

I think that there are better ways to teach and discipline a child rather than to resort to hitting. I don't know, maybe I'm sensitive to the subject seeing how I myself came from a physically abusive household.  

[Miku-Marmalade]

Mord Alushar

I think that there are better ways to teach and discipline a child rather than to resort to hitting. I don't know, maybe I'm sensitive to the subject seeing how I myself came from a physically abusive household.

Yeah I wouldn't suggest it as a method for everyone. You have to have patience and good judgement. Someone who has anger issues DEFINITELY shouldn't do spanking imo. :c  

[Kitalpha Hart]

well, if they do something like touch a hot stove, then we tell them that it hurts, don't do it again.
but if they're playing with matches, take them away, spank 'em in the butt, and send them outside in the backyard
if they're bullying someone, spank their a** and send them to the corner. make them stay there until they can say why they did what they were doing was bad. if the answer isn't good enough, send them back. repeat the corner until you get a good answer. then send them on their way with a warning.

timeouts that are short don't do jack s**t cat_stare

 

[Mord Alushar]

Miku-Marmalade

Mord Alushar

I think that there are better ways to teach and discipline a child rather than to resort to hitting. I don't know, maybe I'm sensitive to the subject seeing how I myself came from a physically abusive household.

Yeah I wouldn't suggest it as a method for everyone. You have to have patience and good judgement. Someone who has anger issues DEFINITELY shouldn't do spanking imo. :c

yeah, my family has some real anger issues and really couldn't tell the difference between discipline and venting one's anger on a defenseless child. For those who do spank their child, I just hope that they are doing it for the best intentions for their child rather then just doing it out of anger.  

[Miku-Marmalade]

Mord Alushar

Miku-Marmalade

Mord Alushar

I think that there are better ways to teach and discipline a child rather than to resort to hitting. I don't know, maybe I'm sensitive to the subject seeing how I myself came from a physically abusive household.

Yeah I wouldn't suggest it as a method for everyone. You have to have patience and good judgement. Someone who has anger issues DEFINITELY shouldn't do spanking imo. :c

yeah, my family has some real anger issues and really couldn't tell the difference between discipline and venting one's anger on a defenseless child. For those who do spank their child, I just hope that they are doing it for the best intentions for their child rather then just doing it out of anger.

Me too. And sorry about your story. Abuse is a horrible thing. I took verbal abuse so I can sorta relate. sad  

[Miku-Marmalade]

Kitalpha Hart

well, if they do something like touch a hot stove, then we tell them that it hurts, don't do it again.
but if they're playing with matches, take them away, spank 'em in the butt, and send them outside in the backyard
if they're bullying someone, spank their a** and send them to the corner. make them stay there until they can say why they did what they were doing was bad. if the answer isn't good enough, send them back. repeat the corner until you get a good answer. then send them on their way with a warning.

timeouts that are short don't do jack s**t cat_stare

But kids minds are so active. If you're not careful they'll be on anything but what's intended. Sometimes it could take a loooong time. They could daydream all day. Some of them.  

[Mord Alushar]

Miku-Marmalade

Mord Alushar

Miku-Marmalade

Mord Alushar

I think that there are better ways to teach and discipline a child rather than to resort to hitting. I don't know, maybe I'm sensitive to the subject seeing how I myself came from a physically abusive household.

Yeah I wouldn't suggest it as a method for everyone. You have to have patience and good judgement. Someone who has anger issues DEFINITELY shouldn't do spanking imo. :c

yeah, my family has some real anger issues and really couldn't tell the difference between discipline and venting one's anger on a defenseless child. For those who do spank their child, I just hope that they are doing it for the best intentions for their child rather then just doing it out of anger.

Me too. And sorry about your story. Abuse is a horrible thing. I took verbal abuse so I can sorta relate. sad

Any kind of abuse whether physical or verbal can be very scary. We both just need to keep in mind that we aren't in that situation any more and all we can do is move forward.  

[Aquatic_blue]

I'm still struggling with my views on this issue because when I grew up with my parents - they would use spanking as a form of discipline and often times it was their favorite form of discipline, I guess. At church they went to, most parents there used that and took their kids outside during services to spank them not only to discipline their kid, but to set an "example".

When I got spanked by my mom - it was ALWAYS in anger. I can't remember one time where she calmly spanked me. It was usually with a plastic hanger, with dad's belt, with her shoe, or some other object she thought would be great to use. It's rough for me to accept this form of discipline because I see parents do it only in anger and that is why they do it and in that sense - they get carried away and can do a lot of damage to a child. My dad spanked me once in a while and he was usually angry in his own way. I hated it when parents looked funny or said something funny before they were gonna spank you - you laughed, and then they just made sure you couldn't sit right.

I don't know if I was ever bruised from it, but wouldn't doubt if I was. I can recall sometimes it being difficult to sit for a day or two and if I'd complain about it, my mom would just say, "Well, that's just a reminder that you shouldn't do what you did again." I was an outgoing kid, but later became super shy and I wonder if that is part of the reason why - because when I spoke my mind, I got in trouble like that.

I remember my mom spanking us over the dumbest things. Like, one time she spanked me because I said, "I can't sleep," and woke her up. Because I woke her up - I deserved to get spanked. There is just no reason there. I remember one time my mom said it was "quiet time" and I was "too noisy" so I got spanked. I'd often try to move my hand in front of the hanger or whatever else she was using and then get my hand and my butt beaten. She'd spank me for stupid stuff. I locked myself in a refrigerator once as a kid - I'm sure a blacked out because I only remember so much of the event. My parents were up and I was curious and thought I could fit inside the refrigerator. I remember mentioning it to my husband once in front of my mom and my mom said, "Yeah, I should've spanked you for that." Spanking a child for being curious and not having a supervising adult present in the room while the child is up sounds like the parents fault to me.

I remember my mom taking it into her own hands to spank her nephews - my cousins. I didn't agree with that at all. She would spank them just because she literally felt like it. One time I didn't see anything happen and next second, my mom is grabbing one of them by the arm and swatting them and pushing them to the ground and next second she's spanking another one of them for doing nothing at all. She took out her anger on them when they didn't do anything wrong.

These days, I cannot think of ever swatting a child without feeling highly uncomfortable. When I think about it, I get this nasty tingling in my feet that I get when I can't stand to think about something and if I think on it too long, I get nauseated. I think I would look for all other forms of discipline before even considering spanking a child. If I ever did spank a child, they would've had to cross the line so badly and have done it more than once for no reason.

My husband stands with me on the issue because his mom would use fly swatters and metal hangers and it was always in anger. He told me about times she tried to swat him when he wasn't expecting it, or tried swatting him when he was too old for that and he would grab what she was trying to swat him with and break it when he got a hold of it.

Spanking in studies seems to have more long term negative effects than positive ones. At least in my opinion, because most parents use anger and spanking as an outlet for that anger.  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

Aquatic_blue

Oh honey emotion_hug that was abuse, not discipline. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Spanking has its time and place. A two year old will understand a smack on the rear (one should be enough) better than a time-out, because their attention spans are still very short. Time-outs work for kids about 5 and up.

The only times I really resent my parents hitting me were the two times I didn't deserve it. One was when my sister broke something and I got blamed for it. The other... that's in my thread in the Journal Writings sub-forum.  

[Mord Alushar]

Salted Lemon

I can see why some are against spanking - especially in cases where spanking wasn't used appropriately. Personally though, I am all for **appropriate** spanking. I grew up with spankings and it was an immediate "don't do that again" in my mind. Time-outs and groundings did nothing at all for me. I had a wild imagination and would move on in life if I was given a time-out, and knew my parents couldn't stand having me do nothing for 2-weeks in terms of groundings.

Spankings on the other hand kept me from doing stupid things, as well as parents expressing disappointment. I never liked to disappoint. I have two younger sisters, the middle child had some spanking but not as much, and the youngest had none. You can see the discipline between the three of us and how we treat parents/authority. The youngest (13) gets away with everything and treats people so poorly. The middle child is very clingy and sensitive because she had a lot more time-outs/groundings to where she had to be alone for certain periods of time.

My extended family practices spanking still, and the children are so wonderful and thoughtful. They know that they don't spank in anger, and only spank when they did something wrong. The adult and the child hold a conversation to make sure they both understand why they are getting a spanking, then receive the spanking. That is how it should be done, really.

I just think this generation is becoming far too sensitive on certain subjects, and it's crippling. I don't see how not having kids win/lose at sports is teaching them anything. That pisses me off, it lets them be lazy and not strive for excellence. But that's a whole different topic. xD

That's when spanking is done right. When you punish a child, its to teach them and you have their best interests in mind. My parents didn't spank, they hit to hurt because my siblings and I made them mad. For them, hitting us was revenge for upsetting them. They never sat us down and talked to us why they were doing it or never explained right and wrong.  

[Latrans]

I'm against spanking.

I don't think it's necessary.

If I wouldn't physically discipline my dog (which I don't), why would I physically discipline my child?  

[Lashuri Chan]

I'm not against it, but I wouldn't do it. I think time out can be just as effective.

 

[broken_bleeding_angel]

I am for spanking. Though the reason/cause for the spanking and how hard/with what you are spanking your kids with/for is debatable for me.

I believe that openhanded, non-bruising, spanking on a child's rear is fine when he or she has done something wrong. I do not agree with being walloped with a belt, shoe, spoon, strap, stick/branch, paddle, crop, wire, or any other object that is not your own hand, should be used on a child.

Now the cause for the spanking could be many things. I believe parents should be taught about child psychology. Why a child might act out in a public place might not have anything to do with what is going on currently there, but could have been something from hours to even days ago.

Now if the child did something like beat or bruised a sibling or other family member, without reason ( or for simply wanting attention from a parent) then the child should be spanked.

My limit would be 3 spanks. Anything more than that and I consider it to just be mean.