How do I make sense of this?

[AcuteCastle]

So I'm very new to my relationship with God. I have tried times before to seek him out on my own. Recently I had my ex boyfriend join a church and get baptized. I wanted to follow his example because deep down I knew for a long time I need to be a better person and give up my sin. I started to study the bible with the other ladies in the church and got my bible study daily. I was excited. Well school started soon. I am a graduating senior. I was graduating in illustration. For my last year I really wanted to show everyone my skills and abilities and not to mention show off. It was my responsibility to finish what I started. The thing was I had to stop my studies so I could have enough time to work all my class work of studio class. That's four class three hours a day and a fifth an hour a day. At the end of the semester, which sadly was cut short by two weeks, I was supposed to have a show of my works and set it all up by myself. Now, this is hard work.

When confronted by my boyfrieind and even the girls in the bible study, they said my priority was school and that I wasn't putting God first. That I should make time to study and got to church and participate in church activities. Yet, as soon as I went to school I was told I should've done prep work for these things a semester ago. The teachers even apologized to the class because no one communicated to any of my classmates the paper work that was supposed to get done for graduation and even show work. So right out the gate I'm behind. That was the first day of school.

I didn't fret it. I got the work done and started on my class assignments and projects. Now, through it all I have to pay my own rent so I have to have a certain amount of hours at work and I can only work weekends. So I asked two work nights on Sundays so I can go to church. So at least I can at least my daily word from God. Sometimes on Fridays I manage to go to a devotional to practice the songs and prayer nights. After a while I start using my bible to study on my own. Following the bibles study index in the back of the book. I'm really fired up to have a better relationship with God. I didn't just drop him because of school.

Yet, when I go and talk to my boyfriend and a member from my bible study. They say that since you choose to finish school, God wasn't your first priority. Honestly, that really hurt. I can understand that the member from my bible study wouldn't understand the hard work I have to put into school and graduating, but my boyfriend knew. He was an artist too. Yet he didn't graduate from school.

So I guess what I'm trying to ask is if I made the right decision. Really I made that decision so that I wouldn't be as stressed as I knew I would be. Because I know how much pressure I can handle. Yet, it hurt so much to hear people say "God is not a priority in your life."  

[real eyes realize]

It's really difficult to lead a spiritually-driven life while trying to get ahead in the world at the same time. In your efforts to advance in one, you'll find yourself compromising the other since they both call for a certain level of devotion and often in opposing paths. Unless, of course, you're using your art to communicate something biblical. Thus serving the kingdom while you develop your artistic skills and acquire the needed professional certifications. Otherwise, you'll have to choose which one you're willing to jeopardize more and not feel guilty with that choice. A day only has 24 hours; whatever you allocate more of your "after class/work" time is the priority (even if it's an activity that "requires" more time; you're choosing to continue with it).

I can relate because I went to a magnet school for middle and high school; the fine art kids get the short end of the stick. The dancers and drama kids don't need to take as many classes, of course they probably make up for that with rehearsal times. The arts or anything that the world would categorize as "entertainment" (including sports) demand a high level of dedication, to the point that you have no time for anything else really. But after 7 years of studying art I was pretty sick of it and gave it up lol, not to mention exhausted, uninspired, and running-on-empty spiritually. I took a different path. Maybe my talents will be of use in the future, only YHWH knows. Knowing what I know now, I'm glad I wasn't suckered into the entertainment business as an unbeliever (which was the direction I was going in). It's not a very godly arena (not biblical-godly anyway); more often than not, you'll be asked to use your talents to promote ideals that directly conflict with the bible. Not to mention the expensive materials needed to continue in your craft (assuming this is non-digital), money and time that could be used to help the needy; if it's done to promote something ungodly, it's just a waste of resources, but if you do promote God in your artwork, then it's talent well-spent.

Don't let a "bible study group" guilt-trip you; He knows how zealous you are for him. Just because you neglect the group doesn't mean you're not seeking his word daily. He knows what you do in secret and what you do for his kingdom, only he sees the heart. They can talk all they want. For all they know, he needs a professional artist in his ranks to infiltrate certains areas of Satan's kingdom. Sometimes we do need to pick one over the other though and depending on your options, this may or may not be one of those times. Choosing to study the bible on your own for a while without a physical group meeting isn't a horrible thing, especially this day in age with the internet; we have more tools than the apostles ever had and there are believers online. Communities and groups aren't just physical. The point is to communicate words, to learn, encourage, rebuke, pray for each other if need be. I don't see this as a priority issue, especially if you seek him every day without fail.  

[Servant Reborn]

If you know you're doing what God wants, it does not matter what anyone else has to say Christian or otherwise. Only God knows what you need to do. So, don't let the people get to you. They may mean well, but they may doing more harm than good to dissuade you from your work, if the work is indeed divinely inspired. I'd advice to ask Him because I sure can't know. heart Anyway, take care and God bless you!  

[AcuteCastle]

real eyes realize

It's really difficult to lead a spiritually-driven life while trying to get ahead in the world at the same time. In your efforts to advance in one, you'll find yourself compromising the other since they both call for a certain level of devotion and often in opposing paths. Unless, of course, you're using your art to communicate something biblical. Thus serving the kingdom while you develop your artistic skills and acquire the needed professional certifications. Otherwise, you'll have to choose which one you're willing to jeopardize more and not feel guilty with that choice. A day only has 24 hours; whatever you allocate more of your "after class/work" time is the priority (even if it's an activity that "requires" more time; you're choosing to continue with it).

I can relate because I went to a magnet school for middle and high school; the fine art kids get the short end of the stick. The dancers and drama kids don't need to take as many classes, of course they probably make up for that with rehearsal times. The arts or anything that the world would categorize as "entertainment" (including sports) demand a high level of dedication, to the point that you have no time for anything else really. But after 7 years of studying art I was pretty sick of it and gave it up lol, not to mention exhausted, uninspired, and running-on-empty spiritually. I took a different path. Maybe my talents will be of use in the future, only YHWH knows. Knowing what I know now, I'm glad I wasn't suckered into the entertainment business as an unbeliever (which was the direction I was going in). It's not a very godly arena (not biblical-godly anyway); more often than not, you'll be asked to use your talents to promote ideals that directly conflict with the bible. Not to mention the expensive materials needed to continue in your craft (assuming this is non-digital), money and time that could be used to help the needy; if it's done to promote something ungodly, it's just a waste of resources, but if you do promote God in your artwork, then it's talent well-spent.

Don't let a "bible study group" guilt-trip you; He knows how zealous you are for him. Just because you neglect the group doesn't mean you're not seeking his word daily. He knows what you do in secret and what you do for his kingdom, only he sees the heart. They can talk all they want. For all they know, he needs a professional artist in his ranks to infiltrate certains areas of Satan's kingdom. Sometimes we do need to pick one over the other though and depending on your options, this may or may not be one of those times. Choosing to study the bible on your own for a while without a physical group meeting isn't a horrible thing, especially this day in age with the internet; we have more tools than the apostles ever had and there are believers online. Communities and groups aren't just physical. The point is to communicate words, to learn, encourage, rebuke, pray for each other if need be. I don't see this as a priority issue, especially if you seek him every day without fail.

Thank you so much. Your words make me feel better. I will admit there is still a conflict inside of me, like I did something wrong. I think it's because they my ex boyfriend left me because I choose to finish school first and fully starting my relationship with God. Not to mention the assumptions that took place. I am just so very hurt from that.  

[AcuteCastle]

Servant Reborn

If you know you're doing what God wants, it does not matter what anyone else has to say Christian or otherwise. Only God knows what you need to do. So, don't let the people get to you. They may mean well, but they may doing more harm than good to dissuade you from your work, if the work is indeed divinely inspired. I'd advice to ask Him because I sure can't know. heart Anyway, take care and God bless you!

Thank you so much. The funny thing is my artwork is about me let go of my sins.  

[kdke]

I think the important questions you can ask yourself is this: was I communicating with God throughout all my hard work in school? Was I still putting Him first in my work? Those are the things you should be reflecting on.

I know what it's like to not be able to go to bible studies, to even miss out on going to church entirely because school doesn't give me time, or a job is in the way. But God is going to look at your desires, and He is going to look towards your praying to Him. Just because you didn't make it to bible study doesn't mean He's going to punish you, so don't let your ex or the people in the study point the finger at you. Evangelizing isn't trying to guilt-trip someone into doing something for God.

Perhaps you can try and communicate with your minister about your situation. Call him or something, and let him know that you're struggling with making sure you're doing everything God wants you to do. It's hard to find that extra time when taking classes and studying (I was a full-time student for three years straight, so I know it's tough); it's time-consuming and exhausting. I'm sure your minister will understand this and will give you some positive advice. He's not there to just preach to the congregation as a whole, but to also help guide each individual person when needed. And honestly, in his position, he's probably going to be one of the most important people you can confide in right now.

Just stay hopeful, don't let anxiety take hold, keep praying, and keep letting the world know what you believe in! God bless.