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 Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 3:28 pm
Warning, I tend to be very blunt about certain topics. sweatdrop
I admit, I tend to be a very horny 16-year-old with a lot of trust and rejection issues. (A great combination, eh? I'm surprised my gf loves me as much as she does. xD)
Anyways, I'm in a committed, long distance relationship with my best friend and girlfriend. I went to see her over the summer (we live a good 2,000 miles away from each other) and she was more than willing to kiss me, hold my hand, etc. Heck, she even let me finger her in bed one night. redface
But when it came to having mutual sex or pleasing me she would refuse.
This is where my rejection issues come into place... ever since then I've been very... hesitant to bring up the topic of sex. Should I just forget about it and let things happen naturally, or should I be worried that she's not sexually attracted to me?
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 3:48 pm
♥ For some people, they just need time to adjust to new things, become comfortable so that they can develop the confidence.
It might be easier for you to take a step back and be on the same level as her and take things slowly, until she is truly comfortable.
I hope that helps. ^.^ I was in the same shoes as her not too long ago.
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:03 pm
Thanks for the reply. It's nice to hear from someone who can see more from her point of view.
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:06 pm
♥ You're welcome, I'm only happy I can help. I remember it all too well and I found that it helps if you are supportive and patient with her.
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:16 pm
the-pocket-llama Warning, I tend to be very blunt about certain topics. sweatdrop
I admit, I tend to be a very horny 16-year-old with a lot of trust and rejection issues. (A great combination, eh? I'm surprised my gf loves me as much as she does. xD)
Anyways, I'm in a committed, long distance relationship with my best friend and girlfriend. I went to see her over the summer (we live a good 2,000 miles away from each other) and she was more than willing to kiss me, hold my hand, etc. Heck, she even let me finger her in bed one night. redface
But when it came to having mutual sex or pleasing me she would refuse.
This is where my rejection issues come into place... ever since then I've been very... hesitant to bring up the topic of sex. Should I just forget about it and let things happen naturally, or should I be worried that she's not sexually attracted to me?   Me and my girlfriend are almost the same, im a VERY horny and VERY sensitive to touch girl and so just brushing against my bare skin sneds me into overload, my girlfriend and i are thesame that way. Last june on her birthday i had sex with her and it was mutual but when we saw each other again in august she refused to touch me and ever since then i havent been touched. Im afraid that maybe i did something wrong or shes teasing me for being "such a cute uke"(uke is bottom). Sometimes when were alone together i wanna just attack her but im too shy to even try
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:25 pm
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's like that. sweatdrop I'm incredible sensitive too, and I really want to tell her that but I'm too shy. I'm afraid she'll think of me differently and think that I'm only in the relationship for sex. But like Clasela said, I think we both have to give our partners time. And who knows, maybe even talking to her and asking her about it would be better? -shrugs-
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:35 pm
I suppose I'll be that awkward one from the opposite side of the spectrum?
I can see where she's coming from, just because of how I am. I'm not asexual or anything, but I just have no interest in sex despite finding a lot of people to be damn fine/sexy ******** [Emilie Autumn, David Tennant, Xandra Vardan... The list continues with a variety of anime characters...] It's just not something I can really get my head around.
She may feel that sex isn't a major important part of relationships. She may not be 100% sure of the sex part of sexuality. She may feel nervous; that she may not perform well.
You need to be able to communicate. Communication is a big part of any relationship, whether it be romantic, platonic, sexual, long distance, etc.
I'm only 18. I'm no expert, but I can at least try to give another side of the story, eh? ^^;
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 5:01 pm
Thanks for the reply. I can definitely see where you're coming from. Do you think it would be alright for me to ask her about it? Or should I just wait it out for now? sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 5:04 pm
the-pocket-llama Thanks for the reply. I can definitely see where you're coming from. Do you think it would be alright for me to ask her about it? Or should I just wait it out for now? sweatdrop I think it's important that you talk about it to avoid some possibly dangerous misunderstandings, but it's your decision on when you feel it best.
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 6:02 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 6:11 pm
Well I hope you two work things out. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 6:19 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 6:22 pm
The only thing i can think of that no one else has said yet is that perhaps she had a tramatic experience before and is shying away from that as it brings back bad memories. I know i have that problem, and i am married and have a kid
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