With those kinds of people (the ones that'll talk you down of course lol) you just have to set your foot down. You can only blame her for so much (for "roping you in") when you have the ability to tell her no. I know it can be tough saying no to someone you care about, but if you wanted to do something else then you have to do it. I don't think she was necessarily being "controlling", I think she just really wanted you to come over and didn't want to hear no. You can always call her up and say that you just can't make it, you have other things to do. You don't have to elaborate on anything, just tell her you have to do something else, which would be telling the truth. If you really can't do that yourself, then try and see if your boyfriend will talk to her.
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