Question for trans

[Shikyo Valentine]

Hey, what's up, my name's Shikyo (on Gaia) and I'm a FtM transgender.... The other day I was at the mall with my friend and everyone was calling me Ms., Now, I was even more ticked off than usual cuz I was making an even harder effort to not be mistaken as a girl.
Anyway my question is
Do you ever get ticked off/angry/irritated whenever someone call you the wrong pronoun?  

[FauxZombie]

It is aggravating and a bit of a kick to the "ego" but saying you're the gender you are helps.

I do love it though when I don't have to tell someone my correct gender.  

[Shikyo Valentine]

Yep, whenever someone calls me the right pronoun I feel happy.... that said... even my friends sometimes forget and they call me she or my birth name... crying  

[Galluxee]

Shikyo Valentine

Hey, what's up, my name's Shikyo (on Gaia) and I'm a FtM transgender.... The other day I was at the mall with my friend and everyone was calling me Ms., Now, I was even more ticked off than usual cuz I was making an even harder effort to not be mistaken as a girl.
Anyway my question is
Do you ever get ticked off/angry/irritated whenever someone call you the wrong pronoun?

I get ticked off when I walk into the men's side of a store and people lead me to the women's side, but all you have to do is correct them. People dont know better and you shouldnt go off on them. I mean, if you think about it, theres probably been someone, like myself, whom youve met before and had no idea they were ftm since they cant afford to alter their looks. Theyre not going to know any better unless you speak up.

I do get irritated, but I dont get mad at them. I look like a girl so they have a valid reason to use the feminine pronoun.  

[Shikyo Valentine]

I know what you mean... you look like a girl too?  

[FauxZombie]

Shikyo Valentine

Yep, whenever someone calls me the right pronoun I feel happy.... that said... even my friends sometimes forget and they call me she or my birth name... crying

oh don't I know the frustrations of that - I have half who have switched to calling me DJ - but not the full name in which I prefer, but hey, at least there's a "middle"
And there are some of my friends who are stubborn and refuse to switch the gender pronouns, one who still hasn't connected it and has known me for a long time  

[NuSith]

I do. especially when I worked retail and I was called Ma'am and miss a lot. Once in a while I would have a day that I was passing really werll, I'ed get called sir. I loved those days.

I just now am getting to the point where I am correcting people. My mom has been correcting herself which is cute.

Yesterday I was out with some friends shopping and the cashier avoided pronouns with me. I think he wasn't sure what I was. But my friend John (obviously very male) the man called him sir a few times. I found it more amuseing than anything. I'm sure the guy might know a trans person in his personal life or just wanted to avoid getting it wrong.

In the beginning you'll probably have days where you pass as male real well and others will be agravating because you'll be reffered to in female pronouns all day.
Just gotta hang in there.  

[Kayden_Phoenix2013]

I honestly have to say (speaking from a Male to Female perspective) that it's not getting called the wrong pronoun that bothers me. It's the fact that people can be so closed-minded that even when you try to tell them you want to be called Ma'm or Miss, they refuse to because they only see you as you look on the outside and don't care what you feel like on the inside. That, and having to dress like a man around them when you go anywhere with them even though you really want to dress like a female full time because they feel a man should dress like a man and feel it would ruin their reputation to be seen with someone who does not.  

[Dezuni]

Kayden_Phoenix2013

I honestly have to say (speaking from a Male to Female perspective) that it's not getting called the wrong pronoun that bothers me. It's the fact that people can be so closed-minded that even when you try to tell them you want to be called Ma'm or Miss, they refuse to because they only see you as you look on the outside and don't care what you feel like on the inside. That, and having to dress like a man around them when you go anywhere with them even though you really want to dress like a female full time because they feel a man should dress like a man and feel it would ruin their reputation to be seen with someone who does not.

Not only is it annoying, it's painful. It's incredibly rude to say, "Hey, pretend to be someone else, because you being yourself shames me!" and yet they say it anyway, whether they realize it or not. stare

To them it's probably "okay" because trans people are "weird," I guess neutral  

[Sheryl Lamoureux]

I think you should do your level best not to get annoyed with people who misgender you. Nine times out of twenty it's an honest mistake and if they notice that they've done it they already feel bad, without being chastised. Often they don't notice at all. A gentle correction's all that's needed. I know it's frustrating, and it hurts, when you're doing all you can to pass, but you have to be realistic as well. It's a difficult thing for most people to adjust to. They've been calling you one thing for years, now that must suddenly stop. That's just people who know. Those who don't can only go on what you look like. If even despite your best efforts you still look male, you're going to be called 'he', if you look female you're going to be called 'she'. Best to just make peace with that, really, and sit tight until the hormones and things come and make everything alright.

Of course, if they're doing it deliberately, then get as angry as you like. There's no excuse for that dickishness.

 

[Enigmatised]

It'd annoy anyone. But I also tried not to take it personally, since people don't know.. I was very androgynous pre-t and there'd be occasions where I'd be in a group of strangers and half of them would call me 'he' and half would call me 'she'. razz  

[The Original Harlow]

I'm mtf and I've worked at the same job for 6 years. It's a beauty supply for licensed professionals only, so I see a LOT of the same customers every day for years now. I still get sir'd and he and that guy or whatever, I kind of let it slide. Here is the kicker though only 2 years ago I started transition for the 2nd time after a 12 year denial. So I was trying to enjoy being a guy, I had a blue mohawk and a handle bar mustache. Now I wear dresses, leggings etc and I also have breasts and these same people who've known the "before" me still misgender me. I'm like come on people I'm not gay or effeminate I have BOOBS now and you know I've changed my name. Especially in the beauty industry that is mainly female and also mainly LGBT friendly. No one is rude or disgusted of my change, but I guess old habit. Thing is though they don't even correct themselves, like oops I meant...

So idk I don't get mad, but I'm thinking I may have to come up with a polite way to start correcting people. But I totally hear you, and I know my voice is a problem, because it's a social cue that I was amab but you'd think it would be common sense.

end rant/ xd  

[0ntogeny]

I have always felt blessed that I need to make effort to look FEMALE (I am FtM as well)...I naturally have literally no breasts and am insanely Androgynous looking and have been being called a boy sense I was a kid, but I mostly just feel uncomfortable around family and such who refuse to acknowledge my identity....but over all I dont really let it ruin my emotions too much, used to when I was younger...but over the last few years I have just gotten used to it and just shrug it off when someone calls me "her" mostly thats just my family anyhow...or when im having a makeup loving day (which I feel I shouldn't expect to be called male when im literally looking female because trans crossdressing is so confusing for the rest of the population to wrap their heads around)...personally I feel that just being me and knowing who I am is good enough for myself...but thats just me :3 (sorry I ramble sweatdrop )

oh and on an extra added thought, I just refer to myself neutrally or male without even making effort to correct others and people tend to catch on