HELP! How To Escape Going To A Marriage

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...I really hate weddings. I didn't like even going to my own. -_-; They're loud, over-priced, obnoxious, etc. etc. And personally, I find them offensive in their pomp and circumstance. Much ado about nothing. Besides that, I'm deathly afraid of people and RELATIVES, especially.

My husband, on the other hand is more like a woman in this way and likes going to such occasions. Now, his rather plain brother and girlfriend are to be wed. -_-; It will be a VERY big wedding with very big families and amounts of friends. We just had a rather bitter fight over me not attending. They attended my wedding, but I didn't really want them there...I only gave in because of my husband and his rather cloying mother.

So, now I'm thinking of agreeing, but perhaps inducing sickness somehow right before...

Uhm, any help, please?  

[killafrog]

I just grin and bear it for weddings. I enjoy the food mostly other then a few friends i happen to run into during weddings.  

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killafrog

I just grin and bear it for weddings. I enjoy the food mostly other then a few friends i happen to run into during weddings.

Deary, would you be able to cross-dress and take my place? emotion_kirakira
...I'll bake you some tasty cookies and a cake! Besides... you can ninja as much food as you want. ninja  

[killafrog]

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killafrog

I just grin and bear it for weddings. I enjoy the food mostly other then a few friends i happen to run into during weddings.

Deary, would you be able to cross-dress and take my place? emotion_kirakira
...I'll bake you some tasty cookies and a cake! Besides... you can ninja as much food as you want. ninja

rofl no no I can't cross dress as well as you can, Might mistake me for a werewolf and wanna put me down stare  

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killafrog

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killafrog

I just grin and bear it for weddings. I enjoy the food mostly other then a few friends i happen to run into during weddings.

Deary, would you be able to cross-dress and take my place? emotion_kirakira
...I'll bake you some tasty cookies and a cake! Besides... you can ninja as much food as you want. ninja

rofl no no I can't cross dress as well as you can, Might mistake me for a werewolf and wanna put me down stare

Oh, fiddly! Well, thought I'd ask anyway. Here's a cookie for considering it. *hands killa a whale-shaped cookie*

...hey, and how do you know I cross dress? O_O;  

[killafrog]

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killafrog

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killafrog

I just grin and bear it for weddings. I enjoy the food mostly other then a few friends i happen to run into during weddings.

Deary, would you be able to cross-dress and take my place? emotion_kirakira
...I'll bake you some tasty cookies and a cake! Besides... you can ninja as much food as you want. ninja

rofl no no I can't cross dress as well as you can, Might mistake me for a werewolf and wanna put me down stare

Oh, fiddly! Well, thought I'd ask anyway. Here's a cookie for considering it. *hands killa a whale-shaped cookie*

...hey, and how do you know I cross dress? O_O;

your the one who brought it up so i assumed u did at least once
Just fyi bring a frozen dart gun to wedding and see how everyone thinks about if a cold dart would hit them and hit them hard ninja  

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killafrog

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killafrog

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killafrog

I just grin and bear it for weddings. I enjoy the food mostly other then a few friends i happen to run into during weddings.

Deary, would you be able to cross-dress and take my place? emotion_kirakira
...I'll bake you some tasty cookies and a cake! Besides... you can ninja as much food as you want. ninja

rofl no no I can't cross dress as well as you can, Might mistake me for a werewolf and wanna put me down stare

Oh, fiddly! Well, thought I'd ask anyway. Here's a cookie for considering it. *hands killa a whale-shaped cookie*

...hey, and how do you know I cross dress? O_O;

your the one who brought it up so i assumed u did at least once
Just fyi bring a frozen dart gun to wedding and see how everyone thinks about if a cold dart would hit them and hit them hard ninja

Ahhh! I might've at least once. But nah, there's better cross-dressers than I. My female figure and dimpled face isn't very masculine. XD

...likin' the cold dart gun suggestion. ninja  

[lady ayami chan]

Wouldn't it be funny if it were the same Wedding I have to attend early May? emotion_kirakira
*cackles err... emotion_yatta *
I would say go, find one person you can stand to talk to or interact with and just stick there all night. You don't need to be the social butterfly or even put on airs, luckily you will not be the focus - the rather plain bride will rofl
Just don't wear red - apparently that is a no-no.
I'm tempted to wear red... ninja But I own no red dress atm...
If all else fails find a corner to hide in with some noms yum_puddi yum_wasabipie yum_icecreampie  

[killafrog]

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killafrog

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killafrog

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killafrog

I just grin and bear it for weddings. I enjoy the food mostly other then a few friends i happen to run into during weddings.

Deary, would you be able to cross-dress and take my place? emotion_kirakira
...I'll bake you some tasty cookies and a cake! Besides... you can ninja as much food as you want. ninja

rofl no no I can't cross dress as well as you can, Might mistake me for a werewolf and wanna put me down stare

Oh, fiddly! Well, thought I'd ask anyway. Here's a cookie for considering it. *hands killa a whale-shaped cookie*

...hey, and how do you know I cross dress? O_O;

your the one who brought it up so i assumed u did at least once
Just fyi bring a frozen dart gun to wedding and see how everyone thinks about if a cold dart would hit them and hit them hard ninja

Ahhh! I might've at least once. But nah, there's better cross-dressers than I. My female figure and dimpled face isn't very masculine. XD

...likin' the cold dart gun suggestion. ninja

As long the dart don't get covered in ice it should work for a cold shock for the ones who are bare in the back twisted

fyi don't do this and worst wedding possible?  

[killafrog]

Curious question If you wear black to a funeral, why would you to a wedding?  

[lady leko-chan]

killafrog

Curious question If you wear black to a funeral, why would you to a wedding?

Simple *flips wrist*
For many vows are "till death" twisted  

[Kairanha]

Speaking of cross dressing... I've never been to a wedding. Wait yeah I have, but it was a very small one. Then there was that one I went to when I was around 4, but all I really remember from that one are the chalky, mint candies. I'm pretty sure I've been to no more than two weddings.  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Only wedding I've ever been to was my own. It was small and inexpensive. Most of the money spent for it went toward the food, which was awesome. emotion_awesome

Anytime any other wedding came up, there was always something or another going on that prevented me from going, which wasn't a big deal since I'd just be there for free food anyway... which at this point I don't think there would even be anything edible for me anymore at most weddings stare

I do, however, have experience in being dragged to social gatherings that I didn't particularly want to go to both with and without family. Pretty much just sit off in a corner somewhere and give one word responses to anyone who tries to talk to me, which makes them give up pretty quickly and move on.  

[Officer Hot-Pants]

Hit on the bride. Or her mother. Or both at the same time if you'd like to get out of more than just the wedding.  

[Moral Obligations]

Discreetly find out the time that they have to give their final head count to the catering. I know for ours, it's 72 hours. About a day before the final headcount has to be announced, fall mysteriously 'ill'. It doesn't have to be anything crazy, just a head cold, or perhaps say it's a stomach virus because then you don't have to fake a stuffy nose.

Wish them well, send your husband to the wedding with the card, and chalk it up as a win.