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To share my testimony, will take a bit, but I'm feeling led by the Lord to share with the world of his greatness! So I will have to do some back tracking so you can see what all he delivered me from.
Born in 1981, we lived in a farm house that was very run down. We were dirt poor. Didn't have enough food most days. We were always wondering where the next meal would come from. As children, we lived in a house full of verbal, physical, mental, even sexual abuse. It was a very bad situation, but as you will see, the Lord delivered me and my brothers from these situations! At the age of 9, my mother passed away. I was always mad. Closed down. Wouldn't speak to anyone. Going to counseling wouldn't even help. My dad gave us to his brother because he didn't want to deal with the children. This was after he had begun sexually abusing me to the point of penetration.
In time my uncle would not only penetrate, but sell my services at about 10 years old, he was allowing his friends to do the same nasty things to me. I didn't feel like there was anyone I could trust in the world to tell this to, so I just kept it to myself. After being with him for almost 3 years, my father called one evening and said, "Tell your grandmother to get down here by the morning to get you all or you are going to foster care." In an effort to keep my little brothers together, I was able to help my grandmother arrange to get us all. Well, dad stopped by that morning and took Dustin so that he could keep collecting the disability check they were receiving for him due to his disabilities.
We arranged a court date and my aunt took us down there. The judge gave her custody of us. We had to fight to get Dustin. Dad never was forced to pay child support. It was really hard for my aunt who was going through a bitter divorce at the time. When I was 15, I accepted Jesus as my savior, but the battles were just beginning. The enemy had such a hold on me because of my feelings of hatred at the world, that It would take MANY years for me to start sloughing off some of the bad stuff. My aunt put us in counseling, but I never trusted the counselor and for good reasons. I found that she was going back and telling my aunt everything that was said in sessions, so I shut down and wouldn't tell her anything else ever again. I eventually quit going because it wasn't doing any good. At the age of 17, I graduated high school 3.5 months early. On my 18th birthday, I took a Greyhound bus 1,000 miles away to live with my sister. This was the beginning of my healing process. Although at the age of 16 we were adopted and I was forced to call my aunt "mom" she wouldn't ever take the place of my real mom.
When I got to Florida, I got a job and so did my sister. We worked together and met a cute guy named Aaron. I had a crush on him, but I would later figure out that was my flesh. He's one of my best friends to this day. He's there for me when no one else can be. He invited me to go to church with him and even picked me up to take me places. He included me in his circle of friends. That was the first time I felt the love of the Lord. Aaron loved me as a sister in Christ. That was the first time I felt that I could trust someone. I just wasn't ready to tell anyone of my story.
Later that summer, I met Ryan, whom would become, my best friend, my lover, my husband, my soulmate. We got married in 2002. I had my first daughter in 2003. During this time, I dealt with a lot of the anger and fear that was going through my body. I wrote a diary and put everything i was feeling in it. and then sent it out to sea. When I did that I felt new. I felt like I could start the process of finding who I really was.
Since then, I have moved back to Indiana to deal with some things and grow stronger in the lord. Then about 2 years later, we would be called back to Florida. I found the church we are still at to this day 5 years later. We love it. This church family is so loving and caring. This church has allowed me to grow in my walk with the Lord. He delivered me from a life of abuse to a life with him. He's continuing to work in me. And I am continuing to learn how to trust in him and have Faith that HE will provide.
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