[S] The Lifemate Conundrum

[Kamiki]

So... the new breeding rules are awesome.

Awesome.

But a few people have pointed out one side-effect when it comes to lifemating. Specifically, if you enter into a lifemate with someone and your partner goes MIA, no matter how much your RP -your- Soquili, you loose access to that 5th breeding spot, less you break the lifemating.

Now, lifematings are supposed to be a BIG DEAL and not something you just enter into lightly. You should not be entering lifematings just to increase your chance at a 3rd basket, or just willy-nilly. That's the idea, at least, its virtually a marriage agreement between two Soquili.

But, real life happens. People drop off the face of Gaia and are never heard from again. But for some people, myself included, a MIA owner doesn't mean I want to break the lifemating. For example, I have a couple that has been together since 2005 or 2006, and even through the other owner is long-gone from Gaia, I would hate to break them up.

So, what's a good compromise that might allow lifemates to share their 5th breeding together, even if one of the owner's isn't around? But still discourages people from entering in lifematings to just to "play the numbers"?

Here have been some ideas tossed around:

- If a Soquili used 3+ of their breedings with the SAME Soquili, as long as they stay lifemated, the Soquili with 100% stats can use their 5th breeding with their lifemate, regardless of their stats.

- If you can prove that the MIA owner is gone from Gaia (ie, hasn't posted in 6+ months), then you can get special permission to use their 5th breeding spot with their lifemate if the remaining active owner gets 100% stats.

Any other ideas? Thoughts?

*warning* this thread is not to b***h about the new breeding rules. The new rules are amazing and awesome and everyone already gets a new breeding slot regardless, but there a few situations where this seems to be a hit to people who prefer to Lifemate, or have some really old couples they don't want to break up.


 

[Epine de Rose]

Ideally I would be primarily supportive of the first option:

- If a Soquili uses 3+ of their breedings with the SAME Soquili, as long as they stay lifemated, the Soquili with 100% stats can use their 5th breeding with their lifemate, regardless of their stats.

The reason for this is that I have a few friends who can find a couple of minutes to appear on gaia to say hello, check their PMs and so on, but they just can't dedicate time to RP based on their RL circumstances. Whether that be work or something more complex - it isn't that they don't want to RP, it's simply that they can't at the moment.

If we were to have it where they've used 3+ breedings with that soquili then we can assume that they would have used the fifth with them as well.

However I would put this limitation on it:

- If your soquili couple break their lifemating at the third/fourth breeding, then they forfeit the right to achieve a fifth breeding with a newly lifemated soquili whose stats are below 100%.

That means that if they end up re-lifemating with another soquili, if that soquili has maximum stats they will still achieve the fifth basket regardless. The only difference is that they lose the privilege of "carrying" a mate that may not have been maxed.

It could be tracked in the lifemate list where the "max breedings achieved" list is. You could then have two categories:

- Those soquili without max stats who are allowed to participate in the 5th breeding (This could simply be a list of qualifying couples)
- Forfeited soquili, i.e. the soquili (or pair of soquili) who broke their lifematings at the 3rd/4th basket and therefore forfeited the right to "carry" a non maxed soquili.

Combine the forfeit with a six month cooldown period for the lifematings all ready and it should deter too much exploitation...


At least that's all I can really offer as a suggestion in regards to developing the idea.

There might need to be additional consideration given to those who want to break lifematings due to inactivity (as they have a three month ban on mating), but I think that should ultimately be a staff call.  

[ATh e a r t]

Uses or used? (Kamiki used 'uses' and Epine used both.)

I've honestly be for the same Soquili deal if 3 breedings are already used with the same Soquili. If the three are not used as of now... IE 1 or 2, there are still 2-3 breedings left for that Soquili so I don't know why they couldn't break their LMing o_O;

But adding on another list... That would be very much up to the NCS (I think mostly Uta? Not 100% sure) since they're already busy IRL for the most part and still manage to do things for the shop.

 

[Malis Vitterfolk]

I think it should be 'used' for example:

Sen'jin and Ysiel have maxed out all three breedings together before the new breeding rules came into affect and thus qualify for 5 slots as Sen has max stats even though Ysi has no stats. (This is pretending, of course, they are maxed and Ysiel is owned by someone else.)

The Doctor and Sexy are lifemated but The Doctor used his first breeding with someone else. He cannot grant Sexy a fith breeding even though he has max stats.

Malis and Kifo had not used all their breedings when the breeding rule came into effect. Malis cannot grant Kifo a fith breeding even though she has max stats. (Pretending she wasn't an elder and was lifemated to him.)

 

[Kamiki]

I meant "used" whee  

[JetAlmeara]

I like this idea, and it's not so hard to keep track of. It's certainly a good way to limit the impact of the new (completely awesome rule) on lifemates whose partners are somewhat absent.  

[Niyaru Delacroix]

I really like this idea  

[Kamiki]

LydaLynn

I don't think this is something that should just be a 'given' or that it should be for those who who have a partner that doesn't RP and they just figure they'll 'carry' the LM to the fifth breeding. I understand wanting to carry the partner - but if you really want to do that . . . work on being an elder - they get to carry their partner for an extra breeding. Or break the LM. Or accept that you'll have fewer breedings. Or see about the surrogacy clause in the new LM information and see if that can bridge that extra breeding gap without breaking the LM.

Just going to point out, the "work on being an Elder" isn't really a fair answer because not all Soquili are "elder" material. Elders aren't something you just get for being a maxed and heavily RP'd Soquili. Even some of the most RP'd Soquili in the shop aren't Elders and probably never will be, just because it doesn't fit the character.

Also, the Surrogacy thing doesn't work because all parties have to agree to it and, well, if they are MIA from Gaia then they can't agree to it anyway.

And again, some people take LMing very seriously and won't break it just to get extra breedings, which is fine... I'd rather be down a breeding then break the LM I've had since 2005. But at the same time, the point of this thread was just to point out that it disproportionally effects LMs than fling-Soquili.

Also, people who have killed their Soquili did so willingly. It's not quite the same as having your LM partner just leave Gaia one day to never come back.  

[.Tortured. .Pumpkin.]

Honestly, if I ever go MIA from Gaia, I would hope the owners wouldn't breed my pony in my absence. ;-; I would have no say in which basket I got, who gets the third if there is one, etc.
I've seen some cases where the MIA owner's basket got given away. If I came back from an unexpected illness/injury/family emergency that took a few months to recover from and found out one of my characters was bred and my basket was given away, I'd go ape s**t.
I think that both owners should have to he active in order for Soqs to breed. Or at least have given consent to breed in that case. I would like to see a clause on the breeding form stating that if I were to leave for X amount of months, either it would be okay orbit would not be okay for the other owner to breed my Soq.  

[Kamiki]

As the current rules are, you still have to give the absent owner a basket, I believe. And still have to try to contact them, but if you can't you can still breed as long as the permission was set. That's why you can specify on the agreement if there is blanket permission or not.  

[Sabin Duvert]

@TP - regarding MIA/uncontact-able owners.... I'm sorry, but I really agree with current policy in NOT stopping the owners who are still around, still actively trying for the couple (which can take months or years) from not having to stop attempting.
Unless I'm mistaken, it's required to give a basket to the MIA owner UNLESS that owner says otherwise (which does happen sometimes when owners take an announced leave from Gaia).
So yeah... MIA owner still gets a basket, rather than... nothing... if their partner was forced to stop... waiting for them when they come back. They may not have first pick, but that's usually not a guarantee anyway. And if the other owner is the one jumping through hoops to get the breeding seen through while they've left then... *shrugs* maybe they're due first pick, anyway.
((Though, honestly, I find it a little sad on the part of the colorists who have to put a lot of work into making that baby for an owner who sometimes never does come back to Gaia. The soquili remains nameless, unappreciated, not RPable, etc)).

@Lyda - And Maybe I'm the exception, but most of my soquili who I RP are not the lifemating sort. I have several maxed out soquili who are fling-only. There are a lot more plots and interactions other than setting up couples.  

[Kamiki]

I agree that its sad... but at the same time, I think more consideration should be made for the users who are sticking around Gaia than the ones who have left. Imagine trying for years to get a breeding (and it happens) only to find out your owner has gone MIA sometime during that time. There have been times when they didn't even KNOW they had been MIA until the breeding was won, too.

I think the easiest solution would be to put something in your breeding permission post. Like "this post will expire in x months" and have to repost or something. That way people who want to safeguard their Soquili can, and those who don't care (if they don't care abuot being on Gaia for 4+ years without contact, they probably don't care about their Soquili) can let their partner keep trying.