Prayer for Baptism assistance

[Deceptibean]

Hi there.

I need some prayer. We asked two close friends to be the godparents for our new baby. His baptism will be some time at the end of summer or beginning of autumn. This morning I found out they are Unitarian and do not believe Jesus is the son of God. This is heartbreaking for me, as I want my son raised with similar faith. I am having a hard time with this. I basically need to un-ask them because I cannot have someone vow to raise my son in a faith they do not believe in. I either need to come up with an alternative for godparents or have them not be his godparents. I'm struggling with this, as I feel horrible for asking them without knowing this beforehand.  

[real eyes realize]

You could post-pone your child's baptism and explain to that couple that until your child exhibits an understanding of what sin is and understands their need to repent of sin, you won't baptize him/her. Of the examples in scripture of people undergoing baptisms, the individual getting baptised is aware that they need to repent of sin to be forgiven (Mark 1:4; Acts 2:41; Romans 6:4).They were both men and women who had accepted the message and set out to live new spiritual lives. A baby doesn't have that awareness, hasn't accepted any message, made the choice to believe Jesus or not, and thus hasn't been born-again even if water is sprinkled on them (or they're dunked); babies stay in the sinful state they inherit from Adam until they acknowledge and repent of their sin and become born-again. The physical water isn't supernaturally doing the repentance for them nor making them born-again: it's accepting the message that makes one born-again (1 Peter 1:23; Ephesians 5:26-27). Going about it the biblical way is a sure-fire way to eliminate the problem of having them as godparents: from what I can tell, the concept of a godparent doesn't exist in scripture. When the people you hang out with, or constantly surround yourself with or communicate with are like-minded believers, fellowshipping with them should naturally carry out that task. It's not the burden of any one couple, but the community of believers that you surround yourself with.

Or you can be frank: I'm searching for godparents who will raise my child in adherence to my trinitarian beliefs. Either way works.  

[Aquatic_blue]

I'm not sure why you need to have "godparents" for your child - it's not required to have godparents for your child. I suppose it also depends on how you define the term "godparents" - my definition is more like, "Other people that are so close they are like family so they are a godfamily". If you mean a godparent as in a person who stands sponsor to another baptism then that makes sense here (although I'm unsure if this is a witness or those performing the baptism for an individual who wishes to be baptized).

You already feel that it's wrong to keep them apart of this so let them know - be honest. Tell them you don't feel comfortable with it, or feel that you should choose someone else. You know what you need to do as far as the godparents so do it, and do it with as much gentleness as possible.

If your son is still a baby, you should put off the baptism until it is their personal choice. They may then be baptized before they are a teenager, when they are a teenager, when they are an adult, or even later in life. Before baptism one must believe the gospel (Mark 16:15 - 16), which a baby cannot express to you whether they believe and understand the gospel or not or confess with their lips that Jesus Christ is Savior with their own judgement. Baptism requires repentence first (Acts 2:38 ), which a baby is not yet capable of. A baby cannot be held responsible for understanding God's law so they have no sins to repent of. Babies do not necessarily make choices so if the baby dies because they do not yet understand salvation and cannot make that choice yet.  

[Deceptibean]

I personally didn't want to select godparents, but my husband feels it's important. For me, baptizing my son is a way to bring him into the church and vow in front of the congregation and God that I will raise him to know and love the Lord. I know that Gabriel can't make the decision himself, but the sacrament is important to me, as well as my husband. I'm hoping that when he's older he will do what I did: reaffirm my faith and get re-baptized via submersion baptism. We have a couple within our church that will be our sponsors, but I think hubby is still trying to come to terms with having no godparents. This isn't something that I took lightly and it was a few months before we could agree on anyone. (I'd rather have him baptized and raised in a community of faith with positive role models than single out individual people as "special" or "more worthy" than others. It takes a village, right?)

To me a godparent is one who shares the same faith as you, and will raise the child with that faith and be a godly example for him/her throughout their life. If anything were to happen to the parents, the godparents would take up the task of continuing to raise the child in that faith they were baptized into. My friend told me yesterday she is not comfortable doing that because that's not what she believes.

I know some denominations believe that baptism is the moment of salvation, even though the child is unaware of what is happening. Having been raised Catholic (school and all) as well as Methodist (my personal choice as I grew older) having my son baptized is important to me. It's a representation of his being born into faith, and my reaffirmation of my love of the Lord and my vow to continue to be a woman of faith, and to raise Gabriel knowing and loving God.

As for the actual baptism date, we don't have one yet. It will be August or September, but nothing is definite as I'm waiting for the orthopedic doctor to say he can be in his Pavlik harness part time (he has hip dysplasia). I don't want to have this beautiful ceremony and all these pictures being taken in this raggedy little harness holding him in a specific position. It sounds kind of shallow, but he'll be in the harness for such a short time, I'd rather have his first big ceremony be out of the harness.

I just feel bad because I don't want my ultimate decision to affect our friendship. While I do not agree with her belief, she is still a very close friend whom I love dearly. She suggested yesterday (after a conversation whilst sobbing) being 'unofficial' godparents, so they're not reciting the Apostle's Creed and essentially lying in front of the whole church and God. We're all going to get together this evening and discuss the situation at hand. I think in addition to my concern for their friendship (though it seems they understand and aren't upset about it) is my husband and how he will feel in the event we do not find godparents that I feel are suitable for Gabe.  

[Meili Kyumee Youichi]

*praying*  

[Aquatic_blue]

Deceptibean

I personally didn't want to select godparents, but my husband feels it's important. For me, baptizing my son is a way to bring him into the church and vow in front of the congregation and God that I will raise him to know and love the Lord. I know that Gabriel can't make the decision himself, but the sacrament is important to me, as well as my husband. I'm hoping that when he's older he will do what I did: reaffirm my faith and get re-baptized via submersion baptism. We have a couple within our church that will be our sponsors, but I think hubby is still trying to come to terms with having no godparents. This isn't something that I took lightly and it was a few months before we could agree on anyone. (I'd rather have him baptized and raised in a community of faith with positive role models than single out individual people as "special" or "more worthy" than others. It takes a village, right?)

To me a godparent is one who shares the same faith as you, and will raise the child with that faith and be a godly example for him/her throughout their life. If anything were to happen to the parents, the godparents would take up the task of continuing to raise the child in that faith they were baptized into. My friend told me yesterday she is not comfortable doing that because that's not what she believes.

I know some denominations believe that baptism is the moment of salvation, even though the child is unaware of what is happening. Having been raised Catholic (school and all) as well as Methodist (my personal choice as I grew older) having my son baptized is important to me. It's a representation of his being born into faith, and my reaffirmation of my love of the Lord and my vow to continue to be a woman of faith, and to raise Gabriel knowing and loving God.

As for the actual baptism date, we don't have one yet. It will be August or September, but nothing is definite as I'm waiting for the orthopedic doctor to say he can be in his Pavlik harness part time (he has hip dysplasia). I don't want to have this beautiful ceremony and all these pictures being taken in this raggedy little harness holding him in a specific position. It sounds kind of shallow, but he'll be in the harness for such a short time, I'd rather have his first big ceremony be out of the harness.

I just feel bad because I don't want my ultimate decision to affect our friendship. While I do not agree with her belief, she is still a very close friend whom I love dearly. She suggested yesterday (after a conversation whilst sobbing) being 'unofficial' godparents, so they're not reciting the Apostle's Creed and essentially lying in front of the whole church and God. We're all going to get together this evening and discuss the situation at hand. I think in addition to my concern for their friendship (though it seems they understand and aren't upset about it) is my husband and how he will feel in the event we do not find godparents that I feel are suitable for Gabe.

I'm sorry, I can't help but notice you say, "Having my son baptized is imporant to me." , when people phrase it like that - it can be a selfish motive. So identify, "Is this something that I want my son to do (so perhaps I'm not judged because I choose not to, so that I don't become disrespected in the church, etc.) or is this something that I want to do for God?"

I couldn't help but notice it again later saying what you want, you are not saying, "I'm doing this because God wants me to." You are saying, "I don't want...", "I'd rather have...." Remember to truly think to yourself, "Am I doing this for myself, for my son's best interest, or am I doing it for God?" Make sure you are doing this for God because it is right by Him to do so - that is what is most imporant. Believing in God is not about what we want, but what God wants.

Don't worry about the friendship so much. It might stay a friendship and it may not - people come and go for different reasons. Sometimes I find that God put's people in our life for a reason and may remove their friendship from us for a reason. We can't be afraid to lose friends since the world will hate us as mentioned in The Holy Bible. As is said in Matthew, worrying won't add an hour to our life. It's pointless to worry.

Just remember, do what God would want you and your husband to do - not what man's tradition says or wants you to do. If you find that something truly isn't okay with God - don't be afraid to say, "No." and test the spirit.

Your son doesn't have to be baptized to be a part of the church (although I know of some churches that will argue that). He may be a child and still learning, and growing - but it doesn't mean that he is unimportant to the Lord. He should be treated with the same amount of kindness everyone else is whether he's baptized or not. A child can love God before they are even baptized. Since the process to baptism takes repentance of one's sins - repenting is showing love for God in some way.

I will continue to pray for you.