For the past several months my friend has been in a very negative attitude towards himself. I could understand it when we were at school and kids would pick at him, but we have been out of school for roughly 2 months now. His self hating attitude seems like it's gotten even worse than before. He blamed most of it on the kids at school picking at him, but now there are none so obviously something is up. So we were playing a game that we normally enjoy and afterwords we started messaging each other back and forth for a long time about his problems once again.
I am all fine and dandy for listening. If you need to rant, rant away. If you need advice, I'll give it to my best extent. So as usual, I just listened, putting in a few words here and there. Finally he asked for some advice. This is where our argument started. I just flat out told him what everyone else has been too afraid to say. I told him flat out that he needs to get over himself and stop being so over dramatic. He's constantly whining about things he doesn't even need to stress about yet.
Literally every single problem he talks about is a problem that I also had to deal with (which is part of why we are good friends - we both have an understanding of what the other has been through) and I had more problems on top of that. Now, I am not comfortable saying about them, and it's not my place to say what happened to him either so I won't say it. I am aware that even if the same events happen to different people, it will affect them differently, but god dang. I flat out told him that he needs to get over it. If I could get over it, so can he.
My friend believes that he is going to fail at life. He thinks that he will never have a nice family and that he will always be alone. He think's he's stupid, worthless, and a waste of space. I told him that he is not any of those things and that the reason he hasn't found his talent yet is because he hasn't tried everything there is to try. As for the "forever alone" thing as he likes to call it, I told him that he doesn't even need to worry about getting a girlfriend yet because he is still very young. And then he just kept attempting to argue back saying that he was speaking the truth. This is where the argument really started to bother me.
We have had these types of arguments multiple times already. No matter what he just won't stop believe that he is a waste of space and I keep trying to fight him and tell him he isn't a waste of space. I get it that his family hurt him just like mine hurt me, but come the $%^& on man. GET THE $%^& OVER IT! His self hating attitude is starting to really piss me off! He needs to stop living in the past. He says he's afraid of being alone, but honestly, why? It means there is no one there to hurt you emotionally or physically. I've come to quite like it, but then again, I've pretty much always been alone. By the end of our argument, I just stopped. I told him I was done arguing about it. I gave up.
I just needed to write out my feelings. This just bothered me because he is a really good friend, and his attitude worries me. I don't want to see him hurt himself again. I don't know what to say to his constant negativity anymore. I have always argued about it with him and after a while he would give up and finally accept that he isn't a bad person like he thinks, but lately he won't even budge in his attitude.