Welcome to Gaia! ::

I know why you're shaking, and have a fair idea how hard it hit you.

My evil side would say use this to try and leverage a better settlement out of him.

The rest of me just wants to take a road trip with a shovel, machete, and a few household chemicals.

Good thing I do not have the car tonight, most likely.

********. I'd draw out the paperwork now and let him look like the ******** a*****e. jfc

Would Michigan be out of the way and if so would you mind taking a detour anyway?

I would very much like to help.

I hear you. I'm terrified of how this is going to affect the kids and their support.

He's an arrogant piece of s**t, and she's a naive piece of s**t if she thinks he is going to treat her any ******** better than he treated you just because she is pregnant with his child.

When does it ever end?

I have to kinda incline myself to what Chino said. It could really go either way though. They could either think it's exciting, or resent the new baby.

Not in a good place guys.

My mother keeps telling me I have no help because I turned my back on God. I just yell at her. It's cool.

My grandmother though...she who has never said an unkind word to me. She who tells me that my mother took her baby away when she moved. She told me "You can't expect anything else when you serve Satan".

I am going to have to drop out of school the end of this week. I cannot afford the childcare.

I have nothing left but three kids who are confused, but hate me. My son asked me "How's it feel to know you are a failure as a mother" last week.

Tonight I came to work to find I was placed on one to one care. Meaning just me and one patient in their room waiting to see if they wake up and become crazy I told them I couldn't do a one to one tonight. They told me to suck it up basically. I was a little rude about it, I admit. But I work when I'm upset. I avoid my problems by throwing myself into patient care and the idea that I was going to be stuck alone in a dark room all night with a sleeping patient and my thoughts snapped something in me. I went outside and paced the parking lot a few times and when I couldn't stop hyperventilating I left. I just got in my car and drove off. I've never done that before.

My supervisor called me and convinced me to come back. I know I am in trouble with HR. I was an hour and a half late. I just didn't care if I lost my job at that moment. Being unemployed is not going to put me in any worse of a financial situation than I already am.

I don't know why I even care. I don't know why my friends laugh when I tell them and say "sucks to be him". I know his child support will now be split between four children instead of 3. I know I am losing more money again.

And his sister pays his rent. And his other sister buys him food. I'm not sure what he actually pays for. Probably his car.

I just...

I can't. keep. going. like. this.

Religious people are ******** TERRIBLE PEOPLE OMFG.

I am so angry for you.

Your kids don't mean anything they're saying right now. I mean, they think they do, but...You have to try not to let it bother you. I know it hurts. They want it to. They're not thinking about your feelings - as kids almost always do.

You will find a way. You'll make it be okay. Things won't always be this shitty forever. And you have people who care about you, even when it seems like your own family doesn't. There's always someone. Even if it's just on the internet. <3