Is anyone online right now?

[Wisdom Chyck]

I'd like someone to talk to...

 

[Wisdom Chyck]

Hmm. Well, it is 2am.
Ugh, I'm gonna go take an advil and try to sleep.

 

[Akky the Terrible]

I'm here kinda, still painting my room.

 

[Arianah]

Sorry I missed this. You ok?  

[LOL shutterBUG]

I'm here now!
Are you okay?  

[Wisdom Chyck]

Sorry guys! I know I kinda disappeared for a bit there.
It's a long story, so I'll post again in a few minutes so brb

 

[Wisdom Chyck]

H'okay, I can't be arsed to format so here goes:

On Thursday (September 12th) and 5:15pm, my mom died. She was fighting cancer in the gall bladder and liver and it's a really nasty cancer. Very aggressive... hard to treat... she did chemo but it wasn't helping (in fact it was making things worse) so she stopped that and well... she was in a lot of pain, a LOT of pain and basically we just tried to manage that pain with meds. Then it came to the point where she was violently ill (throwing up I mean) and we brought her to the ER where they decided it best for her to stay in the palliative care centre at the hospital. Bless the nurses, they did everything they could to make mom comfortable and to try and figure out the best combo/cocktail/formula/recipe/however-you-wanna-call-it of meds but... well, she just couldn't take it anymore.

*sigh* My two aunts who live here in Canada (mom's sisters) were here when she died. They each held one of her hands and she went quietly. My sister kept crying saying she was only gone for a few minutes, but how was she to know? I think... maybe mom was waiting for the right moment to go. I think she didn't want her kids (myself, my sister and my brother) to see her go, but she did want her sisters to be there together with her when she went.

Today was the visitation at the funeral home. Longest three hours of my life, holy s**t... ugh. So many people came, SO many! I had no idea who half of them were, but just the fact that so many people came for us and for mom made me happy. Tomorrow is the burial and I've gotta get up early for it (ugh... I'm so not a morning person) I just hope it doesn't rain tomorrow. God, wouldn't that be so cliché? It's raining now actually so I think I'm gonna bring an umbrella just in case.

Oh yeah and I was in a car accident yesterday. Like I didn't have enough s**t on my plate, eh?? My fiancee, my aunt and uncle and I decided to go to Costco to get a bunch of stuff and as we were leaving, my uncle was making a left and some dumbass T-boned us on the left side. We're all okay, no broken bones or anything, but I think my uncle and I were hit the worst. He got the brunt of the blow (plus the airbag) and I scraped my arm and beaned my head against the door. Got me a nice goose egg on my noggin. It only hurts if I touch it (lol) but I'm definitely going to go for another check-up with my family doctor later.

The other driver had to have been younger than me or somewhere in my age range because he didn't look that old. He did look extremely upset like he didn't even know how this happened. In fact, one of the first things I asked him was if he was okay (the next was his name of course) Needless to say, my uncle's van is a total write-off (I ended up losing my phone in the chaos, but I got it back so no worries there) and we weren't going fast at all. I think if we were going any faster, that guy might've hit the gas tank and that would've been way worse. The paramedics showed up pretty much immediately and checked us over. My poor aunt was... well she's kinda crazy-go-nuts to begin with, but with my mom dying and then this freak accident, she was in hysterics! And I had to go with her to the hospital and I had to deal with said hysterics for over half an hour all by myself. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh... I love my aunt, don't get me wrong, but I cannot deal with her drama.

So yeah... that's how my weekend has been. And this s**t-storm still isn't over. I still need to give the funeral home all the legal info like mom's SIN card etc. and then there's the long and arduous task of doing stuff like closing her bank account and going through her belongings, but I don't plan on doing the latter for a loooooooong time. I'm ******** exhausted, I'm ******** depressed, and yet I have to be the strong one and keep s**t together despite being the youngest of the family. Seriously, wtf yo.

TL;DR
My mom died on Thrusday, I got into a car accident on Saturday, life is being a b***h and I tender my resignation as an adult kthxbai  

[Undecidability]

Yo, I don't know if you were around when it happened, but my dad died in March. I'm here if you want to talk about how much cancer sucks.  

[Wisdom Chyck]

Undecidability

Yo, I don't know if you were around when it happened, but my dad died in March. I'm here if you want to talk about how much cancer sucks.

Aw thanks kiddo <3 I don't remember if I was around, but I feel ya. Cancer blows chunks.

 

[chinotenshi]

I have nothing to offer but hugs and my sympathy. ;_;

*hugs*  

[Arianah]

Sweets, my heart just aches for your right now. I went through all of this with Craig's dad. It is so hard watching them in pain and hoping they find a way to get them comfortable. I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I'm sorry you've had extra stress to deal with on top of grieving.

This first year is the toughest. The year of firsts, but you get through each one. It slowly becomes easier. And one day you wake up and notice that you've been breathing again for a while. It's subtle, like a whisper, but it does happen. You will remember her and smile instead of relive the pain. You will think of her and feel at peace.

I am here if you need to talk. Feel free to PM me if you need to. I'm always able to be reached that way.

Lots of hugs to you right now. You are in my thoughts.