Welcome to Gaia! ::

My mother blew the ******** up, apparently.
I guess she was smoking and her oxygen tank caught fire.
She's in the burn ward with 3rd degree burns and a breathing tube.

My main concern is really how poorly my aunt was typing, I had to ask her like four different times to repeat herself.

I still can't even figure out what hospital she's trying to tell me.
All I knows is:
fesheeeeeeeew

I sure as ******** don't.

Because she's a ******** moron.
OK THE BRIEF VERSION:
She was a massive drug-addict and prostitute, got pregnant with me at 16 while on mescaline in a van.
Despite almost dying multiple times due to her work and addictions she continued to pop out children, resulting in my three brothers.
Also married a member of the Latin Counts, etc.
Various abuse, whatever.
She lost the rights to my brothers, but not to me due to this weird loophole in which I was handed off to my equally s**t father and not put in the system.
After some years and getting clean she managed to get me back, got some awards for helping recovering addicts, it was rad.
Then she randomly vanished for three weeks with the rent money.
Turns out she wanted some heroin.
All of the heroin.
So she came back, her boyfriend agreed to let her and my grandfather live with him.
Her parting words to me:
"Have fun being homeless."

About a year later she popped up again, her boyfriend had left her, she wasn't allowed to contact my brothers, so she begged me to come stay with her.
This was when I was gearing up to go to college and had a job lined up.
Also she'd just been diagnosed with Hep C I think and wanted me to live with her, away from my friends and girlfriend, for a year.
One of my duties would have included wiping up after her when she shat herself, putting me at risk to contract the disease as well.

tl;dr: srsly ******** that

Ha!
Also my father is a convicted ***** and was wanted by the FBI for running cocaine.
To be fair without all that s**t I wouldn't be who I am now, so I'm not complaining.
Just more amused when people, especially that side of the family, are expecting me to come rushing to her side.

That looks familiar, what is it from?

Also ******** running away. I am laughing and also had I been able to contact the agent that contact my youngest sister I'd have gladly gotten a paid trip to Kentucky and then gotten paid to rat my dad out.
It would have been rad.

xD Well I mean right now I live with two friends, have a pretty awesome ladyfriend, and have two jobs being handed to me, so not really in a shitty situation.

Well, I thought my childhood sucked. Your mom wins the shitiest parent of the year award...maybe the lifetime achievement award.