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 Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:26 pm
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 She wasn't sure what she was expecting anymore from the world. She kept telling herself she was done. That she didn't need things from the world as long as she had Yasashii. She had told herself countless times that she didn't need to dream anymore. What was there to dream of? She had a job, she had a task, and she was a part of a group. She wasn't Amy. She wasn't an individual. She was part of a group, and she had given up any identity.
Or, so she had thought.
It had been easy before. When Karoko left it had been far too easy to grow numb to the core. Her heart had shattered, tapping the ground and echoing crystalline rings throughout the air as she had collapsed into herself. Karoko. He had been her world. He had been the one who knelt down to her level and extended his hand when the world seemed so black. His touch had calmed her pounding heart. His kisses had soothed the fear that had begun to twitch and snap inside her stomach. His promises assured her she was indeed needed.
And then he just left. Like the men before him. Like anyone she had ever reached out to. He was another repeat. Another man who was good to her at first, and then let go of her hand and walked into a fog she couldn't stumble through. She had, again, been abandoned, and yet why had it hurt so much? She knew everyone would leave. She knew everyone was a liar.
So, it had been easy to shut down. It had been far too easy to smile and shake her head when people questioned. The lies were something natural at that point. She was fine, of course. No, she didn't need help. Yes, she didn't hurt. Her answers were lies, and she had been so content that way. Yet... yet she hadn't, had she? It hurt, didn't it? It hurt when she had to lie, and hurt when her heart lost more and more shards as she smelled snow and felt the cold, a horrible reminder of events promised to her by Karoko.
So why was her heart beating?
She hadn't felt it's pulse in so long. It had hardened, become stone as she lost any feeling inside her. She played the game well, but behind her words were an indifference. She had stopped caring. She had stopped loving. She had given up on the world as it gave up on her. Warm was cold. Pain was numb. It had been so damn easy, and then he decided to step in, bringing his warmth and life that she feared so greatly.
Iah. It had been him who offered his friendship. It had been him who didn't shy away from her troubles. Hell, he had enough of his own at the time. He had been dealing with his own issues, and yet the male had enough time for her. It had been just that at first, a friendship she wasn't sure she was ready to give. But she did. She began to seek him, as if his warmth could heal and his words could repair what had been shattered. And it did. With each meeting she felt a familiar twitch in her chest. She felt a warmth as her mouth formed an old expression. She ached in her throat as a strange, happy, bright sound began to leave it more and more, and it was because of Iah.
And now, her heart was beating rapidly. It shook, trembled here and there from the damage done to it, but it was alive. Things began to hurt. Heat began to burn. The world felt like it shimmered with life, and despite her lack of eyesight she could almost feel the light. Was that pathetic of her? Was she a fool to, again, find her heart longing for another? How many times had this happened? How many times had her heart been shattered, glued back together, and broken again? How many times could she collapse before she'd eventually never get back up again?
The rain was cold. It pierced her skin, but she didn't move. It felt odd, honestly, to feel again. She wanted to feel the harsh cold of the rain. She wanted to feel the cold river against her hand. She wanted to feel it all, and quickly, because surely her heart would break again and she'd lose it all once more. She'd lose everything and become that hollow shell she was familiar being.
Until then, though, she wanted to feel the rain. She wanted to feel the water against her hand and accept her pounding heart. She wanted to dream. She wanted to wish. She wanted to let this feeling flicker before it went out. She knew it would. She knew Iah would never accept her. Not that way. Not the way she had started to want. He was too good of a man, with too many options. She was just a broken little wretch, but that wouldn't stop her from hoping. Just for a little longer... Only a little longer.
She'd let it all go away soon. She just needed a little longer...
Word Count: 843 |
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Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 2:18 pm
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The world moved on no matter what happened to your life. Iah was starting to understand that there where bad days where everything just fell on you, and there where wonderful days. He had been such a shy uncertain boy that no one ever seemed to like and always bullied because Iah was a bit weird. Then after almost accepting that this was all there was going to be he had met this tribe, and gotten to know what happiness was, what friendship was, and how to help others.
He wondered what else he was going to be in store for, mostly towards his friends if anything. He was glad that Embry had managed to find someone to love, as she had been really good friends with him for a while. She even had her own kids by now which he was glad for embry had always loved children. He hoped the same would happen for Kithara since his elder had also been a supportive friend and she had lost her mate recently. Finally there was amy, his dearest and quickly becoming most special friend.
She had been through so much, two lost mates and a couple crushes that had led to nowhere. He was always impressed that she always got back up after a while and moved on. He knew it wasn’t without its toll though so he stayed as an important and dependable friend that would always have her back. He hadn’t let any emotions or feelings surface at least consciously. If he thought about it he would quickly find that he loved a lot of things about her.
She was very curious and he loved just sitting talking with her, and while some times they hit a conversation barrier due to Iah being able to see, he didn’t mind at all, she was able to do so many other things that he couldn’t. she was also very kind and sweet and charming and he truly wished that one day she would get a happy ending.
Iah finally looked up at the rain having been out in the storm, he had been working on his magic, since Voltaire never seemed to be around and things with champaigne where still unclear. So in short he had to make sure while he was the only one that he was up to par and ready to help any one that needed his help.
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Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:20 am
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Amy could feel her heart pounding as she touched the water. The storm wasn't kind, and she should probably find shelter. She had a job to do, and she was the most experienced on the team.
Most experienced?
The little voice in the back of her mind giggled, almost amused. Her? Experienced? She never even had a damn child, where was she going on about being experienced? She couldn't even hold a mate.... That last part caused her head to jerk to the side, paw leaving the water as she moved away from the water. She was a blind fool, and Amy was done criticizing herself for now. She'd get herself nowhere if she continued, and nowhere was fast coming.
She needed shelter, and so the woman lifted herself and directed her body back to the tribe. Storms were difficult for the blind vixen. She was graceful and quick, but now? In the storm? It ruined her senses. It made it almost impossible to sniff out the flower patch near her tribe, or to find solid landmarks. The vixen shouldn't have gone out, she realized, and quickly she regretted her choices. She'd need to find shelter for now, and it was awfully hard when you couldn't see.....
Ah.
Her paw hit an empty log and, without much fussing, the vixen squirmed into the log, closing her eyes and covering her ears as best as she could. She wanted to forget the sounds outside. Focus on something, anything.
Focus on him.
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 5:40 pm
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 9:29 pm
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Amy squirmed within her log, trying to get comfortable as the drenched wood pressed against her sides. The stormed raged, leaving the blind vixen helpless. She didn't like feeling helpless. She was far too old for this. Then again, did it matter? Did her being trapped in a storm matter? If she died would anyone notice? Her tribe would, yes, but eventually they would move on. This situation wasn't the worst. It could be someone else trapped, someone who mattered.
Someone like Iah.
A soft sigh escaped the wet vixen, head resting against paws. Was he okay? Surely he fled back to the tribe when the rain arrived. He was safe and dry somewhere, ri-
"AMY!"
Her ears flicked upwards, head snapping up and colliding against the top of the log, causing a sharp gasp of pain. That was a voice she knew, storm or not! Iah! Squirming out of the log and almost tripping headfirst, the vixen cringed against the mud, terrified of the screams of wind around her. Storms had always terrified her, and now that she was caught in one?
But that didn't matter. Iah was here, and he was looking for her. That wasn't good. He needed to go home. People waited for him. The tribe needed him. They didn't need her, the damaged blind one. They needed the healthy and smart Shaman!
"Iah?" Perhaps her voice was too soft, but it was all she could muster through the absolute panic that ravaged through her heart. Where was he?
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