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 Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 11:33 pm
♡Introduction♡
Before we begin, lets get one thing straight: I am, by no means, a guru of any kind. I do not have all of the answers, nor am I always right. I won't claim to be the "wise owl" because, at the age of 17, going on 18, there are still things that even I need to learn. That being said, I am also not a fool. I have experienced things, done things and have talked to quite a few friends and have heard their experiences.
I've been told that I give good advice and that I have the gift of comforting and consoling others. It is a fact that I am highly sensitive, so I believe that this plays a part in things as well. And because of this, and because of the little things that I have experienced in my short lifetime, I have decided to create a little section for the sole purpose of helping and consoling others the best way that I possibly can.
Whether you're in need of a second opinion before you make that big decision, or you're seeking advice on what to do when your boyfriend seems cold and distant, or you're just looking for some encouraging words when you're feeling lower than low, do not hesitate to read onwards and ask questions.
I am open-minded and I am not quick to judge, and I hope more than anything that, "Peya's Take: Life, Love and Other Things" will prove to become a safe haven for anyone who has found their way to this little corner of this forum.
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♡Chapter 1: Long Distance Relationships♡
What comes to your mind when you hear those three words? Perhaps you think about two people who met online and fell in love in spite of living in two totally different parts of the world. Or maybe you think of a someone moving far, far away from their sweetheart with only the comfort of phone calls and/or Skype to look forward to. But no matter how you look at long distance relationships, one fact will always remain the same:
LDRs are NOT ALWAYS EASY.
In fact, they tend to be even harder to deal with than normal, typical relationships in which participants can see each other face to face. Why? It's because it is in our human nature to crave and desire physical contact, sexual or not, with the people we love the most. Add that to other factors like different timezones, clashing schedules and the inability to see and know what your loved one is doing at all times, and it's no wonder that people stress and sweat over the distance.
But all hope is not lost.
It IS possible to have a healthy, happy and rewarding relationship with someone who is, at the moment, far away from you. It will just take a bit of time, a lot of patience, and even more trust in order to do so. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
So while you're waiting to be (re)united with your prince or princess, here are some things to keep in mind to make the entire process a lot easier to cope with:
Keep the line of communication OPEN.
Whereas this is already an important factor for ANY relationship, it is even MORE important in a long distance relationship. Phone calls, texting, Skype and yes, even letter writing, are all great ways to keep in touch.
Keep your significant other updated on as much about your life as possible. Let them know how much you miss them and/or want to see them and that you think of them often. And be sure to be open and honest with each other in order to avoid misunderstandings and suspicions from arising. Which brings us to the next point...
Do not jump to conclusions.
It's okay to admit it. We've all done it at some point in time. Of course it's only natural to wonder from time to time where our sweetheart is, what they're doing, and with whom. But this can also become a problem if you allow your mind to run wild with different kinds of crazy scenarios.
As much as you may not like it, the fact is that you won't always be able to keep tabs on your boyfriend or girlfriend. And even if you could, doing so would inevitably make them feel smothered, uncomfortable and resentful towards you as it is a blatant sign that you don't trust them.
And as hard as it might be, if you're willing to even be in a relationship with this person in the first place, then you must also be willing to trust that they love you enough and care about you enough to keep themselves as far away as possible from situations that could compromise said relationship.
You must realise and accept the fact that while they are dating YOU, they still have the right to have friendships with other people, even if those other people happen to be members of the opposite sex. Within reason, of course. That being said, I would advise you to also...
Keep Yourself Busy.
Don't just sit next to the phone, waiting for it to ring! Indulge yourself in your favorite hobbies! Go for a walk, call up a friend and arrange a day out, spend time with your family, read your favorite book, play some video games, or pig out on your favorite snack foods while watching a marathon of that TV show you love so much.
Do something for yourself, and get on with your life, because chances are that your significant other is doing the same.
It's a lot more healthy and a lot more enjoyable than just moping around while you wait for them to get online and aside from that, keeping busy will give you some great topics to discuss the next time you two find the time to talk.
You may not believe it, but it's true what they say: "Time flies when you're having fun."
Make time for each other.
Of course, you don't want to have so much fun that you FORGET about your boo (as if you could). So sit down, and work out a schedule that will work well for the both of you that consists of some quality alone time.
If you're both into gaming, then arrange to play an online game with each other. Make a movie night and pick out the same DVD and watch it at the same time. Or simply take the time out to talk and laugh together.
It might sound a little silly, but you'd be amazed at how little things like these can draw the two of you closer in spite of the distance. But what if the two of you want something more than a late night movie or an mmorpg? What if you're looking to ignite a bit of a spark?
Long Distance Teasing and Pleasing
Okay, calm down. I'm not going to suggest that you go crazy and send an X-rated video or picture of yourself. But if you're looking to spice things up a little, then a few naughty phone calls at night won't hurt. Tease each other with flirtatious and seductive conversations and text messages. Learn what the other likes and dislikes, what their kinks and desires are and act accordingly.
Of course, there's always a line to be drawn. If anything that your partner suggests makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, then let them know. If they love you, they'll understand and they won't push you beyond your comfort zone.
I will be posting another entry that goes into more detail about how to please your loved one over the phone at another time. But for now, I'll leave you with one last piece of advice.
BE PATIENT.
Often times, long distance relationships do not stay long distance relationships forever. Eventually, the couple WILL arrange a meeting with each other face to face. And the same could very well happen for you and your lover if you both want to be together badly enough.
But the days up until that point in time often seem to drag on forever. For every X that you add to your calendar, another date seems to appear. You might feel discouraged, lonely and fearful at times that being with the one you love will always remain just a far away dream. An intangible goal that is completely out of your reach.
It's true that the road is sometimes long and often filled with struggles. But true love and patience can overcome any obstacle thrown at them by time and distance. Keep that always in mind and always in heart. And when you find yourself wrapped in the embrace of the one you love after so long, I promise I won't say,
"I told you so."
Good luck and well wishes from me to you. heart
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Have anymore questions? I've got answers.
PM me any time or leave a comment below, and your question might just end up in the next chapter of "Peya's Take: Life, Love and Other Things."
See you then!
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