Transgender/ Societal Labels

[SylverStar]

So this may be a weird question. I'm not really sure how these things are viewed and have never really considered myself part of the LGBT community, so I hope I don't offend anyone with my lack of knowledge.

A couple of recent threads on gaia have gotten me thinking about my own gender again. Mostly I don't pay much attention to me being more masculine than feminine. I'm pretty comfortable with who I am and am not big on labeling my gender.

What I am starting to realize or maybe realizing again, is that it is usually other people who comment on how I act like a guy or seem masculine. I have also been mistaken for being gay when I'm almost as heterosexual as one can get.

So I guess one of my question is the transgender label something that one puts on themselves or can you also be labeled that by society?  

[AmeliaParadox]

Can of worms there,

Both, if you don't "pass" as "normal" society will label you as that or more offensive versions of the word.

I prefer generally, if you identify as male you are a male and female a female etc, but some trans people like to identify as trans.

cat_burning_eyes  

[OceaNova]

There's several terms to identify people that don't comply with gender binary. For example, I am a transgender woman but I am female: Legally, physically and mentally. I never hide and say I'm biologically female, but I will be respected as a woman and nothing less.
Then there's trans*, which is an umbrella term that includes everyone that doesn't belong on a strong side of the binary bullshit. Genderfluid, queer, agender, transgender and transsexual are all included in the word trans*.  

[Taeryyn]

(Hopefully I'm understanding the question correctly.)
I don't think anyone other than you can decide whether or not you're transgender. I mean, someone might think or say that you're gay or trans, but if you don't feel that way about yourself, then you're not.  

[KarenGreen]

Label me as you wish, I label myself as a transsexual.

I'd rather be a girl, than be a boy any day.

At work, I'm regarded as "Jo", although many people think it's "Joe". Many, though, know it's Jo without the e, and many understand why. They may think I'm gay, or different, but they respect me highly for what I am at work (quality control specialist).

A person is allowed to label themselves as they wish. It is only fair. I'd love to identify as a girl, but I can't, I don't have that distinction.  

[Saint Sims]

Labels are just that, societal "inventions" created for the purpose of categorizing and attempting to "make sense" of the world.

Generally speaking, I see labels as marginalizing and more often used to deprecate others.

If you take a step back and analyze your own perspective, how often do you put a label on someone?

I do it all of the time, it's a rather nasty habit and one I've, and will continue to, try to break.

Now just because you label someone as something, is it necessarily true?

You might regard it as a truth but "truth" is a matter of perspective; everyone maintains their own truths.

You really can't allow other people to dictate who you are. No matter who or what someone tries to tell you you are, you are only what you choose to be.

I think it's a matter of mentality almost. If people are constantly calling you pretty, you regard yourself as pretty. For others, people who constantly tell them they're an idiot or they're dumb, after a while they begin to believe that's who they are.

So ultimately, society plays a role in determining who we are as individuals HOWEVER, we will always be in control of who we are. Society can try as hard as it might to dictate to you who you are but regardless, you're only who you choose to be.

 

[SylverStar]

I have always been found of labels in general because of the easy categorization...but agree that it is usually a quick judgement and only superficial until more evidence is given.

After thinking more on this;

Gender labels seem to partly be based on behavior/looks which is expressed outwardly to society. I think people can pick those cues up and see someone does not fit the social norm for their gender. For example, I feel this is what "gaydar" does. I don't think people are really picking up on if someone is gay or not but if they fit typical gender roles/or express certain behavioral cues.

I feel a person can be unaware of the cues/behavior they express especially if they are not consciously trying to act a certain way and others may be able to see it better from an outside perspective.

Now saying that I agree I don't think others should be allowed to peg you in a hole especially if you are not comfortable with it. However I think others perception can give you insight into yourself.  

[Prince Leviathan]

I definitely agree with the fact that others give you insight to yourself; that's how I figured out that I was a transmale. It hadn't even occurred to me until recently, but I also had never been exposed to it or considered it an option. I was raised in a household where there was only one way to be, and that one way was being a heterosexual, cisgendered, well-studied person. I wasn't even aware that there were deviations from this until junior high school when a few of my friends came out as being lesbians and then began dating, and it completely blew my mind. Now in college, I'm in a liberal arts school where... well, most people try to accept that I'm transgender, but not a lot of people remember to use the correct pronouns.

I don't think it's a question of a label that you're going for, to be honest. I thought that about myself, too, but when it came down to it, finding out that I was a man made me understand myself that much more and generally made me a happier, more confident person. I think if you just research it a little more, maybe on Wikipedia or something of the like, then you can gather enough information on what you may see that fits you the best of the options "given" and see if they may apply to you after further digging.  

[Nerdodactyl]

There are so many sides to gender it is really difficult to really understand what it actually is, most people in society are either cis-male or cis-female (born in a male body and define them selves as male or the same thing instead with female) there is also the trans* end of the spectrum, there is intersex as well as people who define themselves as being gender queer or having a fluid gender (with gender queer being more of a neutral grey area and fluid being you are what you feel like). In most cases it is best to just stick with male or female because once you start throwing in other terms that some people have never heard about then people start getting confused and start being judgemental.
In my opinion I think that a person's gender is their own business and unless that person is a part of my life then I'm just going to treat it neutrally. The use of gender neutral pronouns is a great practice, such as "Ya'll" "folks" "people" because then you don't run the risk of getting a person's gender wrong because you assumed what it was. If a person is just a stranger it is good to stay neutral but if you make a new friend it might be good to find out what their preferred pronouns are so that you don't accidentally use the wrong ones and offend them. When it comes to pronouns using the wrong ones can be offensive and hurt the feelings of people who do not define themselves as cis-gendered.  

[AmeliaParadox]

Bla bla bla bla, do you people even read what each other say?

saying the same stuff again and again.

*quote* then "I agree"  

[AmeliaParadox]

you know what, I'm sorry, I understand people are passionate about this kinda stuff.

it's just everyone agrees on most things regarding this topic, so its only minor little details people get hung up on. all on the same team though really, in the end.  

[Nerdodactyl]

tbh I did TL;DR all the other posts and then after making mine I was like hmmm that is probably gonna be TL;DR....then connected the dots of everything being TL;DR must mean it's all somewhat the same then I read it all and was like, "Hmmm...haha". Who cares if we all have the same opinion, doesn't hurt to share it.  

[Taeryyn]

Personally, I would rather not see a thread with 2 or 3 actual posts, followed by a a stream of posts that just say "I agree". The fact that everyone is essentially on the same side is not a reason to avoid posting.  

[BSPBleach]

lol i actually read all the posts. no tl;dr here xD

but! i just wanted to say that im a female through and through even though people say i act like a guy all the time. and maybe dress like one lol.
doesn't make you trans though. unless you let it razz
a lot of people assume things but even if everyone in the world tells you you're trans, it's a state of mind and thus only you can really make yourself trans.