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 Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 3:35 pm
Well, he sent it to everyone on my team. But he thinks that our team is having problems, and he wants to have a meeting with us. He asked us to think of one thing that we might have done to "erode trust" with our other team members, and one thing that someone had done to us to "erode trust."
My team was talking about it today, and we all agreed that he's way off; we don't have trust problems, we just have problems getting stuff done because we don't know what's expected of us.
However, I did think of a time when one of my team members said something pretty rude to me- she said I didn't seem like a nurturing person and that teaching didn't seem like the right career for me. That stung and I've never looked at her the same way after she said that to me, but I've largely moved on.
But now that we're having this meeting, it seems like a good time to bring it up- except for the fact that we're otherwise in agreement that we don't want to point fingers and blame each other. So I'm not sure what to do, because I feel like what my team member said to me was outrageously rude (especially for how little time she'd known me) but I also don't want to be the only one who has anything like that to say, especially since it happened so long ago.
Being professional is hard. :c But I think I'm going to not say anything about it, because I don't think it would do any good.
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Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 7:09 pm
My guess is you have chosen the best course of action. Sometimes I am not the greatest guesser though.
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Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 4:45 am
you should've been all,
"peace in the middle east son i'm out like sauerkraut BOY BYE"
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Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 9:09 am
If you're afraid of doing it in the group, you should probably just talk to her straight up. Maybe you even took it more harshly than she meant it - who knows? But if it's something that still bothers you and you feel strange bringing it up to everyone, maybe just with her is the way to do it.
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Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 4:48 pm
More than anything, I wish I had said something to her closer to when it actually happened. I feel like by now, she's probably forgotten she even said it and I just feel like it's not useful to say "hey you said a rude thing and it made me dislike you but I like you a little bit more by now"
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Posted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 6:27 pm
Well you could bring it up a bit differently and be like "Hey I know it happened a long time ago, maybe you don't even remember, but you said X to me once and it actually still really bothers me sometimes."
Like IDK you could maybe work it out, you know?
But if you don't think it's that big of a deal then eh, whatev.
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Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 5:13 am
I had a coworker do something like that to me and it stung. However she was much younger than me and I was all "you are a child twit". In my mind anyway. I didn't say anything at the time, but it bothered me. Later when we were both in trouble for joking around too much we started to bond and eventually I was all...dude you were such a douche back then. And she was all "really?" and I was all "yeah" and we laughed about it and were able to move on. I wouldn't address it in the group, but if it's still bugging you, I'd probably pull her aside and say, there was little constructive about your criticism and I'm not sure if this is what the boss was meaning or not, but I figured we'd probably do good to see if we can work it out.
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