- Sometimes I just hate my husband
All he does is sit on his arse all day playing ******** videogames, console or PC
which would be fine if he also worked, or did school work, and played them to relax like I do
he does some stuff around the house, which is fine. great. but it's not even our house
we are living with his parents until we get back up on our feet, helping them remodel their home's basement
I was let go from my job about a month ago and we moved over the mountains for a "new start" (husband promised he'd work harder at school & find a part time job)
we've living on our savings, and our rent is helping pay for utilities and groceries
he says we'll only be here a few months. that he'll get done with his online school and get a job
he was working on an assembly line and as a busser before we moved. he injured his shoulder and they paid for his doctor's visits. his doctor recommended that he not do any repetitive physical work for awhile so he won't permanently damage the shoulder, but he isn't disabled. he used that as an excuse to quit both of his jobs
he's going for his pharmacy tech license online. says that's the only sort of job he can work because he doesn't want to risk getting inured again (it's not he was ******** hospitalized or on medication for ******** sake.) like he couldn't possibly manage a retail/cashier position.
but he never does school work. EVER. we've been here for over three weeks and he goes, oh I haven't studied because you packed away my notes. he knows where they are, too, but is too lazy to get them out himself. he's read out of his books once or twice in over a month, maybe more.
apparently my "attitude" needs to change before he will do anything for me or anyone else. he won't finish school and get a job because I'm (and his parents) not nice enough to him, and don't encourage him at all. ok, yeah, I'm not like the nicest ******** person in the world but I'm not an abusive spouse! ********, I like to give blow jobs. totally TMI but. what. the. ********. maybe I should find a productive husband that can appreciate a decently attractive woman.
I just got a full time job at a call center and will make a decent amount of money, plus I'll be in school full time in the spring (otherwise I wouldn't be registered for enough credits to earn a grant or scholarships, which is fine because I like school and am excited to back to college.) So now he's talking about buying a new phone and more videogames, even though I would rather move out and have a place of our own.
How can he (and his mother) expect me to WANT to raise a family with him? He never does anything for anyone else. It's all about him and how he feels and how everyone else makes him feel.
He never does anything to help out around the house (besides lifting and carrying stuff, which his disabled dad has to ask for him to do over and over before he'll help.) Anything. And says he's always picking up after me, which is bullshit. I make dinner a good deal of the time, grocery shop, drive us everywhere, actually get out of the house to go to the library and book store and shops to meet people. I dealt with the crazy b***h of a case worker when I was trying to get the entire household food stamps & medical coverage (which didn't work, as I'm young and she treated me like an incompetent child.)
He won't even look for part time work to help out with paying the bills (which he "pays" for, even though most are automated) & food that everyone buys and prepares for him. I can't imagine raising a family. I am certain he will teach our children that it's OK to spend half the day playing videogames and letting everyone else do everything for you, and that you can't own up to your own faults and mistakes. That it's OK to blame everyone else for your own shortcomings, that you it's OK to live off someone else's charity.
His parents are not well off, at all. Like I mentioned before his dad is disabled and receives a small monthly check. His mom is out of work and they're living off savings as well. It's a miracle we're not out homeless on the streets, and I am grateful for that. But "for richer or poorer" doesn't give him an excuse to be complacent with being poor and not putting his all into providing for his family! I have worked so hard everyday to land a decent job and earn financial aid. I have a huge drive to succeed; I could be single and having fun with roommates that actually act their age, that have enough disposable money to go out for drinks once in awhile.
It is horrible living with him. He acts like I'm supposed to just want sex with him even though half the time I'm unhappy and stressed out with worry. Like I'm supposed to have this magical "attitude change." Maybe if you put some kind of effort to be romantic (I hate that term and expression as a whole, but I can't think of any other way to put it) instead of awkwardly patting around or sitting there asking like it was the same as going for a stroll around the block. Maybe if you got things done and made me feel special and wanted and worth fighting for then I would be the one initiating, but I don't feel any of those things. He basically says that I shouldn't feel entitled to feeling that way at all. That I have to earn it! That I have to EARN him doing anything for us.
Yeah, well, ******** you. I don't tell him that there are tons of guys out there that DO flirt with me. I have been given numbers while out grocery shopping, I'm not ******** making this s**t up. I tell them I'm married and they are damn visibly dissapointed. Some women, too. I'm not drop dead gorgeous (he makes sure that I'm aware of it) but I am not unattractive. I do have a great personality, too, but he makes me so unhappy and feel so unloved and undeserving that it doesn't show up as much at home. I am an intelligent hard worker (maybe not so much with cleaning up at home but I meet deadlines and finish assignments to the best of my ability.) I am actually diligent and fun to be around. Once I'm comfortable I'm funny/snarky as hell, but it's so tense and dreary at his house, around his grouchy old folks, that I never get to show off that side of me.
I can see why some women marry into the military. I couldn't do it, I'd fret too much and be miserable alone, but those guys usually work hard to protect and provide for their families. But I hate hearing women go on and on and on about their husbands working too much or not being home enough. He's out there working his a** off so you can sit on yours all day "watching" the kids. Well, guess what, I probably will never be able to have children or if I do I will never have a place to really call HOME because we won't be able to afford it.
I have cash in my purse, wedding gift cards, & a 200 dollar check from my parents to help tide us over. I am sorely tempted to pack my bags, find a roommate and move closer to work & school (it's an hour to two hour commute for me everyday.) I could afford to do so and he can spend the rest of his life playing videogames and bitching about dinner in his parents' basement, pretending he will "one day" amount to something more than a fat a** washed out loser.
[/RANT]
