[Auto-Exam] Lou C. Ferre - House of Horrors [FIN]

[Sexy Cocaine]

Lou barely believed that he had somehow made enough progress in his lazying about to constitute a progression from Y1 to Y2, but there it was. A note on his door inviting him to take some silly test. Could they not have figured out a better name for it? Oh well. At least it was a test that one could seemingly take on their own terms. That was nice.

There was almost a desire to procrastinate just for that reason, but the boil considered how potentially proud a certain mermaid might be of him and it made him reconsider. What potential rewards could he accrue if he surprised her?

Mmmm.

Whelp, time to go take the exam!  

[Sexy Cocaine]

The vampire marched his sexy little butt up to the dilapidated looking building, his eyes searching around before they finally rested on it.

Really? This was the place? Maybe this exam was less of the school variety and more of the examining of organs to ship them off to some black market.

Still, it was nothing he couldn't handle. His hand turned the knob cautiously, peering into the empty house before marching himself inside. For all of it's shortcomings, it at least smelled warm and cozy.

A glance back over his shoulder revealed that there would be no going back that way. The door was fully shut. Now the fun begins.

Lou looked through the kitchen curiously, wondering if there had been a time when this house was populated, when SPLOOSH.

Chocolate?

... He wasn't about to taste it to find out.
Steps: 2  

[Sexy Cocaine]

Deliciously chocolatized, Lou wiped himself off as best as he could before noticing a door just ahead. Sweet Sally this kitchen was big for a building that looked dwarfed in comparison to everything else.

More than likely the door led to some pantry and not an exit, but what the hell. Worth a check.

SPLOOSH.

He had evolved from a walking melting hunk of chocolate to a klondike bar. Good thing temperature wasn't a big deal to him.

Steps: 3  

[Sexy Cocaine]

It didn't seem like there were many more unpleasantries Lou could have dumped on him or step through, but oh, there was.

The dreaded sticky stuff that adheres itself to your shoes and causes you mild discomfort no matter where you go.

This was truly hell now.

"My poor shoes." He pouted, staring at them for a long time before he moved on.

Steps: 6  

[Sexy Cocaine]

Oh, look. Another door. Maybe they'd have some kind of cleaning solution for his shoes in there.

Or...

SPLOOSH.

Another bucket of ice water.

His movements were getting more stiff with the amount of cold being dumped on him.

Steps: 7  

[Sexy Cocaine]

After the ice water, Lou stumbled back clumsily, his steps hindered by the sticky mess on his shoes.

Then it was back in the vat of chocolate.

Or, at least, the substance that looked like chocolate.

Good thing he hadn't eaten anything today.

Steps: 9  

[Sexy Cocaine]

Between the chocolate and the ice water, not one part of him had been left untouched. The now sludgy, stiff creature marched through the door after yet another bucket had been dumped on him, and onto the next room.

Steps: 10  

[Sexy Cocaine]

Lou sticky-marched his way through the hall and stumbled upon... A library? No wonder the kitchen was a mess. The a*****e living here was too busy reading these books to bother cleaning. "Ugh." He mumbled in frustration, stomping up to a case to start flinging some literature. "How do you like it when I ruin your nice things?" He asked nobody in particular, though the answer he got back after the third book seemed like a good indication that his message had been received.

A door revealed itself.

"That's what I thought."  

[Sexy Cocaine]

Oh, now he was in a bedroom. Lou did so hope this guy wouldn't mind if he tracked what was left of the watery chocolate combined with sticky garbage over the carpet.

Actually he really hoped they did.

There was a door at the end, just waiting to be opened... If it hadn't been locked from the other side. Well wasn't that special? Not only had this person failed at cleanliness, but locksmithing was also beyond them.

Well, Lou hadn't picked too many locks in his own unlife, but he was no stranger to it.

The boil searched the room for some bobbypins and other items to aid him in his escape, and his first attempt was basically shoving everything he could fit into a little hole.

Hm. Seemed like this could be a good metaphor for something.  

[Sexy Cocaine]

Okay, maybe it was time to be more technical about this.

"Hm. Keys work in locks because the notches push down on the differently sized pins contained in the mechanism.." Lou mused to himself as he tried to bend and shape the bobby pin. "Which means... I have to find that one spot that makes everything click."

That... Also sounded like some kind of innuendo. It really shouldn't surprise anyone.  

[Sexy Cocaine]

And finally...

Click.

Lou grinned his toothy grin as he successfully found 'the spot', as he called it. He always knew he had a way with his hands.

The boil stands proudly and turns the knob, marching out with his chocolate caked nose pointing upwards, which made it quite easy to notice the guy in the tree.

The boil recognized that look. Ohhh, he knew what was going on. Lou rested his hands on his hips. "You cheeky b*****d." He grabbed the paper from the air and glanced at it, tossing the trick or treater a wave before walking back towards the undead dorms.

He really, really needed a shower.