To “abuse” is to use something or someone to bad effect or for a bad purpose, especially regularly or repeatedly. Spiritual abuse is a technique used by some cults (and churches) to control individuals and ensure obedience, all the while giving the impression that their teachings and instructions are based on the Bible. Spiritual abuse is closely associated with spiritual manipulation.

A spiritually abusive group might claim that they are God’s sole channel of communication and that they alone can rightly interpret God’s Word. They might claim that salvation depends upon belonging to their church and that, since God speaks through them alone, there can be no further discussion on what the leaders say. Or the leaders might point to God’s blessing on their work—proved by increased baptisms, perhaps—and push members to contribute more generously to their expansion programs. Pushing for more money, promising that God will repay, and piling on guilt can be signs of covert abuse.

Abusive groups also place great emphasis on performance-related works—attending every meeting; volunteering to help at local, regional, and national events; and devoting required minimum amounts of time to proselytizing. Members are constantly reminded that the end of this wicked system of things is imminent and so there is very little time left to spread the “good news.” Everyone must do more in the advancement of “God’s work.” The dedication of each member is tracked and measured by the amount of time, effort, and money he or she gives to the cause. If an individual’s efforts begin to slip below expectations, it will be noticed.

Another form of spiritual abuse occurs when churches or cults twist Scripture to give more authority to the leadership and keep their members under control. One example is the use of Hebrews 13:17 (“Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority”) to demand unquestioning loyalty and obedience. Some leaders claim to have divine authority; thus, to disobey them is to disobey God. This is a pernicious form of spiritual manipulation, and it has no place in a true church. Our highest loyalty is due Christ, who is the Head of the church (Ephesians 1:22), not a particular organization, church, or leader.

Abusive churches train members to block out any information that is critical of the group. With enough thought and information control, leaders can get those under their sway to defend their new identity over their former identity. The first line of defense is denial: “What you say isn’t happening at all.” Next comes rationalization: “This is happening for a good reason.” After that, justification: “This is happening because it ought to.” Finally, wishful thinking: “I’d like it to be true, so maybe it really is.”

One technique used to prevent members from believing critical reports is to declare that the media only lies about them. These “lies” are identified as a form of persecution, which “proves” they must be the one true religion. So, for example, when journalists report on members who have been found guilty of child abuse, the organization simply tells its members they cannot believe anything the newspapers say about them—it’s all lies and smears.

Spiritually abusive churches attempt to control what people think, what they read, and how they act. The more committed to the abusive church a person becomes, the more isolated he becomes from non-members, and the more he fears punishment if he tries to leave. Some people, after a lifetime of emotional investment in a religious group, simply do not know how they could survive if they left. They have no friends other than their fellow church members. They may have cut off contact with family members. They probably have no interests (social or intellectual) outside of their group. Such is their fear of being ostracized that many stay put, keeping their misgivings to themselves.

Jonestown survivor Deborah Layton wrote, “When our own thoughts are forbidden, when our questions are not allowed and our doubts are punished, when contacts and friendships outside of the organization are censored, we are being abused for an end that never justifies its means. When our heart aches knowing we have made friendships and secret attachments that will be forever forbidden if we leave, we are in danger. When we consider staying in a group because we cannot bear the loss, disappointment and sorrow our leaving will cause for ourselves and those we have come to love, we are in a cult” (Seductive Poison, page 299. Published by Anchor Books, New York, 1998.).

Victims of spiritual abuse seldom realize what’s happening to them at the time. Here are some indicators of a spiritually manipulative and abusive church:
Legalism
Misplaced loyalty
Emphasis on performance
Demands to obey leaders and accept their judgments
Unquestioning submission to leaders’ authority
Humiliation of any who don’t submit to the leaders
Punishment (actual or threatened) such as loss of privileges or shunning
Exclusivism (“We alone are right, and everybody else is wrong; only we have the truth”)
Isolation by refusing to associate with anyone other than group members
Failure to protect vulnerable people from abusers and unwillingness to bring abusers to justice

All Christians need to be alert to spiritual abuse and to follow the example of the Bereans in Acts 17:11: “Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” Did the apostle Paul take offense when the Bereans researched to ensure that his preaching was based on Scripture? Of course not, because Paul knew his preaching would stand up under exhaustive scrutiny. Likewise with all teaching and preaching—we must hold it up to the light of God’s Word before we accept it. Any religious group that prevents its members from doing independent research or from challenging the leadership must have something to hide.

Jesus told His disciples they would be like sheep among wolves and instructed them to be “shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). The Master’s yoke is easy, and His burden is light. He gives us rest and is gentle and humble in heart (Matthew 11:28–29). That is the Christlike example all who shepherd Jesus’ flock must exemplify. Peter gave this advice to the first elders in the Christian church: “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away” (1 Peter 5:2–4).

Conversely, shepherds who abuse the flock can expect severe punishment when the Lord returns: “He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. . . . From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked” (Luke 12:46–48.). With privilege comes responsibility, and those spiritual wolves who abuse their authority will have to answer to God for the harm they have done.

Read more: http://www.gotquestions.org/spiritual-abuse.html#ixzz3E75POAAo