The Captain's Deck

[riskinginsanity]

[Enter from The Beach]

It didn't surprise Adrian that his rage-infused steps had taken him directly to the nearest bar. He had been muttering all day that he needed a drink. And while he wouldn't refer to himself as an alcoholic, he'd consumed more than his fair share of the stuff in the last three years. It was easy, turning to drinking when he wanted to get rid of emotion. It was familiar, and safe, and alcohol wouldn't try to toy with him and it wouldn't break his heart.

So it was with that in mind that Adrian stepped through the doors of The Captain's Deck. This place was louder and jumpier than his usual haunts, but it was within walking distance, so it would work. Body visibly shaking with rage and the effort it took to control it, Adrian walked across the room to the bar and sat down, barely noticing the black-haired girl that seemed far too young and timid to be at home working in a place like this. Out of consideration for her, he took a deep breath to steady himself and managed to give her a somewhat friendly smile. "Just get me anything not mixed, please," he said, unable to completely remove the harsh undertone from his voice. With that said, he dropped his smile and his head simultaneously, his forehead falling into his hands, and his elbows propped on the counter.

Now he could think.

And he didn't know what to think. All he knew was that he was mad, and that his mind was a jumble that felt completely un-sortable. 'What the HELL just happened?' he thought furiously. 'Who does he think he is! What gives him the right to go and stand so close to me, to flirt around and play pretend with a part of life some people would kill to have? Nothing! Nothing, that's what!' Adrian's hands gripped his hair tightly and he fought off the stinging sensation in his eyes. It seemed he had come to the root of the problem - or at least, a root. Everything that had gone through his head when standing there shoving Trendon against the car, the things he had repeated furiously in his head the entire walk here, had been true. But it hadn't been enough to warrant the extreme pain he was feeling right now. No, this went deeper, to a place he didn't want to go... He really hoped that drink came soon.



|| Profile: ▣ ||
|| Outfit: ▣ ||
|| Cash: $500 ||
|| OOC: Hey sorry to intrude! Er, I don't really know why I'm apologizing...
but anyways! Adrian's just had an emotional... thing, and he'll just be in
here introspecting for a bit. Don't mind him. ^^ ||



show spoilerhide spoiler


Loonamist


Lyeisander

 

[riskinginsanity]

Was that it? Was that why he was so bothered by this - because Trendon's flirting somehow mocked what he and Joe had shared? And if it was, was that fair? Did it matter if it was fair? Joseph was gone. Joseph was gone, because he was trying to do what was best, and that meant that nothing was fair. That man had been the best Adrian had ever known, and he was killed in the most unfair moment of all of eternity, justice be d**med! So was it wrong for him to be upset over Trendon's levity? Hell no. Hell. No. Nobody had the right to go and mock something so sacred to him. Nobody.

A glass was placed in front of him, but Adrian didn't look up. He couldn't, not now. "Thank you," he said with a hoarse voice. It was sweet of her to do that, but of course he would be paying for his own drink. For now, though, he would leave it be. He couldn't muster up the courage to pull his head out of his hands and get out his wallet anyway; it would have to wait. If he couldn't move his head, however, that also meant he couldn't take a drink. This was a problem.

A problem he attempted to solve by working through his mental jumble some more, which clearly wasn't going to work. Could he have known that, though? Well, yes. But he wasn't thinking clearly right now.



|| Profile: ▣ ||
|| Outfit: ▣ ||
|| Cash: $500 ||
|| OOC: I'm probably just going to rapid-fire these posts, and since I figure
Enya won't really have any reason to interact with him, I'm just gonna keep
crankin' em out. Hope that's okay? You can totally cut in if for any reason
Enya were to talk to him or something, but for now I'm just gonna post ^^
Adrian's just going to sit there being miserable for a while, so it's not like
there's much to respond to anyways haha ||



show spoilerhide spoiler


Loonamist


Lyeisander

 

[riskinginsanity]

The problem with miserable people is that they can always find ways to make themselves more miserable.

Adrian did so. With his mind now firmly entrenched in the past, it was all too easy to move from focusing on being so close to Trendon, to focusing on being close to someone else. He could recall with perfect clarity the first time they'd been so close, although that situation had ended very differently.

They'd been studying together in the library. Both on the same track for graduation, in mostly the same classes, and both perfectly content to spend as much time in each other's company as possible? It had been inevitable that they become study partners. And that day, that beautiful fall day in the middle of October, Adrian had had his first kiss. Joe had been several years older than he, and Adrian was still amazed by his own boldness in that moment. For against all odds, he had been the one to initiate it. They'd been sitting there next to each other, bent over their textbooks and notes, when Adrian had looked up, and hadn't been able to look away. He'd known for a while that he was unstoppably attracted to this man, but neither of them had ever said anything. They just spent time together, and smiled at each other, and mostly studied. But that day, Adrian thought he might go mad if he didn't do something. So without thinking he leaned over, and cupped Joe's face in his hand to turn it towards him, and he kissed him. It was sweet, and slow, and perfect. His life had changed forever.

And now Joe was gone. All of it was gone. Everything lost forever but the memories Adrian prayed would never fade. The tears he had been holding back broke free, and three salty drops fells to the counter beneath him while a strangled sob escaped his lips. What was he doing, thinking about this? This wasn't going to help anything. It wasn't going to change anything. But... but he missed him. He missed his love, his first love, his only love. He'd never been as fun as Joe, or as social, or as creative and sweet, but for some reason Joseph had chosen him. He was the luckiest man in the world.

Had been. Had been the luckiest man in the world.

Unable to handle this line of thought any longer, Adrian took a shuddering breath before he pulled his head up sharply and reached out to grasp the glass before him. In no time, he had drained half of it. It was time to think about different things, things he could actually affect. The past was not somewhere safe right now. Time to change course. Let's go back to the Trendon problem...



|| Profile: ▣ ||
|| Outfit: ▣ ||
|| Cash: $500 ||
|| OOC: ||



show spoilerhide spoiler

[quote="Loonamist]
[quote="Lyeisander]

 

[riskinginsanity]

Trendon. Now there was a subject that suddenly seemed much less painful. Adrian dragged his mind back to it, dredging up the much more recent memories. Coming out of his house to see his brother tackling the old friend to the ground. Standing there, immobile, as he tried to take it all in. Endless teasing and mindless chatter, eventually followed by Adrian finally snapping. It really had been quite the eventful morning, hadn't it?

Hard as he tried to summon back the anger that had fueled him, Adrian simply couldn't do it. Anger would have made him strong, and in power, and capable of doing something, anything to make things better, even if he regretted it after. But now, all Adrian could manage to feel was a kind of emptiness. He just felt... broken.

It wasn't a good feeling, to say the least. But weren't they all broken, in the end? That's what happened to people. They break, and try as they might, they never truly get fixed. Everybody was a little bit broken. Levi, who put on a face and let the world in even less than Adrian did. Certainly Trendon - nobody could be that crazy and not be messed up somehow. And even Joe, who'd been wonderful in every way, had been a little bit broken. It happened to the best, as it happened to everybody. And if everybody was broken, then there was nothing to be done but just keeping moving.

Which certainly wasn't what Adrian was doing now, sitting in a bar trying to drink his troubles away. He'd taken another swig, and was starting to feel the slight numbing effects that alcohol could bring. But of course, that wouldn't take care of the problem and he knew that. He needed to find a way to deal with everything, because goodness knows it wasn't all going away anytime soon.

Or, you know, ever.

Fine then. If he couldn't sit here and wallow in peace, without some kind of conscience coming in and ruining everything, then deal with it he would. And the only thing he could worry about right now without breaking down was the most recent issue: Trendon. Back to Trendon, again. How many times had he tried to think about this and managed to avoid it? Adrian let out a large huff of air and took another drink; he was gonna need it to try to sort through this issue.



|| Profile: ▣ ||
|| Outfit: ▣ ||
|| Cash: $500 ||
|| OOC: ||



show spoilerhide spoiler

[quote="Loonamist]
[quote="Lyeisander]

 

[riskinginsanity]

With anger out of reach, it was harder than ever to think about today's events; he couldn't look at things through a red-tinted lense, distorting everything so that he could just blame it all on somebody else. It was time to get down to business and figure this out. Better to do so now, when he was already hurting and with a drink in his hand, than later. Get all the feels out now.

Fine. To business, then. Adrian swirled the remaining liquor in his glass and stared at the counter before him, determined that this time he would stay on track. He'd gotten through the part where he figured out that it wasn't actually Levi that was bothering him. Or, well, that it was just Levi that was bothering him. So if he took that whole mess out of the equation, what was left?

Another mess, that's what.

It hurt. It hurt to think about this. Adrian didn't want to. All he could feel was this aching emptiness, and it hurt. He took another drink before setting the glass down, arms folding onto the table while his head came down to rest on top of them. Trying to rid himself of the issue, he squeezed his eyes shut. But of course that would change nothing. If he got through this, he wouldn't have to feel this way anymore. It would go away. Or at least, that's how he convinced himself to try to think about it for the umpteenth time.

Why not start from the beginning? The day had started out with him coming out of the house to see Trendon there, being tackled by Levi. Adrian's reaction had been the opposite of his twin's; all he had done was stand there and stare, with his mouth agape. Was that an okay reaction to have? He hadn't seen this man in years, it made sense to be shocked. Had it just been shock that had left him standing in the threshold, unwilling to step outside? Adrian pondered that, thinking back and trying to recall just how he had felt at the time.



|| Profile: ▣ ||
|| Outfit: ▣ ||
|| Cash: $500 ||
|| OOC: ||



show spoilerhide spoiler

[quote="Loonamist]
[quote="Lyeisander]

 

[riskinginsanity]

No. No, it hadn't just been shock. It had been fear. Well then, what caused the fear? That was more tricky, and Adrian wasn't sure he'd be able to be as honest with himself as he needed to be.

As he'd grown through puberty, an odd time in any teenager's life, Levi and Trendon had been there - the tag team of torture. But it hadn't been so bad, really. He'd suffered through their jesting and mockery, and even through Trendon's flirtations, and he'd come out alright. A little beaten and bruised, but it had all worked itself out. So then, was the fear he'd felt upon seeing the man again just a ghost of the past? Him not wanting them to all revert to high school mode? Possibly. He certainly wasn't looking to be teased constantly; Levi did enough of that already.

That didn't feel like it though. It didn't explain everything. Alright then, next terrible moment. Trendon with an arm around his shoulder and a finger runnig up his throat, back before they'd all gotten in the car. Adrian remembered being upset about that, sitting in the car and rubbing this neck furiously to try to erase the feeling. He also remembered having no idea how to sort out what was going through his head then either. Yeah, there was the whole Joseph issue again, Adrian had a distinct memory of being worried about that. But that wasn't everything; it wouldn't have been so confusing if that was the only problem.

...There'd also been a part of him that had liked it.



|| Profile: ▣ ||
|| Outfit: ▣ ||
|| Cash: $500 ||
|| OOC: ||



show spoilerhide spoiler

[quote="Loonamist]
[quote="Lyeisander]

 

[riskinginsanity]

"S**t!" Adrian exclaimed under his breath, pushing himself upright so fast the stool he was sitting on clattered back and forth on its legs dangerously. Without allowing another moment to pass by uninebriated, he grabbed his glass and drained it.

This was unacceptable. Yeah, he'd had a pretty major crush on Trendon in high school, but he'd been a foolish child. Those feelings weren't acceptable anymore. Not only was Adrian not ready to get back into the whole dating game, Trendon wasn't the kind of person he could be with anyway. Could he picture that reckless teenager as a father? No. And that was that. Adrian couldn't fall in love with someone that wasn't on the same path he was, with similar goals, and it was very clear that Trendon had no intentions of settling down anytime soon, if ever.

Besides, even if Adrian had liked it, that didn't mean that it meant anything to Trendon. It was just a joke, a remnant of the high school days, him being the flirtatious, insincere person that he was. Even if Adrian had been willing to consider the possibility of a future with Trendon, Trendon wouldn't. So it was a really good thing that Adrian had decided that wasn't something he wanted, either. He wasn't going to sit around holding on to a puppy-like crush from high school, gazing longingly across the room at someone who didn't care about him. Not anymore; he'd had enough of that in high school. Life had moved on, and he'd moved on with it. At least with that part - there were other issues of the past he had yet to let go of, but that wasn't the issue right now. He'd decided not to think about that.

So it was settled then, wasn't it? Problem solved. He had gotten upset because he'd been worried about a man who was three years gone, and because he'd been afraid of feeling the same way about a man that he had in high school. And now he'd decided not to feel that way anymore. So it would be okay now, right? Right. Of course.

The sick feeling in Adrian's stomach was diminishing, and he determined that that was a sign. He'd done enough thinking for now. Yeesh, he'd done plenty! And now it was sorted, he convinced himself, and he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.



|| Profile: ▣ ||
|| Outfit: ▣ ||
|| Cash: $500 ||
|| OOC: ||



show spoilerhide spoiler

[quote="Loonamist]
[quote="Lyeisander]

 

[riskinginsanity]

The more time passed, the more okay Adrian became. It was easier, with his new-found solution, to simply sit and think of nothing. It was peaceful.

After time had passed, Adrian realized he'd just been sitting here, staring at nothing, for quite a while. He was being 'that person,' the one who was taking up space in the bar and not using it. With a sigh, he pulled his mind back into working order and mentally prepared himself to leave. He would need a plan though, before getting up. What was the plan?

He couldn't go back and try to find Levi and Trendon; that simply wasn't an option. Sure, he'd resolved himself against the future tortures he would face, but he was too exhausted to handle more of that today. Although he would have to apologize to Trendon at some point... Adrian hadn't exactly been gentle towards the end there, and he'd decided that as much as Trendon had been out of line, his own actions hadn't exactly been okay, either. An apology was in order. But not... not today. He could just go home, spend the rest of his day off in peace. Work in the attic. That's what he had wanted to do in the first place, before Levi had decided to take him for a day on the town, and the whole reunion incident had happened.

Having decided on that, Adrian stood up and pushed in his chair. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, leaving a ten dollar bill on the table - enough to cover his drink and a tip. As he walked out, he gave the waitress who'd offered him the free drink a polite smile, and then left.

[Adrian exits]


|| Profile: ▣ ||
|| Outfit: ▣ ||
|| Cash: $490 ||
|| OOC: Alright, I finally finished! Sorry that was kind of super long haha ^^; ||



show spoilerhide spoiler


Loonamist


Lyeisander

 

[Cho-Cho Twain]

◊ Jɛȵı ɱı Ƞɑɱ ◊
Your Winter-Loving Lady

╔════════ ♦ ═════════════ ♦ ════════════ ♦ ═════════╗

Sigh. This day was not going so well... After she had left Robin's house, she returned home. She didn't know what possessed her to go back, but when she made it there, she was greeted with her house in a ruined mess! Books were tossed around. Her couch was flipped over along with the tables. And her bedroom was torn apart too. Luckily for her, she made the right decision of going to Robin's house after leaving Moonbucks. She knew that text message from this morning was shady... As it turned out, her "husband" somehow found out what town she's in and which house was hers. Honestly, she was contemplating about moving to a different city, getting a new job...maybe even a whole name change? After all these years, she had NO idea that Delsin was still searching high and low for her a**. Now what was she going to do...?

With nothing else to do, no one else to talk to, poor Jeni just decided to drink. Drink away all of her damn stress. All she did was change her clothes, not even bothering to clean up her house, and left. The wind was cold, and it was raining. Perfect atmosphere when your life's gone to s**t, huh? With a heavy sigh, she just walked. Walked and walked and walked until she got to the Captain's Deck - one of few places that she has yet to visit. Right off the bat, she felt as if she was on some type of pirate's ship. Weird to say, but she actually kind of enjoyed it. It was one more interesting thing to get stuff off of her mind.

Ignoring the other crowds of people, Jeni soon made her way to the bar, sitting in one of its cushioned stools. "Sour Apple Martini, please..." She said softly as the bartender nodded. This icy sorceress knew very damn well that she had a very low alcohol tolerance. But you know what? She could've cared less!

╚════════ ♦ ═════════════ ♦ ════════════ ♦ ═════════╝
♦ Who?: No One ♦ Where?: Captain's Deck ♦ Money: $900.00 ♦ Outfit: Jeni ♦ OOC:

show spoilerhide spoiler

 

[Misguided Royalty]

◆ Who ◆ A beautiful stranger tab ◆ Cash ◆ 1590 tab ◆ Attire ◆ Simple & Warm tab ◆ OOC ◆ ---

We'll never be the same, never feel this way again.
I give you everything, but you want pain.

Jonathon shook himself roughly, freeing himself from those pesky droplets of rain, as he stepped towards the door of The Captain's Deck; his very own business! Whistling a low tune, the man pushed open the doors to the building, any sound he made now drowned out by the voices that trickled from inside. He stepped inside, following the natural curving motions of the building onto the actual deck. No matter how much he griped and moaned about going to work, once he got there he couldn't deny the satisfied feeling he got. Who else had a business that looked like a pirate ship? Well, there were probably quite a few around the world-- but in Soleil he was the only one!

Jonathon looked around the area, nodding to the few employees whose eye he caught amongst the crowd; ignoring the surprise that lit in a few faces. Was it really that rare of him to come in? Boy, wasn't that embarrassing. That would have to change... soon-ish. Soon enough. He'd be a dutiful boss and show up on time! The man even went as far as to entertain the thought of giving his employees a raise, but the idea didn't develop any further than just what it was: an idea.

The man gave a sigh, pushing his hands in his pockets before he began to edge away from the crowd and towards the bar. Even if this was his place, there were moments where he felt a bit out of place, and that had to do with the age group the Captain's Deck attracted. Those who were either just pushing twenty-one, or just a bit older. Either way, he always seemed to be the oldest here. It was a nudge at his own insecurities, but he'd learned to live with it. Besides, it wasn't as if he looked like he was that old... right? The man snorted to himself as he sat down, allowing himself a moment's breather. He raked his gaze through the crowd, content with casually watching the groups; making sure nothing got too out of hand. Though he quickly became distracted by the sound of a feminine voice nearby. Jonathon swiveled around in his seat and watched with mild interest as a brunette haired woman ordered a drink. "Hello there." she looked as if she was alone, and was somewhere near his age group. That was good enough for him. "What's a beautiful woman like yourself doing drinking alone?"

A little water please, I taste you all over my teeth
Never again. Just tonight? Ok.

Cho-Cho Twain