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 Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 4:09 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 8:39 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 10:36 am
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Arizonans unite! gonk
I found, personally, that sometimes it takes a bit of time and trial and error to figure out how you want to define yourself. I started figuring something was a bit off about me at about the same age as you, and nearly 10 years later I'm still working it out, but slowly I've come to understand myself better. Maybe it happens more quickly for some people or they just know, but I was in denial about only liking girls (I am a girl too, despite my avatar being male) and tried to change myself and fight it, and then it took time to accept it. But it's not weird, some things take time, and you'll learn who you are and grow as a person even once you're in your twenties! There really isn't any rush, and you'll find yourself falling into a place on that spectrum in your own time. Or at least I did...
Also, I've recently learned that you can be attracted to one/both genders, but only be romantically interested in one or the other and they don't have to be the same. So there are even levels within the spectrum, perhaps you could say. That's confusing, but you don't really have to define yourself, just like what you like/who you like and create your own category that suits you rather than trying to force yourself into a pre-set definition...there are lots of different sexualities and levels of these it seems. it's not black and white. o:
Good luck. ^ ^
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 12:51 pm
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BiBiBabydoll Hi I'm Mo! 19/ F/ Bi/ CA Your sexuality is whatever you define it as, but mostly, it's who you're SEXUALLY attracted to. Assuming you're female, if you like: Men: Straight biggrin Women: Homosexual 3nodding Both: Bisexual heart Men, women, transgender, etc.: Pansexual dramallama And there are other sexualities, but these are some of the most common. I hope this helps! And remember, the only reason you should label yourself is if YOU want to. You don't need to stress about it just to try to explain yourself to other people. Your sexuality is your business so just do what makes YOU happy biggrin
Thank you, that makes me feel better, I don't feel like i'm ready to label myself just yet, and I just get nervous whenever asked "what I am" because sometimes I feel kinda bisexual, and other times just straight lesbian. sweatdrop |
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 12:58 pm
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teaKING Arizonans unite! gonk I found, personally, that sometimes it takes a bit of time and trial and error to figure out how you want to define yourself. I started figuring something was a bit off about me at about the same age as you, and nearly 10 years later I'm still working it out, but slowly I've come to understand myself better. Maybe it happens more quickly for some people or they just know, but I was in denial about only liking girls (I am a girl too, despite my avatar being male) and tried to change myself and fight it, and then it took time to accept it. But it's not weird, some things take time, and you'll learn who you are and grow as a person even once you're in your twenties! There really isn't any rush, and you'll find yourself falling into a place on that spectrum in your own time. Or at least I did... Also, I've recently learned that you can be attracted to one/both genders, but only be romantically interested in one or the other and they don't have to be the same. So there are even levels within the spectrum, perhaps you could say. That's confusing, but you don't really have to define yourself, just like what you like/who you like and create your own category that suits you rather than trying to force yourself into a pre-set definition...there are lots of different sexualities and levels of these it seems. it's not black and white. o: Good luck. ^ ^
Thank you so much! I've been told about that before, but I didn't really know if others felt you could be that way. I just worry too much about what others think I guess. How did you get past that, if I may ask? And it's crazy that you're from Arizona too! I've only met one other person on here from Arizona. 4laugh |
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 1:38 pm
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Unstable Lover ] Thank you so much! I've been told about that before, but I didn't really know if others felt you could be that way. I just worry too much about what others think I guess. How did you get past that, if I may ask? And it's crazy that you're from Arizona too! I've only met one other person on here from Arizona. 4laugh
I know it's hard to not care what others think...but I eventually decided that life is too short to worry about other people. They like to be quickto judge and think that only their ideas are the right ones, but you waste so much time trying to be what you're not or impress people who will never accept you or who don't matter and it's not worth it. So I just do my best and be the best person I can be, based on my own ideas of what that is...and if someone doesn't like it and won't accept it, then that is their own issue that they need to work on but it isn't something I can fix or need to fix or which should affect my life at all. Then the people who do accept you and understand you, or try to, are the ones who are worth it. It's ok to cut out the people in your life who are damaging to your self-respect and who try to take you down. You have to do you, and be you, and no one is here to make everyone else happy and it's impossible to do so. So that's what I think, and I decided to live that way. There's just not enough time to let people treat you badly, and it is YOUR life and YOUR choices, and they are purely yours to command and choose. If someone has a good opinion or advice, take it or at least listen to it, but if they don't then you can choose to rise above it. It's just a choice and a decision you make and practice...
I've gotten past my issues and my denial similarly. I'm creeping toward 30 and most of my time has been spent trying to be anyone but myself, worrying about what others may think of me for being gay or what difficulties it may bring to my already difficult life, but I recently decided that it's really none of anyone's business what my sexuality is unless I choose that they know or they need to know for some reason, and if I haven't been able to change myself in all these years then there is no changing it. I was sort of raised thinking gay people were abnormal and I never knew anyone who was, so I didn't want to be that. It was one of those things that I thought would never happen to me, and then to my horror I realized it was who I was. It was really difficult, and I don't tell anyone I know about it. My family doesn't know, and unless I find someone to "marry" they won't know, because I can't bear for anyone to know unless they must or unless they are the chosen few I've sought for help or confided in about it.
So that's how I got past these things. I just decided and realized that it was a battle against myself and others that I couldn't win. You need to do what makes you happy, if you can, because you don't want to be old and have regrets and wish you'd done differently. I think I realized it when my dad passed, after having a difficult and sad life where he tried so hard but never succeeded and all he wanted was for my sister and I to be happy, but he left behind such a mess. I don't want to be like him, so I chose happiness.
You CHOOSE happiness. It's just perspective and learning some mental discipline. Though, that's just how my brain works and what structure I need, and everyone is different. xD
& yeah. I saw someone else from AZ a week ago but prior to that there's no one. Maybe people aren't proud of it, haha. |
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 2:23 pm
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teaKING Unstable Lover ] Thank you so much! I've been told about that before, but I didn't really know if others felt you could be that way. I just worry too much about what others think I guess. How did you get past that, if I may ask? And it's crazy that you're from Arizona too! I've only met one other person on here from Arizona. 4laugh
I've gotten past my issues and my denial similarly. I'm creeping toward 30 and most of my time has been spent trying to be anyone but myself, worrying about what others may think of me for being gay or what difficulties it may bring to my already difficult life, but I recently decided that it's really none of anyone's business what my sexuality is unless I choose that they know or they need to know for some reason, and if I haven't been able to change myself in all these years then there is no changing it. I was sort of raised thinking gay people were abnormal and I never knew anyone who was, so I didn't want to be that. It was one of those things that I thought would never happen to me, and then to my horror I realized it was who I was. It was really difficult, and I don't tell anyone I know about it. My family doesn't know, and unless I find someone to "marry" they won't know, because I can't bear for anyone to know unless they must or unless they are the chosen few I've sought for help or confided in about it.
So that's how I got past these things. I just decided and realized that it was a battle against myself and others that I couldn't win. You need to do what makes you happy, if you can, because you don't want to be old and have regrets and wish you'd done differently. I think I realized it when my dad passed, after having a difficult and sad life where he tried so hard but never succeeded and all he wanted was for my sister and I to be happy, but he left behind such a mess. I don't want to be like him, so I chose happiness.
You CHOOSE happiness. It's just perspective and learning some mental discipline. Though, that's just how my brain works and what structure I need, and everyone is different. xD
& yeah. I saw someone else from AZ a week ago but prior to that there's no one. Maybe people aren't proud of it, haha.
Thank you, it really helps knowing you aren't basically stuck feeling like you're in an odd place forever, only my grandma knows so far, and she's pretty accepting , which I'll forever be grateful for. It'll take me a while to start becoming more and more okay about it, but I do need to start. That's kinda what I do to, I strive to be nothing like my mom, she's almost 45 and doesn't have any part of her life together, and it makes me upset and constantly worried my family will think I'll turn out like her. Sorry, I'm going a little off topic, but I just want to thank you for your advice. I'm sure a lot of people need to hear that. |
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 2:38 pm
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Unstable Lover Thank you, it really helps knowing you aren't basically stuck feeling like you're in an odd place forever, only my grandma knows so far, and she's pretty accepting , which I'll forever be grateful for. It'll take me a while to start becoming more and more okay about it, but I do need to start. That's kinda what I do to, I strive to be nothing like my mom, she's almost 45 and doesn't have any part of her life together, and it makes me upset and constantly worried my family will think I'll turn out like her. Sorry, I'm going a little off topic, but I just want to thank you for your advice. I'm sure a lot of people need to hear that.
Maybe it's not the best advice, and it's good to get as many opinions and as much help as you can if you think you need it. But, I wish I would've had someone to talk to who'd been there or had even a remotely similar experience. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always creepin' around somewhere if you like. That's what's nice about these guilds yeah!
^ ^ Cool. |
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 4:56 pm
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Unstable Lover Thank you, that makes me feel better, I don't feel like i'm ready to label myself just yet, and I just get nervous whenever asked "what I am" because sometimes I feel kinda bisexual, and other times just straight lesbian. sweatdrop
I feel that way too, sometimes. Like I'm attracted to men, but I don't actually want to be with one. I just got out of a crappy relationship with a man and, while I still consider myself bisexual and I'm still attracted to men, I don't want to be with a man at all, whatsoever.
Just remember that sexuality isn't all black and white. There are a lot of grey spots and it's perfectly okay to take your time to figure out who you are and what makes you happy because, while you may/could have some problems from ultra-conservative types, the only thing that should matter to you first-and-foremost is YOUR happiness. Now go! Go make the world a gayer place! (or bi if that's what you're into wink ) |
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 12:52 pm
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BiBiBabydoll Unstable Lover Thank you, that makes me feel better, I don't feel like i'm ready to label myself just yet, and I just get nervous whenever asked "what I am" because sometimes I feel kinda bisexual, and other times just straight lesbian. sweatdrop I feel that way too, sometimes. Like I'm attracted to men, but I don't actually want to be with one. I just got out of a crappy relationship with a man and, while I still consider myself bisexual and I'm still attracted to men, I don't want to be with a man at all, whatsoever. Just remember that sexuality isn't all black and white. There are a lot of grey spots and it's perfectly okay to take your time to figure out who you are and what makes you happy because, while you may/could have some problems from ultra-conservative types, the only thing that should matter to you first-and-foremost is YOUR happiness. Now go! Go make the world a gayer place! (or bi if that's what you're into wink )
Haha awww thank you! 4laugh I'll do my best! |
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 12:53 pm
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teaKING Unstable Lover Thank you, it really helps knowing you aren't basically stuck feeling like you're in an odd place forever, only my grandma knows so far, and she's pretty accepting , which I'll forever be grateful for. It'll take me a while to start becoming more and more okay about it, but I do need to start. That's kinda what I do to, I strive to be nothing like my mom, she's almost 45 and doesn't have any part of her life together, and it makes me upset and constantly worried my family will think I'll turn out like her. Sorry, I'm going a little off topic, but I just want to thank you for your advice. I'm sure a lot of people need to hear that. Maybe it's not the best advice, and it's good to get as many opinions and as much help as you can if you think you need it. But, I wish I would've had someone to talk to who'd been there or had even a remotely similar experience. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always creepin' around somewhere if you like. That's what's nice about these guilds yeah! ^ ^ Cool.
Thank you for your help, I'll be sure to talk to you if I have any more questions or need advice. emotion_c8 |
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:13 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 10:38 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 10:48 pm
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