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 Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2015 5:24 pm
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2015 8:38 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 12:48 am
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OtakuKat I might be breaking up with my boyfriend soon. It's only been about three months, but I've already grown incredibly attached to him. He hasn't been talking to me much ever since he got sick a little over two weeks ago. He's well now, but hasn't been acting the same. I have depression and anxiety issues, so this has been a difficult time for me. Please pray for us...I have a bad feeling that He might not be the guy God wants for me.
Keeping you in my prayers that God may bless you with strength, guidance, and peace of heart and mind.
Take a deep breath and given him some space... Sometimes when someone is sick, people can take on a whole other persona. And even when they may feel okay, it takes times for the body to recalibrate and build it back up again. The inflammatory immune response can really wreak havoc on our minds. Also, some people don't like feeling so vulnerable in front of someone... Especially if it's a newer relationship. In the meantime, just ask if there is anything you can do. "Do you need soup?" If not, then just say, "Let me know if you need anything. I care about you."
The only metaphorical way of putting it is when you see a cat that is sick and doesn't want to be touched. You touch it when it hurts, it might just hiss or even claw. Some animals even hide themselves away when they are sick out of instinct.
My partner and I are also in a rough spot right now... It's been like this and worse since my diagnosis. My high's and low's are a rollercoaster. Long-distance doesn't help (3 years, 1,000+ miles apart, we see each other every 1-2 months). I say some horrible things. Things that are really out of character for me. I don't really mean to say during "episodes" or "flare-ups" (sometimes I won't even remember the next day), especially if I am having a temperature spike. And likewise, he winds up tossing that fire right back at me because... Well, no one likes to be treated that way (and never should be). Sometimes I just try to avoid him all together just to prevent an argument, and even that can be harmful sometimes. It's a balance act, as well as having faith in God to steer our relationships. Maybe even if for learning experiences... God knows our relationship has weathered through some things... Oh, boy, does He lol
I really hope things work out for you, soon. I am in this boat with my partner and it seems like the water is going to capsize our boat sometimes. Continue to pray to God and ask Him for strength and patience... This something I need to do more myself heart |
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Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 8:36 am
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Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 8:00 pm
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Arachnoia OtakuKat I might be breaking up with my boyfriend soon. It's only been about three months, but I've already grown incredibly attached to him. He hasn't been talking to me much ever since he got sick a little over two weeks ago. He's well now, but hasn't been acting the same. I have depression and anxiety issues, so this has been a difficult time for me. Please pray for us...I have a bad feeling that He might not be the guy God wants for me. Keeping you in my prayers that God may bless you with strength, guidance, and peace of heart and mind. Take a deep breath and given him some space... Sometimes when someone is sick, people can take on a whole other persona. And even when they may feel okay, it takes times for the body to recalibrate and build it back up again. The inflammatory immune response can really wreak havoc on our minds. Also, some people don't like feeling so vulnerable in front of someone... Especially if it's a newer relationship. In the meantime, just ask if there is anything you can do. "Do you need soup?" If not, then just say, "Let me know if you need anything. I care about you." The only metaphorical way of putting it is when you see a cat that is sick and doesn't want to be touched. You touch it when it hurts, it might just hiss or even claw. Some animals even hide themselves away when they are sick out of instinct. My partner and I are also in a rough spot right now... It's been like this and worse since my diagnosis. My high's and low's are a rollercoaster. Long-distance doesn't help (3 years, 1,000+ miles apart, we see each other every 1-2 months). I say some horrible things. Things that are really out of character for me. I don't really mean to say during "episodes" or "flare-ups" (sometimes I won't even remember the next day), especially if I am having a temperature spike. And likewise, he winds up tossing that fire right back at me because... Well, no one likes to be treated that way (and never should be). Sometimes I just try to avoid him all together just to prevent an argument, and even that can be harmful sometimes. It's a balance act, as well as having faith in God to steer our relationships. Maybe even if for learning experiences... God knows our relationship has weathered through some things... Oh, boy, does He lol I really hope things work out for you, soon. I am in this boat with my partner and it seems like the water is going to capsize our boat sometimes. Continue to pray to God and ask Him for strength and patience... This something I need to do more myself heart
Thank you. I appreciate everyone's prayers.
Yeah I was texting him much more than usual...probably didn't help. sweatdrop It's just that there's been one or two other people where I used to freak out if they got sick. They were triggers for me, and that's what happened here. He's been working this week and is better now, but still doesn't reply to me much (I have cut down alot on the texting). I'm finally going to be seeing him Saturday at the comic shop...I want to, but I'm also scared. It'll be three weeks since we have seen each other. Now with these doubts I have about us...I don't know. I don't want to lose him, I don't want to even break up with him. But he's been rude in his texts and my parents think he's not treating me right. We even have some different beliefs (he believes Jesus and Mary Magdalene may have been married, thinks there's good witchcraft, read and believes "Angels and Demons" and "The Da Vinci Code", and might be okay with homosexuality). I just...I don't know. I'm scared. |
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 7:33 am
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 12:31 pm
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OtakuKat Thank you. I appreciate everyone's prayers. Yeah I was texting him much more than usual...probably didn't help. sweatdrop It's just that there's been one or two other people where I used to freak out if they got sick. They were triggers for me, and that's what happened here. He's been working this week and is better now, but still doesn't reply to me much (I have cut down alot on the texting). I'm finally going to be seeing him Saturday at the comic shop...I want to, but I'm also scared. It'll be three weeks since we have seen each other. Now with these doubts I have about us...I don't know. I don't want to lose him, I don't want to even break up with him. But he's been rude in his texts and my parents think he's not treating me right. We even have some different beliefs (he believes Jesus and Mary Magdalene may have been married, thinks there's good witchcraft, read and believes "Angels and Demons" and "The Da Vinci Code", and might be okay with homosexuality). I just...I don't know. I'm scared.
I understand. When people get sick in my family, I jump to conclusions or am on edge. Have lost loved ones abruptly in my life.
Sometimes there are times in our lives that are opportunities to strengthen our relationship with God. Instead of stressing (which never helps and also way easier said than done), have faith in His plan. Pray for guidance and strength. Things won't always pan out the way we want them to or expected. Personally, I have found those to be learning experiences and at times, blessings in disguise.
If he suddenly been acting strangely, and continues to act cold, short, or neglectful, those are red flags. Consider he may have other stresses going on his life that he may not be telling you about. This is where communication and openness is important... So that you can both be on the same page and understand where your partner's head is at. However, if he has been finding the time to be with friends and/or do other activities the past three weeks and not you, I would be concerned.
As for the differences in beliefs, it can be tricky. You can disagree with someone's beliefs but it is also important to respect them, if not more so in a relationship.. In other words, if a partner makes jabs at you or cuts you down for your beliefs, then that shows lack of respect and it should be discussed in a calm manner/environment. In a newer relationship, it is easier to over look these differences. However, it may become more difficult over time as you spend more time together. It takes time to gauge how compatible you are with someone.
See how Saturday plays out and go from there. Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers heart |
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 4:11 pm
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Arachnoia OtakuKat Thank you. I appreciate everyone's prayers. Yeah I was texting him much more than usual...probably didn't help. sweatdrop It's just that there's been one or two other people where I used to freak out if they got sick. They were triggers for me, and that's what happened here. He's been working this week and is better now, but still doesn't reply to me much (I have cut down alot on the texting). I'm finally going to be seeing him Saturday at the comic shop...I want to, but I'm also scared. It'll be three weeks since we have seen each other. Now with these doubts I have about us...I don't know. I don't want to lose him, I don't want to even break up with him. But he's been rude in his texts and my parents think he's not treating me right. We even have some different beliefs (he believes Jesus and Mary Magdalene may have been married, thinks there's good witchcraft, read and believes "Angels and Demons" and "The Da Vinci Code", and might be okay with homosexuality). I just...I don't know. I'm scared. I understand. When people get sick in my family, I jump to conclusions or am on edge. Have lost loved ones abruptly in my life. Sometimes there are times in our lives that are opportunities to strengthen our relationship with God. Instead of stressing (which never helps and also way easier said than done), have faith in His plan. Pray for guidance and strength. Things won't always pan out the way we want them to or expected. Personally, I have found those to be learning experiences and at times, blessings in disguise. If he suddenly been acting strangely, and continues to act cold, short, or neglectful, those are red flags. Consider he may have other stresses going on his life that he may not be telling you about. This is where communication and openness is important... So that you can both be on the same page and understand where your partner's head is at. However, if he has been finding the time to be with friends and/or do other activities the past three weeks and not you, I would be concerned. As for the differences in beliefs, it can be tricky. You can disagree with someone's beliefs but it is also important to respect them, if not more so in a relationship.. In other words, if a partner makes jabs at you or cuts you down for your beliefs, then that shows lack of respect and it should be discussed in a calm manner/environment. In a newer relationship, it is easier to over look these differences. However, it may become more difficult over time as you spend more time together. It takes time to gauge how compatible you are with someone. See how Saturday plays out and go from there. Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers heart
Yeah he's still been acting fairly cold towards me...
I know, but it's important to have the same beliefs in a relationship. Sure he may be a Christian, but even then how can we support each other when we don't agree with almost everything?
Yeah that's what I'll do. Honestly thinking about ending this, but we will see. Thanks again for the prayers. ^^ |
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 4:40 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 4:08 am
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Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 10:57 am
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Praying for you, sis. I was in a similar situation involving a friendship that got way too intimate. We are both believers, too. Anyway, I wanted to end this intimate friendship because of what I saw it was doing to me spiritually and emotionally. I just knew that he wasn't God's best for me. Granted, I understand that we are both in different parts in our own separate journey with Christ but I felt unequally yoked in the friendship. At the time, I was very much close in my relationship with God. But whenever I'd talk to him, there would be these red warning flags that would come up and perhaps it was God showing me, through our conversations, that he just wasn't the one I should consider being in a relationship with. And I think the Holy Spirit was gently nudging my heart telling me what I sort of dreaded to know..that the other guy wasn't for me and that this just wasn't the right time to get into a relationship. I knew I needed to get closer to Him but instead, I felt like I was being pushed farther away from God through this friendship. And as nice as the other guy was..I just didn't feel right at all in that friendship. I had to end it and to leave. And by His strength, grace, and love for me..He helped me to do just that. I've never felt so free..and so LOVED by God Himself..He showed me what true love was like. He filled all the empty places in my heart that consisted of loneliness, insecurity, and feelings of unworthiness. He filled my heart and He has helped me- to this day even..to break free.
Sis..I want to share with you a blog that I stumbled upon that I felt that God led me to read. This blog..this woman in particular.. helped me in taking that last step away from the relationship and closer to God. I highly recommend and encourage you to read her blogs. I think you'll agree that it speaks biblical truth in this situation.
Heather Lindsey
There's a whole lot more topics on the issue of relationships that I encourage you also to check out.
Will be keeping you in my prayers heart
God loves you like crazy. |
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Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 12:59 pm
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Spirit Reborn Praying for you, sis. I was in a similar situation involving a friendship that got way too intimate. We are both believers, too. Anyway, I wanted to end this intimate friendship because of what I saw it was doing to me spiritually and emotionally. I just knew that he wasn't God's best for me. Granted, I understand that we are both in different parts in our own separate journey with Christ but I felt unequally yoked in the friendship. At the time, I was very much close in my relationship with God. But whenever I'd talk to him, there would be these red warning flags that would come up and perhaps it was God showing me, through our conversations, that he just wasn't the one I should consider being in a relationship with. And I think the Holy Spirit was gently nudging my heart telling me what I sort of dreaded to know..that the other guy wasn't for me and that this just wasn't the right time to get into a relationship. I knew I needed to get closer to Him but instead, I felt like I was being pushed farther away from God through this friendship. And as nice as the other guy was..I just didn't feel right at all in that friendship. I had to end it and to leave. And by His strength, grace, and love for me..He helped me to do just that. I've never felt so free..and so LOVED by God Himself..He showed me what true love was like. He filled all the empty places in my heart that consisted of loneliness, insecurity, and feelings of unworthiness. He filled my heart and He has helped me- to this day even..to break free. Sis..I want to share with you a blog that I stumbled upon that I felt that God led me to read. This blog..this woman in particular.. helped me in taking that last step away from the relationship and closer to God. I highly recommend and encourage you to read her blogs. I think you'll agree that it speaks biblical truth in this situation. Heather LindseyThere's a whole lot more topics on the issue of relationships that I encourage you also to check out. Will be keeping you in my prayers heart God loves you like crazy.
Thanks for posting. I read the blog.
I actually broke up with him temporarily yesterday. We talked about how I was being obsessive with my texting and how he hasn't been giving me enough info. I explain that I was in pain too, but in a different way. A Christian friend of mine (who has been helping me through all this), came to comfort me. My boyfriend came out later, and my friend had a couple suggestions: we could pretend this didn't happen. Remember what we learned and work on our weaknesses. Or we could take a break and see each other a little less. Stay together but give each other time. I personally wanted the first option, by my boyfriend wanted the second. Said he didn't want to hurt me again. So we're taking a break for now. At first it felt right-my friend said that he could see how much we cared for each other. But now I'm having anxiety again. I'm afraid...what if I should have ended it? What if we do end up ending it altogether and I go through that heart-wrenching pain again? I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but...well I'll get so anxious that my heart literally hurts. |
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Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 1:31 pm
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OtakuKat Thanks for posting. I read the blog. I actually broke up with him temporarily yesterday. We talked about how I was being obsessive with my texting and how he hasn't been giving me enough info. I explain that I was in pain too, but in a different way. A Christian friend of mine (who has been helping me through all this), came to comfort me. My boyfriend came out later, and my friend had a couple suggestions: we could pretend this didn't happen. Remember what we learned and work on our weaknesses. Or we could take a break and see each other a little less. Stay together but give each other time. I personally wanted the first option, by my boyfriend wanted the second. Said he didn't want to hurt me again. So we're taking a break for now. At first it felt right-my friend said that he could see how much we cared for each other. But now I'm having anxiety again. I'm afraid...what if I should have ended it? What if we do end up ending it altogether and I go through that heart-wrenching pain again? I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but...well I'll get so anxious that my heart literally hurts.
I'm glad you read the blog 3nodding I admit that she can be pretty 'down to earth' in her blogs sweatdrop but that was something I really needed at that time when I was in that type of relationship with that guy. And I am so proud of you for taking that step back from the relationship. I can only imagine how hard that must have been.
If you feel like you should have ended it, I encourage you to pray to God about it. Tell Him how this decision is making you feel, pour your heart out to Him because He honestly cares about what you're going through and wants to help you through it. And then..when all is said, ask Him to show you/ reveal something to you that will help you get through this.
I can recall praying to Him almost every day just wanting Him to show me what I should do next or to just get me through one day at a time and to heal my entire heart and make it whole again. It was a gradual process so try not to be too hard on yourself if you feel like nothings changing for the good. Also, don't be discouraged by feelings of loneliness etc. The healing takes time. I was so emotionally attached to that guy that after breaking up the 'friendship' [I say 'friendship' because technically we weren't an 'official' couple but to be honest, you wouldn't have known the difference the way we were talking to eachother and spending so much time together..], I felt like running back to that guy just to temporarily fill that empty void.
It's okay, it's normal to feel anxious. And to feel that type of pain of ending it altogether is normal too. As days went by, God gently reminded me of the list of reasons why I ended that friendship in the first place. And as those reasons settled in my heart, it gave me peace about my decision and helped me to press forward without him and towards a closer relationship with God. Looking back now, I can see how much of the relationship wasn't healthy for me or for him. I've compromised some of my firm beliefs just so that I could get his approval/attention and I felt absolutely guilty for it. But praise God that He is patient, loving, forgiving, and faithful towards us. I pray for him often. God will take care of him as He is taking care of me. |
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Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 9:02 pm
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Spirit Reborn OtakuKat Thanks for posting. I read the blog. I actually broke up with him temporarily yesterday. We talked about how I was being obsessive with my texting and how he hasn't been giving me enough info. I explain that I was in pain too, but in a different way. A Christian friend of mine (who has been helping me through all this), came to comfort me. My boyfriend came out later, and my friend had a couple suggestions: we could pretend this didn't happen. Remember what we learned and work on our weaknesses. Or we could take a break and see each other a little less. Stay together but give each other time. I personally wanted the first option, by my boyfriend wanted the second. Said he didn't want to hurt me again. So we're taking a break for now. At first it felt right-my friend said that he could see how much we cared for each other. But now I'm having anxiety again. I'm afraid...what if I should have ended it? What if we do end up ending it altogether and I go through that heart-wrenching pain again? I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but...well I'll get so anxious that my heart literally hurts. I'm glad you read the blog 3nodding I admit that she can be pretty 'down to earth' in her blogs sweatdrop but that was something I really needed at that time when I was in that type of relationship with that guy. And I am so proud of you for taking that step back from the relationship. I can only imagine how hard that must have been. If you feel like you should have ended it, I encourage you to pray to God about it. Tell Him how this decision is making you feel, pour your heart out to Him because He honestly cares about what you're going through and wants to help you through it. And then..when all is said, ask Him to show you/ reveal something to you that will help you get through this. I can recall praying to Him almost every day just wanting Him to show me what I should do next or to just get me through one day at a time and to heal my entire heart and make it whole again. It was a gradual process so try not to be too hard on yourself if you feel like nothings changing for the good. Also, don't be discouraged by feelings of loneliness etc. The healing takes time. I was so emotionally attached to that guy that after breaking up the 'friendship' [I say 'friendship' because technically we weren't an 'official' couple but to be honest, you wouldn't have known the difference the way we were talking to eachother and spending so much time together..], I felt like running back to that guy just to temporarily fill that empty void. It's okay, it's normal to feel anxious. And to feel that type of pain of ending it altogether is normal too. As days went by, God gently reminded me of the list of reasons why I ended that friendship in the first place. And as those reasons settled in my heart, it gave me peace about my decision and helped me to press forward without him and towards a closer relationship with God. Looking back now, I can see how much of the relationship wasn't healthy for me or for him. I've compromised some of my firm beliefs just so that I could get his approval/attention and I felt absolutely guilty for it. But praise God that He is patient, loving, forgiving, and faithful towards us. I pray for him often. God will take care of him as He is taking care of me.
Thank you. I have prayed for peace, and even though today was rough, I feel alot better now. But it's strange...like now I feel like maybe I SHOULD stay in this relationship? I thought I was certain about breaking up with this guy...but maybe God used my Christian friend to show me that maybe we can work this out. I'm not sure, but I'm praying that God will show us what to do. |
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2015 8:37 pm
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