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Posted: Mon May 04, 2015 9:25 pm
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Andraste still hadn't recovered.
It had been two years since she suddenly ran out on her ex. Two years since she grabbed her things and fled into the night. It wasn't because of him. No. He hadn't hurt her or mistreated her in any way. He had been an outstanding mate, in fact. He was perfect to her. Attentive to all needs to gentle when she flinched away from touch. He was the perfect mate, and that was why she had to leave.
She was, to herself, a freak. A monster, even. She was hideous. Her jaw lacked any skin. She lacked a tongue. Hell, she could communicate with spiders. Despite being mute she always had been able to convey how she felt to spiders, and they always obeyed her wants. He couldn't have loved her forever. Sometime, and through no fault of his own, he would have realized his mistake. That or he would have been miserable. Who wanted a freak for their mate? Who would desire someone the public often recoiled from?
It had been her own choice to leave him, and yet two years later she still was a wreck. She bathed and ate, but she never took the time to pamper herself. She stopped visiting her family. She didn't even care to give food to her spiders. She was simply a destroyed blob of fur, waiting for the day she'd wither away.
Andraste had, for the first time in days, dragged herself out into the moonlight. She was curled against the edge of a pond, a paw drifting through the water at a slow and gentle pace. She watched the ripples, ears flat against her head as she flopped it on her free paw. Oh, what was the point anymore? She might as well just starve away.
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2015 10:05 pm
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Andraste stiffened as the intense feeling of another being near washed over her. Her bones locked in place, refusing to allow her the right to move her own body. Somewhere, deep in her gut, a feeling of dread flipped about, warning her of what was to come. Her throat tightened, silver eyes clenching shut as the feelings tumbled through her like a hurricane. Suddenly, she just knew if she looked up she'd be met with danger.
Her ears stayed pinned back, heart hammering in rhythm with her steadily rising breathing. Why was she so scared of just a mere feeling? Why was her fur standing at end? Her claws dug into the dirt as, slowly, her bones creaked into submission. Just one peek. If it was a predator she could slink back to her den. It was close by, after all. Swallowing thickly, the vixen raised her head at the exact time she heard a paw hit water.
Everything stopped.
Her body shuddered as a cold ripple ran through her, stopping at her toes. She didn't move. Not a sound left her as she locked her eyes onto a familiar male. No. Please be a cruel joke. Please be the result of an impending fever, or perhaps a dream. She had run away so far from home to get away from him. To ensure he was safe from her hideous nature. And yet, here he was. She could not mistake him for anyone else. She would always be able to recognize the man she loved – Yusei.
Once again she chose to get up. It was as if time was repeating itself as she crouched low and began to back away into the bushes, betraying him once more in favor of fleeing. This would be the last time. This time, she'd run far! She would find a new home in an entirely new land! Never again would he be tormented with her.
All she had to do was slink away and hope he didn't see her.
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2015 10:15 pm
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2015 10:28 pm
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"An-Andraste?"
She froze in place, stuck to the earth as if it was glue. She didn't dare move, instead blinking back at the male. For a second her breath hitched when he spoke, mind reeling. No. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't happening. Her eyes didn't waver, though she wanted to rip her gaze from his. He captivated her, locking her in place.
And then he came closer.
She instinctually back up, slinking halfway into the nearest bush. He pleaded, and yet she shook her head. 'No', she tried to express with her flicked ears and head shaking. She kept slowly backing up, refraining from bolting only because their eyes were locked into a stare. Surely if he glanced away she would bolt, but for now he had her.
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2015 10:39 pm
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2015 11:20 pm
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2015 11:44 pm
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She flinched as he mentioned her leaving, immediately breaking their gaze and flicking her eyes to look away in shame. Then why was he here? His sudden closeness unnerved her, causing her tail to droop and body to cringe. She wasn't afraid of him. She could never be. Instead, it was the guilt that lurked. While she fully believed she had done what was right, she still felt her heart tighten as she had to face the man she abandoned.
Andraste's head snapped up when his paw lifted to tuck hair away, one ear flicking upwards. Her eyes trailed after him as he spoke, suddenly wishing she could voice back her own thoughts. She never once thought about her muteness negatively. You couldn't miss what you never had. Yet, she had no way to convey what she wanted to say at this particular moment. No way to let him know how she felt. Instead, another whine escaped her throat, twisting as it left her mouth into a morphed high pitched note.
He was right, she did want him to leave. Or, a part of her did. The other wanted him to stay, just for tonight. What harm could it be if she took his offer? He already had undone years of work to avoid him. Maybe... maybe this time she could properly say goodbye. Let him move on for good. Find another vixen to cherish. Someone beautiful, even. Someone better.
Gently, she nodded. Her body trembled still, threatening to send her toppling over onto the man she planned to abandon once more. Could she do it again? Twice? Especially now that her heart screamed in agony at the sight of him? Hell... what if she stayed? Would he forgive her? No. No, that nonsense needed to stop now. She had no place by his side.
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2015 11:59 pm
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2015 12:10 am
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She watched him work, her other ear flicking up in mild amusement. She didn't quite understand his enthusiasm, nor why he wanted to put in effort for her. For a second a cruel thought hopped into her head when he ran across the river: she could leave right now. However, instead she slowly lowered herself onto her stomach, wrapping her tail tightly around her.
He returned, eagerly working on the fish as if she was a princess awaiting a meal. Her head lowered onto her paws, eyes peeking up at him with a mild touch of interest as she scanned him. He looked fine. Perhaps a bit thin, but fine. Not much had changed, and perhaps she was disappointed. It would be easier to remove herself from a stranger, but this man was almost perfectly the same Yusei she had known. He was far from a stranger, despite the years apart.
Her head lifted as he offered the spear, taking it delicately with her paws. Her spiders cringed from the heat, crawling into her jaw and spinning webs to help firmly keep it attached. She cringed, immediately covering her face from Yusei, afraid to let him see her friends and the exposed bone. Slowly, she raised the fish, taking a painfully long time to rip off a piece and even longer to chew. It was a delicate process. Eating had always been a hassle to her, and one of the main reasons she rarely ate. It was always embarrassing when food escaped her jaw, or worse, her jaw would slip and fall lower than a normal fox could. It always served to remind her of her freakish nature.
Under her dark fur she was red around the cheeks as she ate, ears once again low and body flat against the ground in shame. The years had changed her. She no longer felt comfortable around Yusei. So long apart had only caused a new doubt within her. Had he forgotten her mutations? Was he watching in horror? Disgust? Both? She refused to look at him, intently focusing on the fish with silvery eyes.
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2015 12:23 am
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2015 10:42 am
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She momentarily paused her eating to watch him meander off, briefly flicking her ears back against her head and emitting a gurgled whine. The plan had been to abandon him again, absolutely, but not yet. She deserved it, though. It wasn't like they had broken up on good terms. Or any, really. Vanishing while your mate slept was probably one of the most twisted things a fox could do, him leaving her now was hardly any worse.
Yet, he returned. For some reason he found his way back, holding food for her little spiders. She blinked back at him, flicking her tail once more in-front of her skinless jaw. He was an idiot – that was the only word for it. He not only fed the woman who had soundlessly left him two years ago, but now he was feeding the eight-legged herd she called friends. No, idiot was too harsh. He was just foolish. He was putting trust in her that she wouldn't rip apart his heart again, and she couldn't promise she wouldn't. The plan was to, once more, flee and never come back.
If only she could speak. If only the deities had provided a tongue for her. Instead, she bore the curse of a skinless jaw and the loss of a tongue. Maybe they had seen her future and punished her accordingly. Perhaps she had earned this mutation. All she wanted was, for five minutes, to become "normal". Just so she could tell him everything. Sadly, that wasn't how the real world worked. She was stuck with her handicap, and he was stuck loving a woman who was essentially a monster.
She could feel his glancing at her time to time, refusing to return the glances. When she finished her fish she dropped the stick, extending her tail to her cheek and assisting the spiders onto the fluff. Slowly dropping her tail to the ground, she briefly watched them scuttle to the food pile before, finally, returning her gaze back to him.
Nestling back onto her stomach, the vixen gave a gentle 'thank you' gesture with her paw. Hopefully he still remembered the gestures she used to communicate basic things. Then again, it had been two years. She wouldn't fault him if he didn't.
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2015 10:54 am
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2015 11:46 am
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It hadn't dawned on her that he had asked her for only dinner. Glancing at the spear, there was a brief hesitation that followed as she flipped over her options. Stay now, leave later. Leave now, never return. Stay now and... never le- Stop. She needed to stop that! She was about to shake her head and choose to leave later when he stood, walking away. Her ears flicked up in alarm, eyes widening as her heart skipped in fright. Wait, no! She wasn't ready yet! Relief crossed her face when he returned, tail wagging once before she could freeze it in place. Her entire body stiffened when he leaned closer, eyes flicking up and closing when she felt a peck on her forehead, snapping back open when he leaned away. They locked eyes for just a second before he turned. He was leaving now. Of course he was. He had no obligation to her. They weren't mates. They weren't anything.
She watched his back, ears flicking back as her heart sank. She had been prepared for them to part, yet it hurt. Her body tightened around itself as a whine escaped her despite her best efforts. She hadn't meant to emit that sound, yet it seemed her body betrayed her once again. She didn't reach out for him, deciding that perhaps this was for the best. She doubted her strength lately, she might have failed to leave him and once again stuck the male with a woman who couldn't even make him proud.
Hell, wasn't she being egotistical? Who said he even wanted her back? Why did she keep assuming he would stay forever if she allowed him? Maybe he did have a mate. Maybe he just wanted to see her as a friend. She was an idiot to assume.
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