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 Posted: Thu May 14, 2015 4:46 pm
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It was hard to breath--had been hard to breath since Zaire had sent his last message. Cryptic and absolutely anxiety inducing.
For the first hour the monster boil had spent his time pacing around his room, mind running wild and shoulders hunching up around drooped ears as he struggled to rein in the worry that threatened to cripple him. Periodically he swung by his desk in his endless cycle of the room, peeking at his phone, looking for a message, and making increasingly high pitched whines when the screen showed nothing new. At a certain point he'd had to stop, sinking down on the edge of the bed and dropping his head down into his palms.
Then, only a moment later, he was up and heading out the door, walking swiftly down the hall to Zaire's room and using his key to let himself inside. The mahamba wasn't there, but it had only been a very thin hope. Still, the absence of his boilfriend at the moment, with the short exchange of messages they'd shared, was very nearly crushing for Jory. He could feel himself growing warm, pulse thundering in his ears, and as the room began to spin he was crawling up and onto the bed to pull his legs up and bury his face against his knees.
The next few hours were spent fighting off tears--and failing miserably at it--and just sitting blankly as awful thoughts spread like a cancer through his mind.
Zaire was in a rut. He'd quit his job. He was out.
The played over and over, twisting and evolving, and finally dissolved into unpleasant dreams as the boil fell asleep on Zaire's side of the bed, pale fingers still wrapped around his phone.
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Posted: Thu May 14, 2015 6:38 pm
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Every single day was the same, Zaire couldn't stand it anymore. Nerves were being rubbed raw and the monster didn't know how to fix it without being unfaithful. Though strangely Zaire had a little trouble entertaining his fall back idea, even with the options held with it, all cuter than the last. It was probably Helki's fault, the way he had cried in front of him and Jory when he saw them together. Or maybe it was the thought of Jory ending up that way because of him, or because love. Regardless of why something had to happen.. he couldn't stand this rut.
Couldn't stand the deep fried smells, the gang of giggling ghouls behind the counter, the obnoxious twerps that haunted the food court. But what snapped the monster was cleaning the tables, one swipe two swipe. As he cleaned a table away several set of eyes watched the monster. That tingle of spine gave them away, but Zaire ignored it, as much as he could. Finishing his work he went back towards the counter when he heard it, a loud annoying call of hey burger boil, you missed a spot. Normally the words would have rolled off but today they boiled blood.
Glowing eyes narrowed and the last thing Zaire remembered was his boss yelling at him before he was fired for lifting a boil a little younger than him up by the shirt and shoving his face down into the shake he spilled all over the table. Oops. Not that the job loss was particularly cared for but it would be hard to explain to Jory why they couldn't go out as much. Harder still to figure out how to tell him, should he lie? What if the other monster got afraid of his temper? Had he noticed it escalating lately in Zaire's boredom? What if he tried to leave Zaire? Tried to break up with him?
Selfishly, Zaire couldn't stand the thought of Jory running away from him...and he decided long ago when he told Jory he loved him that he would probably do something terrible to Jory if he tried to leave. So he lied.
The first thing, first time, first warning was all on his lover. And then it was out of sight and mind after just a few short text. Jory knew, that was all Zaire could offer at the moment because even he didn't know what he would eventually end up doing and having to apologize for. And when he got like this it was hard to remember things, mainly the feelings of others. But in the moment Zaire didn't care honestly, even with the risk. The hours that had passed after the message of him going out had been all about the mahamba and anything that would bring the monster pleasure.
It was past midnight when the door opened and slowly a smell of spice and perfume seeped into the room, following it a dull glow of blue eyes. A pull of shirt and the mattress dipped. Jory. How long had he been here, not that it wasn't where he belonged and not that a part of Zaire didn't selfishly know he would be waiting. After a moment he curled around Jory silent but placing a kiss to the earthy scented blue skin of the boils neck.
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Posted: Thu May 14, 2015 7:12 pm
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He didn't hear the door, didn't wake to Zaire's presence until the boil was crawling into bed beside him, and the jerk into consciousness was so subtle he doubted the larger monster had noticed, not if the delicate brush of lips to the back of his neck was any indication. For a moment Jory just lay there and tried to will himself to relax again, mostly succeeding, and thanked Jack that his eyes didn't glow in the dark. That Zaire couldn't see that wide, unsure gaze focused too intently on the wall beside the bed. The initial weight at his back, the brush of a large hand over his side as an arm curled around his waist and pulled him backward had brought a wave of relief so intense it had almost brought on a fresh round of tears.
He was still relieved. Somewhere in the quagmire of his muddied mind that relief still lingered. Zaire was home. He was home where he belonged, and the curve of that large body spooning against his back was so so familiar. The brush of lips on his neck had, as always, brought a soft flutter to his chest. If that had been the only things he'd noticed, that would have been fine. He could have forgotten the last handful of hours, the worry, the anxiety. It would have been fine. Just a bad night, just a little hiccup that had been all smoothed over with a little time apart.
But that wasn't the only thing he noticed. It was impossible, this close, not to notice it. That sweet, spicy scent that clung to Zaire's skin and hair. It filled his senses with every breath. There was no escaping in, no breath shallow enough not to pull in that cloying perfume, not even if be breathed through his mouth.
He was choking on it.
The tension returned slowly, starting at the boil's core and spreading out and out until even his fingers had closed tightly in the blankets, clutching them. His jaw set, knees pulled up closer to his chest, and the tail that usually slipped between the larger boil's legs in the night withdrew from him, wrapping up in a protective loop around himself. He withdrew, as much as he was physically able, without actually slipping from Zaire's grasp and leaving the bed.
He didn't know what to do, didn't have a damn clue what to say. Questions rested on the tip of his tongue, but he sealed his lips around them, too afraid to ask. Too scared that any little thing could shatter the balance that had felt so sure a few days ago, but felt fragile and breakable now.
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Posted: Fri May 15, 2015 3:06 pm
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Zaire hadn't noticed the jerk back into consciousness from his boilfriend, instead the monster was focused on the heat. That anger melting warmth only Jory and the press of his body could bring. Oblivious to the world around as he selfishly began to nuzzle the sweet scent of perfume away and cover it with that of Jorys. Mind blank for the most part though at the blackest corner wondering what had happened to him, wondering why this was the only thing that when held in his grasp tonight felt right.
This didn't make sense to a creature so fickle.
Spooning against the smaller monsters back, hands lightly trailed the skin, hungrily wanting to regain what they had missed. It was in their greedy caress that the tension began to make itself known and with it a hot wash of guilt. Zaire could tell before all the simple movements had been made what was happening. Jory was curling in on himself, worried, anxious and more than likely suspicious of the strange new scent that hung in air and late hour. Jack. Zaire knew this would happen long before he did what he did, but then it hadn't mattered, maybe because a part of him still assumed he was the same creature.
Now that it mattered, most, the monster was at a loss.
Could only words make things better? Was anything broken yet? A thousand and one questions assaulted mind as tanned arms clung childishly and strong around the curled body. "Mine." A growl broke the uncomfortable silence then another, "....calm down...I came back...didn't I?" Zaire kept his tone soft, steady and slowly lips kissed what blue skin could be reached to try and soothe via affection. Thick tail coming up to try and push between legs and tail to get the slender one back to him.
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Posted: Fri May 15, 2015 3:35 pm
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The arm around him tightened, and a soft, helpless sound escaped past blue lips before he could stop it. He could feel Zaire's deep voice growling through his back, into the back of his neck with that single possessive declaration. It made him shiver, as it so often had, but not entirely in a good way, not this time. He went still, save for the turn of his head to hide his face against the other boil's pillow. Lost on how to feel, how to react to this, what it even meant.
All he really knew was that he felt absolutely awful in this moment. For the whole of the evening. The last time he'd felt even remotely close to this anxious was when Zaire's family had visited and stolen away the monster's attention.
This felt worst.
This hurt.
He didn't respond to the kisses, and the loop of that thick tail would find nothing but resistance when it tried to force the thinner one back around. Instead Jory wrapped it tighter, tucking it around his knees as an anchor as he lay rigid and miserable in his Boilfriend's arms, smelling the unfamiliar feminine scent that still clung to him.
Coming back didn't make it all better, not if he'd done something truly unfortunate while he'd been away.
It started as a fine trembling, and slowly grew until he was shaking in earnest. Moisture and heat burned his eyes, a knot was forming in his throat, and it felt like a huge fist was closing around his chest. "Where were you?" He sounded fragile, his voice barely above a whisper and unsteady, half muffled into the pillow.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2015 5:46 pm
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The helpless, soft, sound was like a knife piercing to the thick skinned monster. Alien to the noises typically made and loved. A thump of heart and pulse raced, headache incoming. This wasn't a thing experienced yet, to have Jory recoil from touch, to be so resistant to comfort. Zaire didn't like it, not a bit this was new, difficult, anxiety inducing and infuriating. Rattling the blue eyed boil down to his very core and causing arms to become a little crushing around the smaller form in grasp. Jory was his, how dare he resist him, even with what he had done.
But more than all of that....
This hurt and to know that Jory was hurting him was unbelievable.
Silence surrounded them and Zaire forced himself to still for a moment. And when he did smell of the perfume covering skin became nauseating. A sinking feeling rolled over bringing with it a growl of a whimper. To avoid it, all of it, Zaire's face pressed roughly down into the mess of white hair, inhaling deeply as Jory began to tremble. Childishly wanting to crush the other monster in embrace until he surrendered and turned to face and accept him. But the growth of steady shaky motion was already chipping away more of the monsters will, self.
"Where were you?"
The fragile sounding words pained Zaire in a way unfamiliar, a way unwelcome to ever occur again. A hand moved, sliding up into white hair and coiling into the locks. "Look at me." For once the lazy, easy-going sway to his words was lost, a firmer demanding tone in play as fingers began to try and force Jory to do just that.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2015 6:22 pm
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Awful questions that kept echoing through his mind as the arm around him tightened to near painful. It did nothing to sooth the smaller boil's shaking, if anything it made it worst. Anxious already, Zaire's growing unease was feeding into it, making it worst. Ugly little voices in his head kept asking questions, echoing doubts. They were supposed to love each other, why did it hurt so much? Wasn't he enough for Zaire?
There had always been that ever present doubt that he just wasn't enough for the other monster. Not good enough, not experienced enough, not attractive enough. Just...not enough, in anyway. It was so easy to ignore those doubts when things were going well. In Zaire's arms, in his company, that other boil's attention directed only at him. It had been so easy to fall into a false confidence, to think more of himself, place value in himself. It just made all of this so much worst.
Zaire's growled whimper pulled at things low, but it wasn't the usual effect a noise like that could garner. It make his stomach knot, and he stiffened when the other boil pressed in close to bury his face in against the back of Jory's hair.
Even that slid of fingers through pale hair wasn't a comfort. It made him shiver, goosebumps rolling over his arms, but he just seemed to curl all the tighter against himself and the pillow he was hiding against. At least until a solid grip closed in snowy locks, pulling. It was a gentle, but demanding tug. Something that should have pulled a very different sound from the afanc, but what passed his lips Zaire turned him around to face him was pained, matching the wide, teary eyes that snapped up at him.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2015 7:29 pm
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No, no! Jory wasn't suppose to further tuck in on himself, this was all wrong!
What have you done, the question a first and on a frantic loop in head with the response from his lover. You've ruined it followed and taunted the monster as he struggled against his strength. Childish behavior was wanting to tantrum at the plaguing thoughts that Jory was being lost. If Jory would just look at him, if Zaire could just show him how sorry he was. But the other monster was being stubborn and hiding, making frustration grow and making Zaire lose a little self control as fingers twisted to gain it back.
When a pained noise left the afanc's lips and wide watery orbs landed in view of glowing eyes Zaire felt a trickle of hot warmth touch his cheek. "Jack damn it... I'm sorry. I'm sorry...I." Reeling back he was off the bed, repeating the apology as tanned hands rubbed over his face. In an instant Zaire was at the other side of the room. Facing the corner like a scolded child, hands moving to rest against the cold surface and keep him upright. Jory was hurt, he had hurt Jory. Never one to take responsibility the full weight of this was killing him. But instead of trying to wipe the tears away from blue soft cheeks and reassure both of them like he wanted, his body refused to move in fear of further hurting.
After a moment Zaire turned, back hitting the wall as body slid down it. Blue glowing eyes focusing on the bed, on Jory. Lips parted and shakily he began, "...I was at a club in Halloween town." Zaire's tone dipped low as he continued, "...I danced with ghouls." Which was how he was covered in perfume, their bodies had rubbed against him several times and not once were pushed away. Even though at the back of mind in the moment the monster knew it wasn't what he wanted.
Until.
"One of them kissed me.." He couldn't remember which, because unlike the crying face upon his bed she wasn't memorable. "but all I could think about was you. So I came back." His head dipped and he went full force on the other, no shame in begging because Jory was what he wanted, "I'm...a jacking idiot...but...I love you... I just..I didn't want to be there, I don't want them. It was just where I always went...to cure myself...but tonight it wasn't the same." No. He wasn't the same, Zaire realized this now, but was it too late?
The rambling stopped and Zaire called to the other for mercy, going on his knees and crawling towards the bed slowly, hesitantly, "Jory..please."
Forgive me.
Forgive me.
Forgive me!
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 4:02 pm
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The second Zaire let him go Jory was scrambling up to put his back against the corner, knees drawn up, arms and tail curling tightly around his legs as he stared wide-eyed across the room at the other monster. Watching him warily as he touched hands to the wall, then turned a slid down to sit with his back to it, meeting baby blues. The afanc didn't know what he felt in that moment, other than overwhelmed. Rising panic and anxiety rising above the rest.
At least Zaire was apologizing. It was something. Maybe it was just for the too-tight grip on his hair, the rough handling, but Jory would take it.
It didn't fix things though. The tears slowed, but there was still a world of hurt on those delicate features as the other monster explained where he'd been and what he was doing. None of it made him feel any better. If anything, the fact that Zaire had even wanted to go off without him made it worse. And the ghouls... Jory had known the mahamba liked ghouls as well, had even been jealous of his boilfriend's coworkers until he'd gotten to know them better.
Of course now he had to wonder...
He blinked at the mention of a kiss, and the knot in his throat tightened. It felt like the world had dropped out from beneath him, stomach flipping uncomfortably, and he tore his gaze away, looked down at the floor between them as he lowered his head to rest his chin on his knees.
"but all I could think about was you. So I came back."
"I'm...a jacking idiot...but...I love you..."
"Jory..please."
The tears were back, and the afanc brought a hand up to rub at his cheek miserably. "What did you need to be cured of?" His gaze lifted again, fixing on Zaire's face as he started to crawl towards him. Jory didn't move. "I don't understand why you needed to go."
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Posted: Fri May 22, 2015 6:42 pm
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The break felt when Helki had cried in front of him was nothing compared to what each tear that fell from the afanc's blue eyes brought. Where that had been a dull unknown pain, this was a clear and precise pain. This was heartbreak. Zaire whined softly unable to think beyond wanting to capture Jory and hold him till forgiveness came, emotions were high and starting to confuse into a dangerous part of mind. But the other less twisted parts of them kept Zaire still at least until that fragile look broke the monster into movement.
Jory. He had to touch him, let him feel it was alright before....
Something drastic happened...
Before Jory realized he was really to good to be with Zaire.
The apologies kept coming, for the hurtful grasp, for leaving Jory alone with his mind, for overwhelming the other monster, for the ghouls, for all of it. But Zaire wasn't naive enough to think those simple words would fix things though, no, its why he needed to be closer. Crawling towards the tear stained monster a soft whimper of a noise was emitted into the dark of the room. Shame long forgotten due to the need for his lover. Blue glowing eyes softening to a look never before seen by anyone but Zaire's own mother.
Zaire hit the mattress and slowly tanned hands reached, touching the legs that were bought up to chest. Leaning in lips touched bare toes, kissing in a worshiping manner before he pulled back to speak. "..I'm not use to routine...nothing has ever been ....consistent in my life Jory..so when I got bored...I'd move on.. " No. He couldn't say that...could he? "The stress and routine boredom of work got to me....I snapped on a customer and was fired..." He began then paused, trying not to make this worse than it was, trying to explain without scaring his boilfriend off. " I made a mistake, I was angry and wasn't thinking..so I tried to cure that side of myself without showing it to you...." It was mostly true. "Because nothing before....mattered... " But me. The monsters voice dipped an octave lower and a few more kisses touched the tops of toes, then his head moved to rest on the feet like a puppy begging for his masters forgiveness. "But it didn't work....because you were all I could think about...so I couldn't stay away and everything got worse....like I said...I'm an idiot.." His chest got heavy and a deep breath released to tickle out over toes. Till you came along and it all changed, please don't say I realized it to late.
"..Can you..forgive me?.." It was a plea, one held in a steady tone as shaky hands moved up the legs and his head lifted up to try to meet the others gaze. "I love you. Only you."
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Posted: Sun May 31, 2015 6:28 pm
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Even as Zaire came closer, reaching out to touch his legs with careful, gentle fingers, Jory didn't move, barely reacted. He was watching the larger monster, but the tears were still falling freely from soft blue eyes, even with the delicate brush of lips against his toes. Even with the apologies, even with the distressed, whimpering sounds his boilfriend was making. Jory had to wonder what inspired them, this. If it was for the love of him, for true remorse, or for having not gotten away consequence free after a night away, doing things her should not have been doing.
It was an ugly thought, and awful one. It nagged and bit and dug at the Afanc as Zaire begged and pleaded.
He was quiet as the mahamba tried to explain, though his expression certainly crumbled at that first unfortunate attempt. Bored. Zaire was bored with him. It had the Afanc's breath hitching, body going even more tense under those so gentle caresses. There was the very real urge to flee. To scramble off the bed, away from Zaire, and race across the room to the door, escaping into the hall. His chest was rising and falling fast and faster, on the verge of all out sobs. The only thing that kept him seated was what followed those poorly chosen words.
It was hard to breath. The lump in his throat was solid and large, and his heart was hammering painfully in his chest. He stared down at the other boil, felt that soft tickle of warmth against his feet as he exhaled and the cool brush of fingers creeping up the sides of his legs. The ugly thoughts lingered, tried to overwhelm everything else, tried to overwhelm him and close him off, but other things were getting through.
"I love you, too." It wasn't forgiveness, not yet. He'd said it because he meant it, because he still, even now, meant it. It was automatic. His throat worked as he swallowed, hands coming up again to rub at his cheeks and his eyes, the heels of his palms pressing hard against the sockets to blot out the room around him.
He was not a strong monster. He never had been, and no matter how much better he got, he never would be. It took everything he had not to just fall back into Zaire's arms, to let him hold and comfort him, to listen to that deep voice whisper near his ear. It took everything he had to say what he needed to say. "You can't do that," he managed weakly, finally lowing his hands again to look down at the other boil. "I can't bare it, it hurts too much. I won't go through that again." Even as his voice shook, there was something finite about it. A last warning. "You can't do that ever again."
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 2:39 pm
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There was a sinking feeling starting from the pit of stomach and slowly working a hot knot up into chest. A rock, a lump, whatever you called it the thing hurt and only seemed to make the situation worse. Hands tried to keep steady and stay soft as Jory started to react to touch finally. Easy, he coached himself mentally trying to remain calm. Trying to keep thoughts at bay. Terrible, terrible thoughts of Jory fleeing him or worse dumping him. The thoughts that raced through mind as the smaller monsters chest started to heave uncontrollably and tears seemed to fall faster.
For once in their relationship Zaire knew the panic and anxiousness his boilfriend dealt with and it was the worst. As blue lips parted to speak Zaire sat on his knees, still and waiting like an eager pup for instructions. Anything, it was truly at that point that anything the other asked for it would be done come hell or high water. You can't do that the words were on repeat in mind as Jory continued to speak and with a tone that told Zaire this was final. This was it, the last chance to be given and if he were to ******** up again it would be over.
For good.
Zaire never had before had such an ultimatum it was terrifying. But just to have things go back to that normal he had so desperately tried to fight, Zaire was willing. The monsters head dipped, forehead to legs and he inhaled sharply muttering something that sounded like a thank you. After a moment to regain himself, Zaire moved to close in on Jory, hands taking to both sides of the wall by the others head as he climbed the familiar body.
Leaning in close he spoke, soft, seemingly still broken but promising, "never again....now kiss me..."
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 7:56 pm
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Jory was swiping at his cheeks again as he watched Zaire bow over his feet, rubbing away the tears. By now his skin had gone from the usual soft blue to an almost ashy tone. Paler, but not the usual milky white that meant a blush. This was indicative of just how upset he was, how awful he felt--as if the tears hadn't been enough of a queue. He was still crying, not the awful, broken half sobs, but something breathless and tired. The tears were slowing now, but only because he was running on empty.
It still wasn't forgiveness, but Zaire took it as a promising enough sign to move closer. Jory stiffened as hands found the wall to either side of his head, and he made a small noise at the weight of the other boil' body settling against his legs and the hands that had still been wrapped around them. The latter he pulled free, and they hovered rather uselessly at his sides before the mahamba was leaning in, going for a kiss. The words were a nice promise, they helped to ease a little of that awful strain, but...
A hand came up between them, resting on Zaire's chest, exerting just enough pressure to keep him from easily closing that distance.
For a very long moment Jory stay like that, gaze never leaving the other boil's face. He was searching his expression, looking for the lie, but found only sorrow and confusion. Glowing blues were just as damp as his own eyes.
Slowly, as if he weren't sure it was actually a good idea, the afanc eased his hand back and away. He didn't move forward, didn't willingly offer up the kiss Zaire wanted, but he wasn't stopping him now, and his legs were dropping from between them, folding Indian style on the mused blankets, tail still curled tightly around them. Passive, he'd let Zaire come to him, let the other boil do what he could to try to fix what he'd broken.
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 8:17 pm
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His lips were very still beneath Zaire's at first. Tanned fingers had caught his hand, slid between his own in a almost desperate grip, and he'd squeezed back, clinging to that large hand. If he wasn't careful here, he could fall. He had to be strong, not just for himself, but for the both of them, if this was going to work. Jack, he wanted it to work. He really did. Jory loved the boil in front of him, he truly did, but love wasn't supposed to hurt, not like it had tonight.
When he felt the brush of a cool tongue against his lips he finally responded, head tipping and lips parting, a small, helpless little noise rising up in his chest as he squeezed the other boil's fingers.
He was still confused, still not entirely sure he forgave Zaire, but all that regret and sorrow carried through the hard press of the kiss, that grip on his hand, the brush of that thick tail against his hip. Jory wanted to believe he was being earnest, wanted to believe that promise.
As the larger boil drew back he'd feel the brush of soft fingers against his face as Jory's palm slid up to cup his cheek. He couldn't say he forgave him, not yet. The anger and the hurt were still there, but at least he wasn't leaving. That counted for something, right?
"Can we get some sleep?" The boil was exhausted. Emotionally, physically. What little sleep the boil had gotten before Zaire had returned home hadn't been very restful.
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