Witness to Friends or Cut them off?

[ChibiHigh]

How far does our responsibility as Christians go? If you have an atheist friend who is clearly living in sin, do you separate from them to avoid having your own walk be hurt or do you witness to them?

Just something that I've been debating about for a while. What if in this person's life I'm the only example of Christianity they have and if I leave they just fall back into their old ways? Obviously I'm not psychic so I don't know if there will ever be another source of Christianity that enters these peoples' lives, but at the same time do I put myself first question  

[Spirit Reborn]

ChibiHigh

hm..that's a good question, sis! I think it's both.
Let me explain: I think it's important to be separate from them in a sense of not fellowshiping with them/ not hanging out with them that they end up influencing you more than you do them.

For example, when others claim that Jesus hung out with 'prostitutes' and 'drunkards'. He didn't hang out, he preached and witnessed to them.

In your case.. I would first pray about your friend. For God to soften and open their heart to Him. Pray for God to give you an opportunity to speak with your friend in this matter and He will guide and help you recognize when the time is right to open the subject of Him. This will take a lot of patience on your part as God may be preparing your friend to hear what you minister to them. Not only patience but spending a lot of time in prayer and in His Word daily to help you hear/recognize His voice/prompting more. It's also important to understand that your friend is in desperate need of a Saviour, regardless if they know it or not and regardless if they want that or not. Be loving about it : ) with a non-judgemental attitude towards them and whatever sins they may be practicing. Demonstrate your love for God through your actions and words. On the otherhand, It's also okay to completely separate yourself from them and love them from a distance. You can pray for them even if you're not hanging out/speaking with each other. But definitely pray about your concerns and the situation to God. Let Him know what's going on and what you need help with. emotion_bigheart  

[Nenanah]

Jesus ate with questionable people. ninja

I think it depends how firm you are in the faith, if you are easily knocked off the right path then I would advise you to stay away from certain crowds until you are very firm in your faith.

I have friends that are very much against Christianity, I have friends that have been in and out of jail, I am also friends with addicts. Do I get swayed into doing any bad stuff that they do? No. I have told them that when we hang out to leave the drama at the door, and I don't allow any illegal going on's around me. They know that if they try to get me involved in questionable activities that I will stop letting them come around me. I hang around them because I am the only good influence that they have in their life. I pray for them and I try to answer any questions that they have regarding the Lord. I don't cast out people and ban them from being in my presence just because they have done bad things or reject the Lord. Again though, I don't recommend that people should do this until they are confident in their faith and have prayed about it before hand. If you don't find yourself able to hang around them for whatever reason then please still keep them in your prayers. Love them from a distance. Pray for them and speak blessings over them.  

[Lady Vizsla]

I think it's important to continue witnessing by the way you live because the main goal of our lives is to serve God and so we should never give up on anyone no matter how far gone they are. If they get annoyed by you or don't want you around then you have no choice but to leave, but otherwise you should still witness.  

[ChibiHigh]

Spirit Reborn

ChibiHigh

hm..that's a good question, sis! I think it's both.
Let me explain: I think it's important to be separate from them in a sense of not fellowshiping with them/ not hanging out with them that they end up influencing you more than you do them.

For example, when others claim that Jesus hung out with 'prostitutes' and 'drunkards'. He didn't hang out, he preached and witnessed to them.

In your case.. I would first pray about your friend. For God to soften and open their heart to Him. Pray for God to give you an opportunity to speak with your friend in this matter and He will guide and help you recognize when the time is right to open the subject of Him. This will take a lot of patience on your part as God may be preparing your friend to hear what you minister to them. Not only patience but spending a lot of time in prayer and in His Word daily to help you hear/recognize His voice/prompting more. It's also important to understand that your friend is in desperate need of a Saviour, regardless if they know it or not and regardless if they want that or not. Be loving about it : ) with a non-judgemental attitude towards them and whatever sins they may be practicing. Demonstrate your love for God through your actions and words. On the otherhand, It's also okay to completely separate yourself from them and love them from a distance. You can pray for them even if you're not hanging out/speaking with each other. But definitely pray about your concerns and the situation to God. Let Him know what's going on and what you need help with. emotion_bigheart

You make an interesting point. It was just something that I was thinking about because of my little brother. He's in high school and has been having problems with his friends to the point my dad had to say something. We were talking about it and how much his friends have been changing him over the school years. Obviously in his case it would be much harder to cut them off cold turkey because he goes to school with them, they're in his class, on his social media, and on his sports teams and are his club leaders. My case is a little different especially since I'm in college but it's an interesting (if not, troubling) thing to see developing.  

[Spirit Reborn]

ChibiHigh

You make an interesting point. It was just something that I was thinking about because of my little brother. He's in high school and has been having problems with his friends to the point my dad had to say something. We were talking about it and how much his friends have been changing him over the school years. Obviously in his case it would be much harder to cut them off cold turkey because he goes to school with them, they're in his class, on his social media, and on his sports teams and are his club leaders. My case is a little different especially since I'm in college but it's an interesting (if not, troubling) thing to see developing.

I'm sorry to hear about your little brother.. that can be pretty tricky and difficult to separate oneself when the people he hangs out with are seen on a daily basis. Plus the need of acceptance is pretty strong in high school. I wish I could say something that will help but all I can do is pray for you both. Give all your worries and concerns over to Him : ) I know how hard it can be to shoulder these issues on our own shoulders. It can feel pretty heavy and frustrating at times, but the great part of giving over our cares to Him is that it frees us from having to worry and just fully trust that He is capable of helping us even if we don't sense/recognize any progress/good fruit coming out of our situation. Keep persevering in your faith in Him. emotion_bigheart  

[Lady Vizsla]

Arachnoia

Lady Kariel

I think it's important to continue witnessing by the way you live because the main goal of our lives is to serve God and so we should never give up on anyone no matter how far gone they are. If they get annoyed by you or don't want you around then you have no choice but to leave, but otherwise you should still witness.

This is a great answer. Actually applies very much to my own life...

Glad I could help smile  

[ChibiHigh]

I feel I should say that this wasn't a prayer request (Although I really appreciate it) but my attempt at having a discussion sweatdrop  

[starry night-163]

ChibiHigh

How far does our responsibility as Christians go? If you have an atheist friend who is clearly living in sin, do you separate from them to avoid having your own walk be hurt or do you witness to them?

Just something that I've been debating about for a while. What if in this person's life I'm the only example of Christianity they have and if I leave they just fall back into their old ways? Obviously I'm not psychic so I don't know if there will ever be another source of Christianity that enters these peoples' lives, but at the same time do I put myself first question

I know the Bible says that bad company corrupts good morals (1 Corinthians 15:33) but Paul in his letter to the Corinthians also says this:
I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves. (1 Corinthians 5:9-13)

I do not have an answer for your specific situation but I hope what I give you in this post would help guide you to the right decision assuming you haven't already made it but it is not bad to have friends who are unbelievers, not even atheists, as Paul said in his letter, he never told the Corinthians to seperate from unbelievers because then they'd have to baisically leave this world if that was to happen because they're everywhere, we can't escape from them, they'll always be around, even in churches there are unbelievers as well, even those who profess to be Christians and even think they're saved but in reality they are not (Matthew 7:21-23). The reality is that if you live your life as God has called you to and avoid doing sinful things, this person will see that and they might distance themselves from you or leave on their own because they might realize you have nothing in common anymore or they might think you're no fun anymore, or it will do something along these lines, it would depend on the situation but all unbelievers hate God and they hate what's good so therefore they will hate you, if you're following Christ this world will hate you (Matthew 10:22, John 15:18-25). Now it could also have a different effect, they might see your life and desire to come to God because of it and through the power of the Gospel they might come to Christ, they must however believe the Gospel in order to come to Christ and how will they believe in what they have not heard? Assuming they haven't heard it, which not many people really know the true Gospel, they know either an incomplete Gospel or a false Gospel. So therefore you must make sure that you don't just live your life according to the Gospel but that you also preach the Gospel or how will people come to Christ? (Romans 10:11-17) . I suggest you pray and seek God's council for what you're asking because I think it would depend on your situation, like if they're causing you to stumble then maybe it would be good to cut them off? I don't know though, I couldn't say because if they're causing you to stumble then I think that would also depend on the situation. Like for example maybe there's something you could do to avoid the things they do that cause you to stumble instead of cutting them out of your life completely? That's just an example of one possibility but I'm honestly not sure what the answer would be for your situation and that would be something I'd struggle with as well, trying to figure out what to do in that situation because that would be hard because I think it would depend. If the person is a threat to your physical life, as in them threatning to kill you or something like that then yes it would definatly be right to cut them out of your life (I'm not saying they are but I want to use that as an example). I hope this makes sense and please pray and seek the Lord on this matter first and formost before making a decision.  

[Voxbury]

starry night-163

...it would depend on the situation but all unbelievers hate God and they hate what's good so therefore they will hate you, if you're following Christ this world will hate you (Matthew 10:22, John 15:18-25).

I question whether or not you've ever actually met an atheist based on this rhetoric. Atheists by definition cannot hate God any more than they can hate a unicorn or a mermaid. They don't believe in God, and therefore have no opinion about him besides lacking a belief in him. They appreciate what is good, because that's the human thing to do. without doing so, civilization could never have progressed. The atheist typically has no problem with you personally. More often than not, it's a problem with religion, and believing things on faith. Many, if not most, atheists come from a religious background and were likely believers themselves at one point. Not agreeing with the Bible isn't the same thing as hating people who do agree with it. Insisting you know what they feel and think isn't a good way to begin a conversation with anyone and only breeds animosity.

As for the original question, you should never cut that person out. Think of it this way: you see your friend, or even a stranger, walking on train tracks. You see a train coming at them down the line a ways. The train keeps coming but your friend ignores it. There is a certain point at which you become obligated to tackle your friend to get them out of the way, and this is so much more important than that. Do you let them face the train, unaware of the consequences, or scream and tackle them? How much do you have to hate your friend to not tell them about the possibility of everlasting eternal life and warn them of endless torture.

An atheistic perspective might be, "if you believed that this were true, and you don't talk to me about it a lot, there are two reasonable conclusions: you either aren't my friend and don't care what happens to me, or you don't really believe it at all and it's just a show."

Just my two cents, of course.

ChibiHigh

Quoting you since this forum doesn't seem to be used much and want you to see it.

 

[ChibiHigh]

Voxbury

starry night-163

...it would depend on the situation but all unbelievers hate God and they hate what's good so therefore they will hate you, if you're following Christ this world will hate you (Matthew 10:22, John 15:18-25).

I question whether or not you've ever actually met an atheist based on this rhetoric. Atheists by definition cannot hate God any more than they can hate a unicorn or a mermaid. They don't believe in God, and therefore have no opinion about him besides lacking a belief in him. They appreciate what is good, because that's the human thing to do. without doing so, civilization could never have progressed. The atheist typically has no problem with you personally. More often than not, it's a problem with religion, and believing things on faith. Many, if not most, atheists come from a religious background and were likely believers themselves at one point. Not agreeing with the Bible isn't the same thing as hating people who do agree with it. Insisting you know what they feel and think isn't a good way to begin a conversation with anyone and only breeds animosity.

As for the original question, you should never cut that person out. Think of it this way: you see your friend, or even a stranger, walking on train tracks. You see a train coming at them down the line a ways. The train keeps coming but your friend ignores it. There is a certain point at which you become obligated to tackle your friend to get them out of the way, and this is so much more important than that. Do you let them face the train, unaware of the consequences, or scream and tackle them? How much do you have to hate your friend to not tell them about the possibility of everlasting eternal life and warn them of endless torture.

An atheistic perspective might be, "if you believed that this were true, and you don't talk to me about it a lot, there are two reasonable conclusions: you either aren't my friend and don't care what happens to me, or you don't really believe it at all and it's just a show."

Just my two cents, of course.

ChibiHigh

Quoting you since this forum doesn't seem to be used much and want you to see it.

Sorry for the super late response

I somewhat agree with your first point

However, with your second point let me put it this way; if I tell my friend that walking on the train tracks but they decide to continue walking towards the tracks- that's on them. I'll call out to them and try and pull them back but once they step on the tracks I'm letting go. I'm not getting myself killed just because my friends didn't listen and made a bad decision, there has to be some responsibility from the other party as well. I love my friends, and I'll fight for my friends, but ultimately the decision is theirs, and I'm not going to put myself in danger for them.  

[Voxbury]

ChibiHigh

Voxbury

starry night-163

...it would depend on the situation but all unbelievers hate God and they hate what's good so therefore they will hate you, if you're following Christ this world will hate you (Matthew 10:22, John 15:18-25).

I question whether or not you've ever actually met an atheist based on this rhetoric. Atheists by definition cannot hate God any more than they can hate a unicorn or a mermaid. They don't believe in God, and therefore have no opinion about him besides lacking a belief in him. They appreciate what is good, because that's the human thing to do. without doing so, civilization could never have progressed. The atheist typically has no problem with you personally. More often than not, it's a problem with religion, and believing things on faith. Many, if not most, atheists come from a religious background and were likely believers themselves at one point. Not agreeing with the Bible isn't the same thing as hating people who do agree with it. Insisting you know what they feel and think isn't a good way to begin a conversation with anyone and only breeds animosity.

As for the original question, you should never cut that person out. Think of it this way: you see your friend, or even a stranger, walking on train tracks. You see a train coming at them down the line a ways. The train keeps coming but your friend ignores it. There is a certain point at which you become obligated to tackle your friend to get them out of the way, and this is so much more important than that. Do you let them face the train, unaware of the consequences, or scream and tackle them? How much do you have to hate your friend to not tell them about the possibility of everlasting eternal life and warn them of endless torture.

An atheistic perspective might be, "if you believed that this were true, and you don't talk to me about it a lot, there are two reasonable conclusions: you either aren't my friend and don't care what happens to me, or you don't really believe it at all and it's just a show."

Just my two cents, of course.

ChibiHigh

Quoting you since this forum doesn't seem to be used much and want you to see it.

Sorry for the super late response

I somewhat agree with your first point

However, with your second point let me put it this way; if I tell my friend that walking on the train tracks but they decide to continue walking towards the tracks- that's on them. I'll call out to them and try and pull them back but once they step on the tracks I'm letting go. I'm not getting myself killed just because my friends didn't listen and made a bad decision, there has to be some responsibility from the other party as well. I love my friends, and I'll fight for my friends, but ultimately the decision is theirs, and I'm not going to put myself in danger for them.

"Somewhat agree" implies a disagreement somewhere in what I said. What would you say the problem is?

At what point in the metaphor is this person on the tracks? If you believe the Adam and Eve story and original sin are literal, then isn't everyone on the track at birth? And being that the case, at what point do you give up on someone and stop trying? This is their eternity, after all. Isn't it important to try until that person is dead to convince them?

And then there's always the place in the metaphor it goes awry. The train in this metaphor, which I'm assuming is an angry God, could stop, but won't. So the atheist would likely blame the conductor more than the wandering traveler. It's hard to make the "you send yourself to hell by choosing to go there" argument fly in such circles. They reply generally with something like, "I choose not to go to a hell, should it exist. There. I've made my choice. If I end up there, it's because your loving god decided to send me to eternal torture."

And then we must consider the denominations that don't believe in a literal hell and opt for post-mortem salvation or annihilation theories.  

[FloralStardust]

This is a hard question to answer.. I've had many friends who all had different opinions but it never effected our friendship. What did effect it was the person themselves, they went from being good people to being bad people. By bad I mean they picked up drug habits and started smoking then began stealing and lying. Once they lied to me and I found out I ended it on the grounds of my rule:
I don't care what it's about, do not lie to me.
That is really the only rule I have for being someones friend. Is it odd? Probably, but being the only requirement it usually gets followed. Always set rules for anyone who wants to be in your life. I learned that long ago. Yes, you can share some time with a person and help them through a problem but that doesn't make you a friend to them. God said to love your neighbor and forgive their sins, he never said to keep them in your life.
What it really boils down to is if you want that person with you or not. God can't tell you who to talk to or not, that's up to you.