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 Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:59 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 5:48 pm
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After a certain childhood trauma, I have been doing the same. I cannot say it has been easy but God is definitely helping me through.
I also want to marry for sexual and emotional reasons but I know I am surely not ready for any of that.
when I feel lonely or out of place I go to Jeremian 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
If it were time for me to have a husband, then God would give me one, but since I believe it might do more harm than good, he has not brought me to him.
So, I read my Bible, psalms and sing songs and pray for God, Our Lord and Savior Jesus, to help me and I stay in contact with family(who believe in Jesus) and ask them to pray for me and with me.
I'll be praying for you, I would love to stay in contact with you if that's alright! I'll be waiting on your invite! biggrin
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 5:56 pm
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CheyenneServant I am a recovering sex and love addict and now am striving to live for God. I desperately want to be married for sexual and emotional reasons and try to wait patiently on God's prefect timing, yet I'm finding it hard to. I am working on my relationship with God and becoming a whole person.
I understand what you are going through and I am afraid I do not have much of an answer but here is what I have pieced together so far for myself.
1: Do everything you can to reframe from any form of sin.
2: Do not expect perfection. You are human are you are bound to fail. Even David, Moses, Solomon and all others have failed at one point or another.
3: Do not stop trying. To God it is better that you try and do your best every time and fail rather than not to try at all. If you stop trying to reframe from sinning then you stop trying to move forward towards God. Even a person who stumbles and falls can still crawl an inch a day.
4: Should you trip and stumble keep getting back up.
5: Ask go for forgiveness. Current or past sin it is wise to ask him for forgiveness.
6: Do not put off asking for forgiveness. If you sin today then ask him to forgive you that day. If you sinned yesterday ask him for forgiveness today for you may not have the chance tomorrow.
7: Make sure to talk to him. Speak with him with your voice so that you can be heard. Though he knows what you pray in your heart he likes to hear you speak to him.
8: Do not marry for pleasures of the body. A marriage without love is doomed to fail. Seek out love for another and you shall have all that follows. Pleasure of the flesh is fleeing but love is eternal.
9: Accept who you are and try to improve or do better even if you fail.
10: Ask God for love and he shall bring someone to you.
11: You will always be tempted to sin so you must grow stronger and ask God for help. He seeks to help you in all things that are good.
12: Do not lose faith or heart. I know it is hard now and it doesn’t get easier but do not lose faith in God.
13: God is testing you as is his will. He is wanting to push you to your limits as he does with all but he never gives you something you cannot conquer. For if he did that than free will would be useless. That’s why when all is said and done it is a choice.
14: Remember that God loves you no matter what you have done or what you do or what you will do. He wants to see you happy no matter what but he doesn’t hide his hand when events happen.
15: Do not be angry with God. The Lord guides you with his staff and when you step out of line you will but struck with a rod. So even though it is hard to stay in line sometimes he does this to protect you not to harm you.
16: God knows what you need even before you ask him but you should still ask him. Few do and so it is a rare event for him for he knows you have the courage to speak to him.
I pray that God grants you your heart's desires and that you will be with him in the end. |
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 10:06 am
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CheyenneServant I am a recovering sex and love addict and now am striving to live for God. I desperately want to be married for sexual and emotional reasons and try to wait patiently on God's prefect timing, yet I'm finding it hard to. I am working on my relationship with God and becoming a whole person.
Three things:
1. Don't torment yourself imagining things you want to do when you're finally married. Be careful of who or what you place in front of your eyes (and your mind's eye). Seeing / imagining something you want, but don't or can't have at the moment (in a godly way), is to torment yourself. So, any romantic, lovey dovey, sexual entertainment—via movies, TV shows, songs/music, fanfiction, flirty conversations, daydreams, etc—avoid them. If you don't fuel the desire, it dies down.
2. Spend a lot of time with God on your mind, heart, and mouth. That's how you fuel a godly fire in place of a carnal fire; you can't think about two different things at once. So, imagine things about God instead of imagining things about an earthly partner. Imagine scenarios that illustrate God's nature: how justice, forgiveness, compassion, "self-sacrificial care for others" looks like. Praise God, sing to him, speak to him, listen to him (his words). Spend a lot of time doing that (placing your mind on him and things about him). That's a relationship you're already in (as opposed to one you're still waiting to start).
And go brag about your "fiance" to others emotion_awesome lol. When you're in a relationship, you tend to talk a lot about the person you're with, to the point that they dominate the subject of all your conversations (personally, I'm celibate, but when my friends started dating, this is how they acted, without fail). "He said this", "he said that", "we went here", "we went there", "my parents like him" (or "my parents don't like him" lol). To the point of annoyance because they're so infatuated—focused, passionate and excited—about the relationship and the person. The guy she started dating has become that important to her. This is what it looks like when someone is head over heels about God too: they somehow find a way to get the conversation back on him—to everyone else's annoyance. LOL. But who cares, you surely won't, because you're in love. :P
3. Instead of thinking of others as a potential spouse, think of them as a friend or a sibling. Then concentrate on being a good friend or sibling back. Similar to a point Lion of the Lord said (in point #8), pursuing the relationship to more intimate levels will come eventually, but "seek out love for another and you shall have all that follows. Pleasure of the flesh is flee[t]ing, but love is eternal". Explore love in the areas of life that are not romantic; grow and develop in these areas first, treating everyone as a friend/sibling in the meantime:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
John 15:13 (NIV)
13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 11:25 pm
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mindviperitachi After a certain childhood trauma, I have been doing the same. I cannot say it has been easy but God is definitely helping me through. I also want to marry for sexual and emotional reasons but I know I am surely not ready for any of that. when I feel lonely or out of place I go to Jeremian 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. If it were time for me to have a husband, then God would give me one, but since I believe it might do more harm than good, he has not brought me to him. So, I read my Bible, psalms and sing songs and pray for God, Our Lord and Savior Jesus, to help me and I stay in contact with family(who believe in Jesus) and ask them to pray for me and with me. I'll be praying for you, I would love to stay in contact with you if that's alright! I'll be waiting on your invite! biggrin
thank you so much for this |
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 11:26 pm
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Lion of the Lord CheyenneServant I am a recovering sex and love addict and now am striving to live for God. I desperately want to be married for sexual and emotional reasons and try to wait patiently on God's prefect timing, yet I'm finding it hard to. I am working on my relationship with God and becoming a whole person. I understand what you are going through and I am afraid I do not have much of an answer but here is what I have pieced together so far for myself.
1: Do everything you can to reframe from any form of sin.
2: Do not expect perfection. You are human are you are bound to fail. Even David, Moses, Solomon and all others have failed at one point or another.
3: Do not stop trying. To God it is better that you try and do your best every time and fail rather than not to try at all. If you stop trying to reframe from sinning then you stop trying to move forward towards God. Even a person who stumbles and falls can still crawl an inch a day.
4: Should you trip and stumble keep getting back up.
5: Ask go for forgiveness. Current or past sin it is wise to ask him for forgiveness.
6: Do not put off asking for forgiveness. If you sin today then ask him to forgive you that day. If you sinned yesterday ask him for forgiveness today for you may not have the chance tomorrow.
7: Make sure to talk to him. Speak with him with your voice so that you can be heard. Though he knows what you pray in your heart he likes to hear you speak to him.
8: Do not marry for pleasures of the body. A marriage without love is doomed to fail. Seek out love for another and you shall have all that follows. Pleasure of the flesh is fleeing but love is eternal.
9: Accept who you are and try to improve or do better even if you fail.
10: Ask God for love and he shall bring someone to you.
11: You will always be tempted to sin so you must grow stronger and ask God for help. He seeks to help you in all things that are good.
12: Do not lose faith or heart. I know it is hard now and it doesn’t get easier but do not lose faith in God.
13: God is testing you as is his will. He is wanting to push you to your limits as he does with all but he never gives you something you cannot conquer. For if he did that than free will would be useless. That’s why when all is said and done it is a choice.
14: Remember that God loves you no matter what you have done or what you do or what you will do. He wants to see you happy no matter what but he doesn’t hide his hand when events happen.
15: Do not be angry with God. The Lord guides you with his staff and when you step out of line you will but struck with a rod. So even though it is hard to stay in line sometimes he does this to protect you not to harm you.
16: God knows what you need even before you ask him but you should still ask him. Few do and so it is a rare event for him for he knows you have the courage to speak to him.
I pray that God grants you your heart's desires and that you will be with him in the end.
I am really so thankful that you posted this advice in a direct and clear way. This was very helpful. |
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 11:30 pm
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cristobela CheyenneServant I am a recovering sex and love addict and now am striving to live for God. I desperately want to be married for sexual and emotional reasons and try to wait patiently on God's prefect timing, yet I'm finding it hard to. I am working on my relationship with God and becoming a whole person.
1. Don't torment yourself imagining things you want to do when you're finally married. Be careful of who or what you place in front of your eyes (and your mind's eye). Seeing / imagining something you want, but don't or can't have at the moment (in a godly way), is to torment yourself. So, any romantic, lovey dovey, sexual entertainment—via movies, TV shows, songs/music, fanfiction, flirty conversations, daydreams, etc—avoid them. If you don't fuel the desire, it dies down.
2. Spend a lot of time with God on your mind, heart, and mouth. That's how you fuel a godly fire in place of a carnal fire; you can't think about two different things at once. So, imagine things about God instead of imagining things about an earthly partner. Imagine scenarios that illustrate God's nature: how justice, forgiveness, compassion, "self-sacrificial care for others" looks like. Praise God, sing to him, speak to him, listen to him (his words). Spend a lot of time doing that (placing your mind on him and things about him). That's a relationship you're already in (as opposed to one you're still waiting to start).
And go brag about your "fiance" to others emotion_awesome lol. When you're in a relationship, you tend to talk a lot about the person you're with, to the point that they dominate the subject of all your conversations (personally, I'm celibate, but when my friends started dating, this is how they acted, without fail). "He said this", "he said that", "we went here", "we went there", "my parents like him" (or "my parents don't like him" lol). To the point of annoyance because they're so infatuated—focused, passionate and excited—about the relationship and the person. The guy she started dating has become that important to her. This is what it looks like when someone is head over heels about God too: they somehow find a way to get the conversation back on him—to everyone else's annoyance. LOL. But who cares, you surely won't, because you're in love. :P
3. Instead of thinking of others as a potential spouse, think of them as a friend or a sibling. Then concentrate on being a good friend or sibling back. Similar to a point Lion of the Lord said (in point #8), pursuing the relationship to more intimate levels will come eventually, but "seek out love for another and you shall have all that follows. Pleasure of the flesh is flee[t]ing, but love is eternal". Explore love in the areas of life that are not romantic; grow and develop in these areas first, treating everyone as a friend/sibling in the meantime:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
John 15:13 (NIV)
13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
Hi Maria (I think it's you but it's been awhile since we last spoke. I changed my username. I was lilacink and jesuslittleprincess) if it's you, maria, you have been so helpful as you always have been.
You're so full of great advice |
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 8:14 am
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CheyenneServant cristobela CheyenneServant I am a recovering sex and love addict and now am striving to live for God. I desperately want to be married for sexual and emotional reasons and try to wait patiently on God's prefect timing, yet I'm finding it hard to. I am working on my relationship with God and becoming a whole person.
1. Don't torment yourself imagining things you want to do when you're finally married. Be careful of who or what you place in front of your eyes (and your mind's eye). Seeing / imagining something you want, but don't or can't have at the moment (in a godly way), is to torment yourself. So, any romantic, lovey dovey, sexual entertainment—via movies, TV shows, songs/music, fanfiction, flirty conversations, daydreams, etc—avoid them. If you don't fuel the desire, it dies down.
2. Spend a lot of time with God on your mind, heart, and mouth. That's how you fuel a godly fire in place of a carnal fire; you can't think about two different things at once. So, imagine things about God instead of imagining things about an earthly partner. Imagine scenarios that illustrate God's nature: how justice, forgiveness, compassion, "self-sacrificial care for others" looks like. Praise God, sing to him, speak to him, listen to him (his words). Spend a lot of time doing that (placing your mind on him and things about him). That's a relationship you're already in (as opposed to one you're still waiting to start).
And go brag about your "fiance" to others emotion_awesome lol. When you're in a relationship, you tend to talk a lot about the person you're with, to the point that they dominate the subject of all your conversations (personally, I'm celibate, but when my friends started dating, this is how they acted, without fail). "He said this", "he said that", "we went here", "we went there", "my parents like him" (or "my parents don't like him" lol). To the point of annoyance because they're so infatuated—focused, passionate and excited—about the relationship and the person. The guy she started dating has become that important to her. This is what it looks like when someone is head over heels about God too: they somehow find a way to get the conversation back on him—to everyone else's annoyance. LOL. But who cares, you surely won't, because you're in love. :P
3. Instead of thinking of others as a potential spouse, think of them as a friend or a sibling. Then concentrate on being a good friend or sibling back. Similar to a point Lion of the Lord said (in point #8), pursuing the relationship to more intimate levels will come eventually, but "seek out love for another and you shall have all that follows. Pleasure of the flesh is flee[t]ing, but love is eternal". Explore love in the areas of life that are not romantic; grow and develop in these areas first, treating everyone as a friend/sibling in the meantime:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
John 15:13 (NIV)
13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
Hi Maria (I think it's you but it's been awhile since we last spoke. I changed my username. I was lilacink and jesuslittleprincess) if it's you, maria, you have been so helpful as you always have been. You're so full of great advice
Yup, it's me. 3nodding And anytime~ ^o^
Just sharing what our Heavenly Father has helped me to see.
May your relationship with him deepen and bear copious amounts of fruit. yum_strawberry |
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