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Cinnabun Gryffie Vice Captain
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 Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:17 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:44 pm
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Bréanainn Cian Conri
Charm's Professor(4-7)||Former Gryffindor||Father of Two
⊗⊗⊗⊗⊗
Bréanainn hadn't been waiting very long before his date had shown up, in a beautiful and elegant dress. And he almost recognized her immediately, a huge smile forming on his face as he did so. She looked...beautiful...and Bréanainn almost was in awe at her, staring at her a bit before saying anything. She had kissed him during this time and he of course returned the notion with a kiss to the lips. "Just when I t'ought t'at you couldn't get any more beautiful. It is nice to see you," he said to her, taking her in an embrace. His smile stayed on his face, growing a little wider as the time went. Despite deciding before that that he would wait to give the gift he got for. "Happy Valentine's Day Chrissy. I was going to give you t'is later, but I figured I might as well give it to you now." He gave her the box that he had in his pocket, a pink tourmaline necklace was within the box, the tourmaline being one of Chrissy's October birthstones. It wasn't cheap, but she didn't need to know that.
"So, you want to take a walk around t'e garden? It truly is a beautiful night tonight," he said, taking a look around the garden for a few seconds. It was all decorated so a walk around might be fun. The sky was star-filled, smell of flowers looming in the brisk air. It was all nice to him. It was much better to him than being in the hotter, more dense, louder Great Hall. Plus, the place was full of kids; so inside wasn't the ideal setting.
⊗⊗⊗⊗⊗
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 11:39 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2015 9:57 pm
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Nah, you don't know me
Lightning above and a fire below me
You cannot catch me, cannot hold me
You cannot stop, much less control me
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁Where am I? Garden
Who am I with? Elliott
What am I doing? Deciding his lap is a good place to lie down
What am I thinking? I knew I'd find him out here!
Who's Important to me? Elliott Holt
What am I wearing? Speak of the Devil...▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
Jesse felt Elliott freeze when he was rubbing his scalp and the teasing smile slowly faded to one of confusion and a touch of hurt. He hadn't said anything, had he? He then recounted in his head what he'd said and winced. Elliott hadn't mentioned it, and Jesse had thought that was because Elliott didn't need a reminder of how drunk he was. Apparently, however, that wasn't the case, and he felt his heart thumping wildly at the idea of Elliott being mad at him. He quickly rose off of Elliott's lap and scooted a bit away, trying to keep out of range just in case. Rationally he knew Elliott wouldn't hit him, but he couldn't help it. It was like when he was younger and Paul had gotten angry with him. That never ended well for him. He swallowed, trying to calm down his racing heart and remind himself that Elliott was not Paul and wouldn't do that.
"Sorry. The word was mumbled, and he bit his lip and looked around the garden awkwardly. He sighed, deciding to dare look back over to Elliott to see if he was still mad. "Umm, what did I say that you got mad over? I didn't mean for that, honestly." He was giving Elliott more fuel, he knew that. If at any point Elli was going to hate him, it was going to be over the fact that Jesse didn't understand why he was annoyed this time. All the other times, it was because Elliott had been studying. Not so this time. He shuffled a bit, trying to determine what to do. He was glad for his mask, because it at least disguised some of the hurt he was feeling. He just lowered his head more, thinking that if nothing else, Jesse being confused might annoy him more.
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
OOC:
When it rains, it pours
When the floodgates open, brace your shores
That pressure don't care, it breaks your doors
Say it's all you can take, better take some more
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:58 pm
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c υ r r e n т l y ╔═══════════════════════════════╗ ♥ јεṡṡε сαlṿεɾτ ♥ Looking Fine at the Gardens with Jesse xxxғeelιngxxx Annoyed xxxтнιnĸιngxxx ❝ Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? ❞ ╚═══════════════════════════════╝
αṉḋ ώ h α τ ïṡ τhïṡ l ε α ќ ï ṉ ģ Ⴣεсτïṉģ ṃ ÿ ε ÿ ε ṡ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxxxxx
ḋøεṡ τhε ø ï l τhατ ïṡ ḋ ɾ ï ρ ρ ï ṉ ģ ṃεαṉ τhïṡ ïṡ α с ɾ ÿ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxx
ώïll ï εṿεɾ вε ṡ ø ṃ ε τ h ï ṉ ģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ τø h ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxx
øɾ αṃ ï јυṡτ α в ø ï l ε ɾ ώïτh ṉ ø τ h ï ṉ ģ ï ṉ ṡ ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxx
═════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
spaceElliott was caught off guard when Jesse very suddenly moved away from him, and frowned, staring at his boyfriend through narrowed eyes. What the hell? When he apologized, and asked what he'd said, Elliott was torn between feeling guilty, and a small flare of annoyance that Jesse even had to ask. What had he said?! Seriously?! But obviously his own reaction must've been more severe than he'd thought. Probably on account of the mask, he'd subconsciously assumed it would mask some of his frustration and not checked it as well as he should have. He typically kept his temper under control better than that. The Ravenclaw ground his teeth, frustrated. He pinched his brow, not sure what to even say. He didn't want... He didn't want to talk about what he'd said at the party. It wouldn't end well for him. He knew it wouldn't. But Jesse was upset and he didn't have a ******** choice in the matter.
spaceHe swallowed, eyes closing to try and hide how afraid he was. "I just... don't want to talk about it," he said quietly. "The... the drunk thing. I... I was stupid, and I don't like being stupid, and I especially don't like being mocked for being stupid." And he most especially didn't like being mocked for being stupid and knowing that his feelings weren't returned. But he didn't say that, because that was the part of the conversation he didn't want to have. Which... he was being stupid again. If Jesse didn't feel the same way he did by now, he was never going to, right? The break up was coming. Probably soon. Why was he hanging on and trying to avoid conversations that would lead to a break up when he knew it was going to happen anyway? Was he trying to prepare himself? Because that was just as idiotic as saying he loved the Slytherin in the first place had been. He hated being illogical. But as much as he knew that's what this was, he couldn't make himself say anything else on the subject. Couldn't make himself do what obviously needed to be done. Because he didn't bloody want to. He opened his eyes finally, Jesse's positioning feeling like he'd been punched in the gut. Yeah, he was ******** everything up. He knew he would. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, not even sure what to do at this point. He wanted to go to Jesse and hold him. Kiss him. But that would just make it worse, probably. Unwelcome.
spaceHe looked away, biting the inside of his cheek and trying not to do something else stupid. Like cry. He used to cry all the time, after his parents had died, but he'd long since grown out of that. Now, though... Now he wanted to cry. It felt like losing his parents all over again, but in slow motion. Instead of being quick, coming out of no where, it was like he was stuck in the middle of a train track, watching the train coming from miles away and unable to move away. Except this time, Jesse wasn't going to be dead, he was just not going to be His anymore, and he'd still have to see him, all the time, in lessons and... And at home. And eventually Jesse would get another boyfriend, and he'd have to see that, too. At least they only had a year left of school... Once Jesse was graduated, once he had a job, Elliott doubted he'd stick around long. Probably want to get as far away from him as possible. He'd want to do that. Kind of wanted to do it right now, actually, because he was furious with himself for not getting this right.
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════
xxx❇ ❇ ❇x ï ώαṉτ α l l τ ø ḋ α ÿ
xxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x ḋøṉ'τ ώ α ṉ τ τø h ε α ɾ ÿøυ ṡ α ÿ
xxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h ï ṡ ; ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h α τ "
xxxxxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ'ɾε ṉ ø τ α l ï ṿ ï ṉ ģ τhïṉģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ "
 (( OOC: )) ...
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 10:37 pm
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Nah, you don't know me
Lightning above and a fire below me
You cannot catch me, cannot hold me
You cannot stop, much less control me
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁Where am I? Garden
Who am I with? Elliott
What am I doing? Deciding his lap is a good place to lie down
What am I thinking? I knew I'd find him out here!
Who's Important to me? Elliott Holt
What am I wearing? Speak of the Devil...▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
Jesse blinked as he watched Elliott from the corner of his eye, and then blinked again when he realized that Elli was talking about the confession, not the drunkenness. He what? He took off his mask, deciding that no, he hated the thing right now anyway and it was preventing him from looking at Elliott properly. So all this time it was because he thought that he was stupid for admitting he was in love with Jesse? A giggle erupted from the redhead then, and then erupted into full laughter as he realized that he'd been freaking out for nothing. That soon subsided as he realized the other thing that must have pissed Elliott off, and Jesse sat awkwardly trying to figure out what to say. "Elli, you're... You're not stupid, okay. I am. I'm the idiot here, since I thought you were pissed at me for making fun of the fact it took you getting drunk to admit it and not that... That I didn't say it back."
He chewed the inside of his cheek, considering his words carefully. He had to be careful here, didn't he? He felt his heart constrict at his next words, knowing that he was going to rip open old wounds that were barely scabbed over because he was terrified of speaking the words aloud. "I... I l... I love... I-love-you-too!" He hung his head in shame as he realized he'd said it. It was out there. Now whether Elliott found him as pathetic as he felt right now was the question. He glanced up and bit his lip, realizing that yes, Elliott looked like he was going to cry and Elli did not cry. He'd never seen it, and it was a spooky sight as he leaned over and wrapped his arms around the other teen. "I'm sorry, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, oh god, I mean if I had known, I-I would have said it sooner."
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
OOC:
When it rains, it pours
When the floodgates open, brace your shores
That pressure don't care, it breaks your doors
Say it's all you can take, better take some more
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 11:11 pm
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c υ r r e n т l y ╔═══════════════════════════════╗ ♥ јεṡṡε сαlṿεɾτ ♥ Looking Fine at the Gardens with Jesse xxxғeelιngxxx Annoyed xxxтнιnĸιngxxx ❝ Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? ❞ ╚═══════════════════════════════╝
αṉḋ ώ h α τ ïṡ τhïṡ l ε α ќ ï ṉ ģ Ⴣεсτïṉģ ṃ ÿ ε ÿ ε ṡ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxxxxx
ḋøεṡ τhε ø ï l τhατ ïṡ ḋ ɾ ï ρ ρ ï ṉ ģ ṃεαṉ τhïṡ ïṡ α с ɾ ÿ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxx
ώïll ï εṿεɾ вε ṡ ø ṃ ε τ h ï ṉ ģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ τø h ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxx
øɾ αṃ ï јυṡτ α в ø ï l ε ɾ ώïτh ṉ ø τ h ï ṉ ģ ï ṉ ṡ ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxx
═════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
spaceElliott felt like he'd been slapped when Jesse started laughing. His jaw tightened and trembled, hands clenching into fists so he could feels his nails forming half-moons against his palm. Stupid, he'd been so bloody stupid. He wanted to get up and just walk away, disappear. He didn't want it to be over but he didn't think he could take this, could handle Jesse bloody laughing at him for being in love with him. He squeezed his eyes shut again, willing himself not to cry, because that would just make him look even more foolish. He hated looking foolish. And he hated that he'd done something so incredibly stupid and landed them in this position, because it would've been so much easier to let it go if he'd still been able to lie to himself and say he didn't feel how he felt. In his head, he was trying to shut out the laughter, a string of swear words that even he hadn't known he knew twisting through his thoughts, trying to be louder and failing completely.
spaceThe sudden silence when it finally died down was both welcome and terrifying. So Jesse was done getting his fun in, but what was going to happen now? It wasn't like the Ravenclaw had any clue, considering how horrible he was with people. Jesse was his best friend, and his boyfriend, and had been for years, and he didn't have a clue what the redhead was going to do, ever. Certainly not now. The statement that he was stupid fell flat, because he was pretty sure that, if he wasn't, he wouldn't have done something so deserving of being laughed at. He swallowed, eyes still shut, and when he spoke, his voice was tense. "I'm not pissed you didn't say it back," he said quietly. Which was true. He wasn't pissed at Jesse for not saying it back. He was frustrated with the fact that he didn't feel the same way. It would be ridiculous to be pissed off at the other boy for not returning the statement in kind. Either it would mean he expected Jesse to lie, which would be completely mental, or that he was angry with Jesse for not feeling the same way, which wasn't fair. It wasn't Jesse's fault if he didn't love him. It was his, for not... For not doing whatever it was he should have done to make Jesse love him. He didn't even know what that was, so how was he supposed to be angry with the Slytherin over it? He was the one who'd ******** up, somehow. And he didn't even know how.
spaceWhen Jesse did finally say the words, though, Elliott's eyes snapped open, staring at the Slytherin in shock and awe and a million other things. He swallowed, shaking. "You... you don't..." Heart pounding, a tear finally slid free. He swore he hadn't been this miserable since his parents had died. "You don't mean it, though," he said quietly, tone dumbfounded. The Slytherin's insistence that he would have said it sooner if he'd known only made Elli more sure that he hadn't. If he'd meant it, why wouldn't he have said it? He knew Elliott loved him, it wasn't like there was any question if the feelings were reciprocated. He had no reason not to've said it. "You're only saying it because you think you have to, because I did say it, because I... I do mean it. But you don't. You don't have to do anything." Feeling like a child again, Elliott's knees went to his chest, arms wrapping around them, and he laid his head down to hide that he was crying. "I'd rather feel like an idiot than you say things you don't mean," he whispered. "I... I'd rather be hurt you didn't say it at all than you lie about it to make me feel better. At... at least if you don't say it, I know where I stand." He inhaled sharply, choking back a sob, wishing the ground would swallow him up and make all this go away. Turn it into a distant worry. Not an actual thing he was having to live through. This was why he was so detached. Logical. Cold. Because it meant that things didn't hurt. He didn't like things to hurt.
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════
xxx❇ ❇ ❇x ï ώαṉτ α l l τ ø ḋ α ÿ
xxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x ḋøṉ'τ ώ α ṉ τ τø h ε α ɾ ÿøυ ṡ α ÿ
xxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h ï ṡ ; ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h α τ "
xxxxxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ'ɾε ṉ ø τ α l ï ṿ ï ṉ ģ τhïṉģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ "
(( OOC: )) ...
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Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 10:33 pm
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Nah, you don't know me
Lightning above and a fire below me
You cannot catch me, cannot hold me
You cannot stop, much less control me
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁Where am I? Garden
Who am I with? Elliott
What am I doing? Feeling like he just got suckerpunched
What am I thinking? He thinks I'm lying? Why? I don't lie to him!
Who's Important to me? Elliott Holt
What am I wearing? Speak of the Devil...▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
Jesse felt Elliott's words hit him like a punch to the gut. Wait, Elli thought he was lying? He disentangled himself from his boyfriend, his face a mask of horror as he fought to swallow against the lump in his throat. No, nononono! This wasn't happening! A million thoughts invaded his mind at once, how to fix this, how to hide the hurt he was feeling, where to run to get away from this situation, and none of them were coming to mind. None were registering, and he felt a few tears slip free as he struggled to think. A darker, more sinister voice rang in the back of his mind, that of Paul and the older man telling him there was nowhere to run to hide, that he was nothing and would forever be worthless because he wasn't capable of being anything but what he wanted Jesse to be. Jesse tried to drive the man's voice out, but it followed him, mocking him, and he pressed his hands to his ears, trying to block it out.
His eyes then snapped open, staring over at Elliott. "I-I'm not worthless. I'm just as capable of feeling as you are. You can't turn me on and off like that. You can't!" He then lunged forward, grabbing Elliott by the shoulders and pinning him underneath him. His lips then found Elli's, trying to make the other teen realize just how much he actually did care about him. Somewhere in the back of his mind was the thought that he shouldn't do this, that he'd scare Elliott, but he wasn't quite thinking rationally. He was scared, scared that Paul was right and that he really didn't feel anything and he was lying to himself. He then released the kiss and hung his head, his forehead touching one of Eli's shoulders as he mumbled. "I'm not Paul. I feel. God damn it, I feel. I'm not what Paul wants me to be. I-I can't be." He was trying and failing not to cry, because he couldn't take it. He'd heard it for years, and he didn't want to hear Elli telling him he couldn't love. He could, and he kept repeating that in the back of his mind amid the whispers from his past.
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
OOC:
When it rains, it pours
When the floodgates open, brace your shores
That pressure don't care, it breaks your doors
Say it's all you can take, better take some more
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Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 11:12 pm
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c υ r r e n т l y ╔═══════════════════════════════╗ ♥ јεṡṡε сαlṿεɾτ ♥ Looking Fine at the Gardens with Jesse xxxғeelιngxxx Annoyed xxxтнιnĸιngxxx ❝ Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? ❞ ╚═══════════════════════════════╝
αṉḋ ώ h α τ ïṡ τhïṡ l ε α ќ ï ṉ ģ Ⴣεсτïṉģ ṃ ÿ ε ÿ ε ṡ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxxxxx
ḋøεṡ τhε ø ï l τhατ ïṡ ḋ ɾ ï ρ ρ ï ṉ ģ ṃεαṉ τhïṡ ïṡ α с ɾ ÿ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxx
ώïll ï εṿεɾ вε ṡ ø ṃ ε τ h ï ṉ ģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ τø h ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxx
øɾ αṃ ï јυṡτ α в ø ï l ε ɾ ώïτh ṉ ø τ h ï ṉ ģ ï ṉ ṡ ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxx
═════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
spaceElliott's already stiff muscles seemed to constrict further at Jesse's outburst, his head snapping up to look at the Slytherin in confusion. When had he- He hadn't said- Before he could complete the thought, or even hope to say anything, though, Jesse was very suddenly on top of him, pinning him down, and he was kissing him. It was desperate, and Elliott returned it just as desperately, a hand sliding to the back of the other boy's neck to try and prolong the kiss as long as possible. Frustration and fear and every other thing he'd felt channeled itself into the kiss, and then it was over, and he was gasping for air but wishing it hadn't ended. He'd rather suffocate from the kiss than anything else. He was suddenly too hot, too many layers over fevered skin, breathing heavily, and his head fell back. What had even just happened? Scattered thoughts tried to regroup, to remember what Jesse had said, but he was speaking again, voice muffled against Elliott's shoulder. Still, the Ravenclaw was confused. He ground his teeth, frustrated with the knowledge that this was yet another case of something going on in his boyfriend's head that the Slytherin hadn't shared with him, hadn't told him. He knew almost nothing about why Jesse had the issues he had, thanks to the general refusal to talk about it. Dammit, if he knew things, he wouldn't do this, he wouldn't ******** up like this. But he still wasn't thinking straight, couldn't collect his thoughts, because Jesse was still on top of him and he found that he rather liked him there. Especially right now.
spaceHe stared up at the sky for a long moment, trying to regroup. He was still being stupid, some small part of him realized that. He'd upset Jesse, triggered something, and he had no idea what. It'd happened before, but never to this extreme. He wasn't equipped to handle it. He wasn't equipped to handle any relationship, really, but he felt particularly out of his depth with this one. It seemed like there was a lot of emotional availability and social grace that was necessary, and he was sorely lacking in both those respects. But for some reason, Jesse had picked him, of all people, so he had to at least try. He swallowed, eyes sliding shut, and turned his head to press his lips behind the Slytherin's ear in a kiss. "I'm sorry," he said again, quietly, nearly choking on the words. Dammit, he was awful at this. The hand that'd rested against the nape of Jesse's neck slid up along his skull and scratched gently, trying desperately to soothe. He didn't know what else to do. "I shouldn't... I shouldn't have doubted you, I'm sorry. I... Jesse, I love you." His voice cracked slightly then. The first time he'd said it, really said it. Drunk, that was different. It wasn't any less true, but it didn't mean as much. People did all sorts of stupid things when they were drunk, things that didn't mean anything at all. This had meaning. A lot of meaning. More than anything he'd ever said, if he were honest. His free hand found his boyfriend's chin, directing his face towards his own, and he kissed him again, softer than before, gentle, and he found himself praying he'd fixed it as best he could. He didn't want to break this, not on his own. If it broke, it broke, and he was still sure it would. And now it would hurt so, so much more, for both of them, but it was good now, and he didn't want to let it go.
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════
xxx❇ ❇ ❇x ï ώαṉτ α l l τ ø ḋ α ÿ
xxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x ḋøṉ'τ ώ α ṉ τ τø h ε α ɾ ÿøυ ṡ α ÿ
xxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h ï ṡ ; ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h α τ "
xxxxxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ'ɾε ṉ ø τ α l ï ṿ ï ṉ ģ τhïṉģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ "
(( OOC: )) ...
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 8:30 pm
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What the hell is wrong with me?
My mom and dad weren't perfect,
But still you don't hear no crying a** bitching from me,
Like there seems to be on everybody's CD
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁Where am I? Garden
Who am I with? Gia
What am I doing? Staying away from the flood of hormones...
What am I thinking? ...Really?
What am I wearing? Here for Reasons▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
Carver rolled his eyes at Gia and sighed. Of course she expected him to entertain her. He brought out his skateboard for himself to keep boredom at bay. After depositing his armful, he put his board on the ground and proceeded to balance on it, simply turning it this way and that as he tried to alleviate his own spat of boredom. "You know, I brought this out for my own amusement. Though, if you really wanted to, I could teach you how to ride it. Just up to you and everything. I'm not some show pony though, Mengele." He'd called her that often enough that it was just another nickname at this point. She certainly wasn't going to take it lying down, though. He knew better, as she was likely to try calling him Igor or something. Just the way their friendship seemed to work. He popped one side up and balanced that way, figuring if he fell on his arse, well, that was just him. Might even amuse Gia if he did it.
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
OOC:
All those Saturday
When kids go out and play
Yo I was up in my room
I let the stereo blaze
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 10:27 pm
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Nah, you don't know me
Lightning above and a fire below me
You cannot catch me, cannot hold me
You cannot stop, much less control me
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁Where am I? Garden
Who am I with? Elliott
What am I doing? Feeling like he just got suckerpunched
What am I thinking? He thinks I'm lying? Why? I don't lie to him!
Who's Important to me? Elliott Holt
What am I wearing? Speak of the Devil...▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
Jesse was heaving, his face buried in his boyfriend's shoulder as he tried to reign in his emotions. That was proving to be problematic, as he still heard Paul in the back of his mind, mocking him and trying to get him to break. He wouldn't. He wasn't that way. He was more than what Paul made him, but he knew he was also a mess. He hated that, hated the fact that he couldn't look in the mirror without hating himself. His beginnings were a giant hole, his earliest memories were a mess, and even at school, he was surprised that he didn't somehow manage to alienate everyone with how he was. He wasn't worth all the trouble. He felt Elliott press a kiss to the point behind his ear and heard his apology, and Jesse just buried his face further, trying to figure out how he had even gotten lucky enough to deserve this. He didn't. He hated everything about himself, he hated the fact he was terrified that he couldn't go anywhere alone, he was terrified that he continuously wondered if it was finally the day that Paul found him. He was tired of it, and he didn't know how to make it stop. He wanted it to, but he just didn't know how.
He chuckled a bit breathlessly as he heard Elli reiterate that he loved him, and Jesse just tried to stifle the sob that he wanted to emit. He then felt a finger hook under his chin, bringing their lips together again. Jesse melted into the kiss, just feeling the tension bleed off and relief and exhaustion flood through him with it. When they broke off, he buried his face in the crook of Elli's neck, swallowing thickly before he spoke again. "I-I know. I honestly did. Y-you never had to say anything about it though. I-I was fine if you never did. You never had to if you didn't want to." He took a shuddering breath and then shifted, simply laying his head on Elliott's chest. He didn't care what anyone else saw. He knew there were other people in the garden, but that was their problem if they saw them. "I l-love you too. I don't know why. It just happened. I don't even know why you love me either. I'm a mess. I would have run the other way and never come back if I met someone like me. I'm pretty sure I'm a crazy, broken idiot that can't take care of himself." And it was true. He hid things. He lied when confronted with people trying to ask about him. He ran from a safe place and landed himself with Paul. He didn't even know how Elli put up with him. He would never have.
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
OOC:
When it rains, it pours
When the floodgates open, brace your shores
That pressure don't care, it breaks your doors
Say it's all you can take, better take some more
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 4:58 pm
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 __________________________
"Chrissy"
Christina Anna Dechering
Healing Professor of Hogwarts
Metamorphagus
__________________________
❦Born in Georgia, U.S.A. on October 15, 2002
❦Wand: Rigid, with a spiraled shaft, 11 3/8 inches, Mahogany, Pegasus Wing Feather
❦Former Chameleon Dorm Member at the Salem Institute of Witchfract and Wizardry
❦Emotional State: happy
❦Wearing: pink floral
Currently it is Academic Year of 2031-2032xxx __________________________
Chrissy beamed at Bréanainn's compliment of her looks and said, taking a moment to twirl, "What can I say it is an art form." She grinned as he embraced her, her smile widening as he handed her a box. Inspecting the jewelry sized box she said with a sly smile her eyes twinkling green behind her mask, "Hmm... I wonder what it can be." Opening it she chuckled taking the necklace out of the box and admiring the tourmaline necklace, "Jewelry, but of course. Thank-you, it's gorgeous. Matches my dress even, must be fate," She added as she wrapped the necklace around her neck and then said, "Help me clasp it, please. Thank ya' good sir."
After the necklace was secured she looked to Bréanainn who asked about touring the garden. "A bit cold, though," She said, moving closer to Bréanainn and pulling herself tight to his arm. "Good thing I have you to keep me warm for an evening stroll. We can even claim we're looking for students who are getting a bit too handsy in the privacy of the garden if anyone asks or thinks we're not doing our 'jobs' as chaperons."
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:32 pm
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c υ r r e n т l y ╔═══════════════════════════════╗ ♥ јεṡṡε сαlṿεɾτ ♥ Looking Fine at the Gardens with Jesse xxxғeelιngxxx Annoyed xxxтнιnĸιngxxx ❝ Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? ❞ ╚═══════════════════════════════╝
αṉḋ ώ h α τ ïṡ τhïṡ l ε α ќ ï ṉ ģ Ⴣεсτïṉģ ṃ ÿ ε ÿ ε ṡ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxxxxx
ḋøεṡ τhε ø ï l τhατ ïṡ ḋ ɾ ï ρ ρ ï ṉ ģ ṃεαṉ τhïṡ ïṡ α с ɾ ÿ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxx
ώïll ï εṿεɾ вε ṡ ø ṃ ε τ h ï ṉ ģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ τø h ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxx
øɾ αṃ ï јυṡτ α в ø ï l ε ɾ ώïτh ṉ ø τ h ï ṉ ģ ï ṉ ṡ ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxx
═════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
spaceElliott felt his chest constrict when Jesse said he'd known, frowning and pressing his lips to the Slytherin's head, still scratching at his scalp. Part of him was too busy being glad that he apparently hadn't completely ruined everything to do much else. And yet another part of him was still preoccupied with their positioning, which was very nice and not at all something he should be thinking about. At least some semblance of himself had returned, though, the panic and frustration dying down, and the rest compartmentalized. He knew that his hormones weren't going anywhere, as much as he'd often wished they would (life would be simpler if he were asexual, he was sure of it). But he was fairly decent at ignoring them when something more important was there to distract him, and this was certainly more important. He inhaled deeply, eyes sliding closed, and gathered his thoughts.
space"I don't know when it happened, either," he murmured softly, lips barely brushing his boyfriend's head as he spoke, unwilling to adjust his posture even for the sake of clarity. It did hurt somewhat that Jesse didn't know why he loved him, because he could list a dozen or so reasons he loved Jesse. Starting off with "You put up with my shite," which was quite the selling point. But he didn't know why anyone would love him, so he supposed it made sense that Jesse wouldn't know, either. "But I know every reason I love you. I could list them off and explain every single nuance of them. I know them so well that it's ridiculous it took me so long to admit that's what it was. I got caught up in wondering how I could even know and whether or not it was logical... Everything's always logic with me, isn't it?" He snorted faintly. In truth, it was probably incredibly logical that he had fallen for Jesse. If you removed the utter lack of logic that love required, anyway.
spaceThe hand not in Jesse's hair slid down the Slytherin's back, fingers tracing his spine lightly. Elliott's eyes half-opened, and he pulled away to look down at Jesse. The Ravenclaw grit his teeth. He didn't want... he didn't want to ruin this. The moment was as good as he was likely to ever get. But... but he had to. Because he was logical. And while he might not understand very much about people or relationships, he did understand that communication was important, and there was one area in which their communication sorely lacked. He swallowed, regretting everything before he even spoke. "We... we do need to talk, though," he said, feeling like the absolute worst person on the face of the Earth. "You... Jesse, I don't think you're crazy. Or an idiot. I don't waste time on idiots. But... but we both know that... that you have some... issues. And... I try. I try not to pick at old wounds and hurt you, but I can't... I can't not do that if I don't know what they are. I can't avoid saying things that will hurt you or trigger something or... or ruin this, if you don't let me in." God dammit, he was ******** this up. He couldn't just leave it, couldn't let them have this moment. Couldn't drop it. Stupid, stupid, stupid. But it was too late to take it back. "Jesse, I... I suck at this. All of it, and I told you I was going to, and I wish I didn't, but I do. And... I'm trying not to. Because I love you and I want to be with you and I don't want to hurt you and say or do something that makes you wish you'd never met me. But I... I can't. Unless I know. You... you don't have to tell me everything, you don't have to go into detail, but... but I need to at least know what I'm dealing with. Or... or I'm going to ruin everything. I know I am."
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════
xxx❇ ❇ ❇x ï ώαṉτ α l l τ ø ḋ α ÿ
xxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x ḋøṉ'τ ώ α ṉ τ τø h ε α ɾ ÿøυ ṡ α ÿ
xxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h ï ṡ ; ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h α τ "
xxxxxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ'ɾε ṉ ø τ α l ï ṿ ï ṉ ģ τhïṉģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ "
(( OOC: )) ...
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 11:26 pm
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Nah, you don't know me
Lightning above and a fire below me
You cannot catch me, cannot hold me
You cannot stop, much less control me
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁Where am I? Garden
Who am I with? Elliott
What am I doing? Calming down
What am I thinking? ......................He didn't just ask what I think he did, did he?
Who's Important to me? Elliott Holt
What am I wearing? Speak of the Devil...▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
Jesse felt himself chuckle as he listened to Elliott's description of why he loved Jesse, and had to shake his head minutely. Of course everything had to be logical to Elliott. It always had been, ever since he met the other teen. Heck, he was fairly certain that logic had to dictate that Elli and his brother intervened when they did nearly four years ago. Not that he was ungrateful, in fact, if nothing else, he was beyond grateful. He was just certain that Elliott saw the situation and logically came to the conclusion that something had to be done. Either that or it was Kenneth's protective streak. The older man he was certain was going to murder Jesse's nonexistent 'stepfather'. Jesse wasn't certain he would stop him, either. "Between you and logic, I could almost swear that you were secretly dating it behind my back. I'm probably the complete lack of it to be honest." He sighed, eyes sliding closed as he just let the present permeate his mind, trying to block out the past and just enjoy being with his boyfriend.
However, that peace didn't last, as he felt Elliott shift and say they needed to talk. Jesse froze, staring at the Ravenclaw like a startled deer. Was Elliott serious? He couldn't be, right? Except, it sounded like he was, and Jesse's heart was back to pounding in his heart as he tried not to run. Especially since he was torn. He was comfortable, he was scared, and Elliott was literally asking about his past. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm down. It was a lot easier than he thought it would be, especially with Elli just lightly scratching the back of his head and tracing lines down his spine. Letting out the breath shakily, he sat up reluctantly, hating that he was breaking contact with Elli before he spoke. "You said I didn't have to say everything. I think I can do that. I just..." God, suddenly he wanted to get drunk. It was something that he avoided, saying anything about his past, and now he was faced with the very real fact that what he wasn't saying was doing more harm than good. He hated this, but if Elli was right, he had to say something. No matter what he felt about it.
"I told you about the amnesia, right? That I don't remember anything before I was seven? The first thing I remember was wandering around the streets. I was picked up, taken somewhere, but they kept badgering me with questions. I couldn't answer them. I ran. That's when I ran into P-paul. I didn't know anything, and I went with him willingly, cause he didn't ask questions. He just wanted me to do things. I did them. I didn't know any better, hell, if I had any memories, I might have, but I didn't." He sighed, swallowing. "Then I found out there was a punishment for not doing what he wanted. Sometimes I was beaten, others, locked in a room for days. I ended up getting really good at what he wanted me to do. That whole thing about earning what I got? He taught it to me, and it went on for years. When I found out about Hogwarts, he never wanted me to go. I had to hide the tickets to the train before he took them too and I ended up running away again." He laughed humorlessly. "I guess that's what I'm really good at. Running, I mean. You and Kenneth were the first people that I ever ran into that gave a damn what happened to me. He used to say that I was only worth as much as he said I was worth. No one was ever going to care about anything about me, and I was just his puppet. I was only supposed to do what he wanted me to do."
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁
OOC:
When it rains, it pours
When the floodgates open, brace your shores
That pressure don't care, it breaks your doors
Say it's all you can take, better take some more
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:46 pm
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c υ r r e n т l y ╔═══════════════════════════════╗ ♥ јεṡṡε сαlṿεɾτ ♥ Looking Fine at the Gardens with Jesse xxxғeelιngxxx Annoyed xxxтнιnĸιngxxx ❝ Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? ❞ ╚═══════════════════════════════╝
αṉḋ ώ h α τ ïṡ τhïṡ l ε α ќ ï ṉ ģ Ⴣεсτïṉģ ṃ ÿ ε ÿ ε ṡ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxxxxx
ḋøεṡ τhε ø ï l τhατ ïṡ ḋ ɾ ï ρ ρ ï ṉ ģ ṃεαṉ τhïṡ ïṡ α с ɾ ÿ ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxxxxx
ώïll ï εṿεɾ вε ṡ ø ṃ ε τ h ï ṉ ģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ τø h ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxxxxx
øɾ αṃ ï јυṡτ α в ø ï l ε ɾ ώïτh ṉ ø τ h ï ṉ ģ ï ṉ ṡ ï ḋ ε ? x❇ ❇ ❇xxx
═════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
spaceElliott couldn't lie, he was surprised when Jesse relented. He'd not expected it to be that easy, at all. He'd thought for sure the Slytherin would put up a fight. From the terrified look in his eyes, it hadn't been entirely of of the question that he might've run, which was definitely the opposite of helpful. Actually, Elliott was fairly certain when he sat up that was exactly what he was going to do. Instead, he said he would try to talk about his past, which was both something of a relief and sort of terrifying. As he spoke, everything about the Ravenclaw's demeanor changed. He sat up properly to listen, eyes growing hard and cold, a tic starting in his clenched jaw. He'd obviously known that things had been wrong with the man who'd claimed to be Jesse's father, but he'd never really known how bad it'd been. Speculated, certainly, but speculating that something might be true and knowing it for certain were two entirely different matters.
spaceHe almost regretted telling his boyfriend that details weren't necessary, because they felt very, very necessary. But at the same time, just hearing what he was hearing was making him twitch, the darker parts of his personality making themselves known. He had only ever been this angry once before... and when that had happened, the result hadn't been particularly pretty. Not that he'd change what he'd done, but he knew it made Jesse uncomfortable. Though, given what the Slytherin had been through, he supposed he was lucky that Jesse was only uncomfortable with it and not completely terrified... The flinch from earlier suddenly registered again, and Elliott felt guilty for scaring him like that. Still, his guilt didn't quiet the more murderous parts of him, the ones that wanted to put an end to anyone who would even think about hurting Jesse (or anyone, for that matter, but especially Jesse). He desperately wanted to know the exact nature of the crimes committed, because when and if he ever had the chance to act on those desires, he would like to have a decent chance of defending his actions to those who would undoubtedly find out about it. But... he didn't want to make Jesse say any more than the Slytherin was wiling to. It'd already been too easy to get this much out, there was no need to push his luck and risk triggering a panic attack or upsetting him... again.
spaceElliott deliberated, not really sure what to say. Nothing that came to mind seemed to carry enough weight. But, he couldn't just sit there in silence after Jesse had finally opened up and been completely honest with him about just how bad off he'd had it. He wished he could calm his expression, but it was set as if it'd been carved into stone, quiet, seething fury. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself, to let go of the anger and focus on what Jesse needed, and not what he wanted. He moved closer to the redhead, lacing their fingers together and resting his head on his shoulder, face turned towards his neck. "He lied," the Ravenclaw said, as calmly as he could manage, but a hint of fury still laced his words. "You're worth everything, he's the one that's worthless. And... and I will never, ever let him make you his puppet again. You know I won't." Elliott lifted his head, meeting his boyfriend's eyes. "You do know that, right?" he asked, voice finally softening, the anger replaced with affection. He knew Jesse might not like what he was capable of, but Elliott wouldn't deny that sometimes, that aspect of him was necessary. If Paul ever managed to track them down, through any means, it would be necessary. It probably was anyway, but actively hunting the man down screamed 'premeditated' and would be significantly harder to explain away than an action taken in the heat of the moment. Besides... If at all possible, he'd rather it be in their past, just as much as he knew Jesse would. No sense dragging the past up any more than was absolutely required in order to make this work. And to help Jesse recover, which he hoped would be easier to do now that he had at least some information on what he was recovering from. It wasn't much, but it was more than before.
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════
xxx❇ ❇ ❇x ï ώαṉτ α l l τ ø ḋ α ÿ
xxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x ḋøṉ'τ ώ α ṉ τ τø h ε α ɾ ÿøυ ṡ α ÿ
xxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h ï ṡ ; ÿøυ сαṉ'τ ḋø τ h α τ "
xxxxxxxxxxxx❇ ❇ ❇x "ÿøυ'ɾε ṉ ø τ α l ï ṿ ï ṉ ģ τhïṉģ ώïτh ƒ ε ε l ï ṉ ģ ṡ "
(( OOC: )) ...
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