Coming out ??? Help

[Mr Sp00ks]

I wonder if I should tell my family that I'm asexual and genderqueer, or if it's a good idea at all.

A few years ago, before I knew what asexuality was, I told my family that I was pansexual, not like "I have something to tell you", but my mother had been asking about my love life and I told her I had interest in someone of the same sex as me... and explained to them what pansexuality meant, and they did not understand, and just assumed it meant I was homosexual, and that's what they went around telling everyone that I knew. Yes, they told everyone that I was homosexual, everyone that I knew... and when I went on a date with someone of the opposite sex, my mother exclaimed "I knew you weren't gay!".
These events happened, again, about three years ago or so. When I discovered I was not pansexual, but rather asexual, I have debated with myself on whether or not it would be a good idea to tell them, as I don't want the same thing to happen over again, and I don't want them to misunderstand me when I have to explain it to them. Maybe it's best if they don't know, but I feel like they have a right to.
My world revolves around them and they're the only reason I exist in the first place, not to mention, they've always been there through everything for me. I don't know.

Another thing is, I don't really know if I should tell them if I am genderqueer or not. Even though I known I'm genderqueer far before I knew I was asexual, and far before I thought I was pansexual. As a child I was extremely confused on whether I was a boy or a girl, as I didn't think I was either, or maybe I felt like both, and at eight years old I remember I would stare for maybe even fifteen minutes at a time, wondering which bathroom I was supposed to use. Around that age I gently asked my parents to start referring to me as a him, but they kind of laughed it off. (Nowadays my preferred pronouns are actually It/it's, but he/him and she/her are juts as fine with me)

I've already told all my friends these things, and asked them not to tell my parents. Some of my friends were more than supporting, while others did not wish to speak with me or be involved with me in any way anymore.

If you have any advice for me, or thoughts on this, please let me know.  

[Billy Wroth]

In my personal belief family doesn't involve those questions, because your sexuality is too much intimacy for this. And in general family does not necessarily has the "matching" style to our personalities as the way we are. So it's hard to make it fit together in the whole aspects of one with another. I open myself to my friends and others about that (quite much), because those will have to accept me the way that I am, but with whom I'll be living in that I can't just choose I rather omit myself over create stressful conflicts.
My mother knows about my sexuality, she lies to herself that it was just a dream she had when I told her. She prefer to don't talk of think about it and is completely against of me coming out to my father. There are families and families though. And that's why I think that you must find your answer yourself, because no one else will know better what you're dealing with than your own.
Of course that I feel so bad when I see my friends who talk about their crushes to their mothers and stuff, but I know that it will never occur with my family. But I don't blame that much, I rather build my family with the ones that loves me the most and respect me the way that I am, so that is the mostly important thing that I carry within.