(Self RP) Hopelessly Ensnared (Gale Hawthorne)

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

(Not in teepee yet, will be doing that tomorrow after appointment. I just dind't want to forget to post this)  

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

I should have volunteered to go in his place. The thought plagued Gale as it always did. If he had taken Peeta’s place and gone with Katniss, then things would have been different. Everything would have been different. Maybe she would have looked at him the way she did Peeta.

But no, he had stayed behind to protect her family—Prim and her mother. He had stayed to take care of them. He remembered her words to him as they were taken from each other. Don’t let them starve.

He hadn’t. But he had watched as she starved, as she was burned, as she was close to death and there had been nothing that he could do about any of it. He’d had to watch it all helpless, the bitter seed in his chest growing and taking root. It had become a living thing all it’s own, possessing all of his hatred toward the Capitol and Snow.

Snow was who made this happen, Snow was who did this to them. Snow was the one that made the Districts fight against each other instead of joining together. Because it was better to keep them divided, better to keep them hating each other for killing each other’s foals. Because that’s what he wanted, he wanted them to hate each other so much that they wouldn’t ever think of being allies. And it had worked, for seventy-five long years.

When the Games had come and Prim had been reaped, he’d seen it happen so fast and so slow at the same time. He knew when he heard her name that Katniss would volunteer, and he was powerless to stop her. You’ve only got one ticket, little duck.

But one had been enough. Katniss had screamed, she’d volunteered for her sister and he knew that it might be the last time he ever saw her. He pulled Prim away from her, and their eyes had met just briefly.

They should have ran away together before now. Him and her, their siblings and mothers. They should have ran when there was still time.

When they’d said they’re goodbyes, he’d said it so many times in his head. He’d not wanted to tell her this way, but it was better than never telling her at all, wasn’t it?

When it came time though, they dragged him from her and all he had time to say was, “Remember.”

Remember, as if she could even know what that meant. Remember how I found you? Remember how you saved me from a life full of hate? Remember how we hunted together so our families wouldn’t starve? Do you remember how each little thing I did was because I loved you? Because I’ve always loved you?

But how could she know, he’d never said. And now it was too late.  

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

The Games had started and he’d listened to it all in silent horror. But that was the point wasn’t it? These Games were meant to keep them from uniting, from becoming allies that might actually strike at the Capitol.

That’s what she’d showed him in the Arena with her refusal to kill Rue. Would he have done it? She was a foal, but still it was kill or be killed that was how you played the Game. He didn’t want to admit that he would have done it, but the truth lay bare before him like an open wound.

But Katniss had seen it. She had decided not to play by their rules. He watched as the days went by and what little flesh she had on her bones fell away though she ate in the Arena better than others.

There he watched her sing, just like Peeta said about her father. Even the mockingjays had stopped to listen. The song was soft, sweet something that he’d heard his mother sing to him, his brothers, and Posey in turn when they were fretful or sick. It was the promise of a good tomorrow, when in reality there were no promises in life. At least, no in District 12.

Or even District 11. Rue lay there breathing so shallowly that it might have been easy to think she was falling asleep to the words Katniss sang. But she wasn’t, she was being sung to death.

He watched it all, his heart swelling in bitter hate. He felt his claws curl ready to unless his fury against the guards they called Peacekeepers. Enough was enough, but Katniss shamed him, she shamed them all with her next action.

Round about her she laid flowers, decorated the foal’s body with beauty and dignity and as one final act of respect, she gave the simple salute. Three claws raised. A sign of honor, a sign of respect, a sign of love.  

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

What she did lit a spark in his heart, an ember that had long been flamed. But instead of a hot steady glow, his heart was an inferno. His heart, his soul were now the battlefield.  

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

The lights went out as the arena went dim. It only took Gale a moment before his instincts kicked in. This wasn't a failure of light sources, this was an intentional use of darkness--to blind them. Which meant only one thing, they were about to be attacked. He pulled his family close to them, urging them to be quiet as he found the heaviest weapon he had in the house, a broken off shelf. Katniss family was there too.

The night was rent with the sounds of snarls then screaming. Walkers. Maybe some suti's too, the guards were attacking them after Katniss' latest show of defiance in the arena. She had found the c***k in their armor and Snow could not allow that defiance once shown, to smolder. He had no idea if that last image of Katniss that ha been shown to them was of her alive or freshly dead, but he had promises to keep.  

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

Snow was coming to destroy their district, to put down a rebellion before it had even begun. He was going to kill them all as a warning to anyone who thought that they could defy him and expect to live or have their family live.

He pushed Katniss back out of his mind as far as he could, but somewhere in his mind her heart was both beating and stopping. It was sheer pain to keep it from the forefront of is mind, because as much as it mattered to him it didn't matter at all right now whether she was alive or dead.

He had made a promise. Don't let them starve.

And with that all the implications that went with it, protect them. Keep them safe. Keep them alive  

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

There are things that you never want to forget because of the way they make you feel or the way they change you. Then, there are the things that you can't forget even if you try. Even if all you want to do is forget. Even if he lived a thousand lifetimes, he'd never forget that night.

"GALE!" His sister screaming his name brought sound back to his ears after the first defeaning sound of explosion. They were setting off some kind of pitch or tar that burned fast and hot, sometimes it exploded. The last one had been so close that he'd fallen into some of the pitch, his skin burning with the sound gone in his ears except for ringing.  

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

His sister's voice though had come through sharply, the first thing he could hear besides the ringing or the loud thudding of his own heart. Everyone was running in panic. They were being slaughtered by the ground forces or herded toward barrels of pitch ready to be lit on fire. He realized that if someone didn't do something quick, there would be no more people of District twelve.

Without having to look or wait, he knew that that someone had to be him. He yelled to be heard above the din of battle. He tried to ignore the smell of burning flesh that invaded his nostrils. When no one responded to him he grabbed the nearest soquili and yelled again. This time, they listened.

He made them rally, forcing them to fight against the insanity occurring around them to flee to the meadow where they could find safety or at least make a last stand.  

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

The meadow was supposed to be mean safety, and it was in a way. No one followed them out there. They had left them to die, to starve. But Gale, his family, his whole distract, they were use to surviving when they should just be starving. After all it's what they'd done their entire lives.

Of course, most of the herd didn't know how to hunt so he had had to teach the ones that were able to get enough to feed the herd. The meat that stretched far too thin through the group was watered down with wild oats, arrowhead, and various other things to try to give some subsistence to the food and make it stretch.

That was the worst part, they had to stretch it so far but compared to how many faces were missing....it wasn't sobering. There was less than one tenth of their herd left. The rest....

His mouth filled with bile and the food he had eaten tasted like ash in his stomach. That's what was left of his herd--ash. He had no idea what had happened to Katniss or the others. But he had to take care of her family, he had no choice but to go on.  

[Nyx Queen of Darkness]

They survived, mostly.

When they came, he wasn't sure who they were. Gale and the rest of the herd weren't well armed but they were as prepared as they could be when they showed up in their uniforms. They seemed like some weir illusion, some nightmare or dream, he wasn't sure which. They were like ghosts, because the place they said they came from---it didn't exist anymore