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When I first came to Christ, I could sum my life up with one word: AIMLESS. I didn't know what I was doing, or where I was going. I was dependent on drugs, and when I wasn't depending on drugs, I was trying to depend on people to help me figure out all of the problems that I was making for myself by doing the drugs. My aunt was an enabler, I was what you called a functioning drug addict, and though I wasn't wasting away materialistically, I was slowly wasting away physically, mentally, and I was most definitely dead spiritually. My aunt and my grandpa passed away, and the family that I had left, I couldn't bother with these problems that I had created, because they just simply were not going to have it. They were not going to tolerate let alone enable me the way that my aunt had. At this point I knew I had to get clean, and God began to encounter me in mighty ways to get me into church. When I began going to church I was getting convicted more and more, and spiritual warfare broke out in my life something fierce. Angels and demons were literally fighting for my soul and no one would believe me about what was going on around me. Finally, my closest drug friends were put in jail, and I was too scared to make new ones because I knew my life was heading down a path that would destroy me. This spiritual warfare had destroyed my ability to go out into public. Everything everyone said would put me into mental confusion, no matter where I went. I couldn't believe how alone I was in the world. I couldn't go down the street to the Dollar General without the devil on my tail harassing me somehow, someway and I felt completely hopeless. I didn't want to leave my house. I was stuck with my Bible and this new church I had been brought to, and the devil was sure to follow me there too. I lost my job, my car was falling apart, I had hardly any money, was behind on bills and literally living on bare minimum, with that minimum in total jeopardy. I thought.. the only thing left to go is my daughter. If I can't take care of her, what will I do? I was clean. What more did God want from me? I began to read my Bible, and talk to him. He would answer me, reward me, stand with me, strengthen me, allow me to be broken, every.single.day, just so every.single.day he could piece me back together on my bedroom floor because I had lost all of my furniture to bedbugs. I learned to stop depending on the world. God became so very real. He listened, His word gave me instruction and when I followed this instruction, He was faithful. I lost anger, bitterness, envy. I found forgiveness, love, and joy in knowing that The Lord was proud of not just getting cleaning, but I was learning to follow the first two commandments in the Bible and that is to love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, body and soul, and to love my neighbor as myself (even though I hated the world and thought they were out to get me). I learned to love them, and to lean on ONLY God. God then restored everything the devil had taken. This is is why I am so stern, that I will take my decisions up with God, and God only, and that I don't need the confusion of the worlds opinions. I have become what I am over the past three years because I have given myself over to God in prayer and the Holy Spirit teaches me through his word, and because I have learned what it is to know and follow his voice and direction. I will continue to do this. Above all other things.
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
(Romans 12:2 KJV)
A testimony shared by a woman on the Facebook group 'Reasons For Jesus'.
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