Welcome to Gaia! ::

All things considered, Akaris had been incredibly pleased with herself. She had made it through an entire Hatching, and not only had nothing terrible happened, she'd had absolutely nothing at all to do with what minor problems had arisen. Yes, there had been some gasping and squeaking and shrieking and an awful lot of clinging to Rylyrr, but none of that was against the rules (and he was just...so very nice to cling to). With him there, she'd not minded at all when the clutch's last green had decided to make them wait all afternoon before choosing Hers, because it had given her that much more time with her friend. Her very tall, very handsome friend, who unfortunately lived at High Reaches, placing him well out of reach except for during Hatchings, and even then, he was perilously close to aging out. If no other clutch was laid between now and then, then what? As much as she had wanted to ask, she also hadn't, not wanting to dwell on the fact that he might not Impress by talking about the what-ifs. For her part, she had trouble grasping why he hadn't, when he would be a perfect dragonrider! He was big, and brave, and wonderful, so why had he been passed over so many times?

While many candidates were doubtless busy wondering why they hadn't Impressed, Akaris only wondered why Rylyrr hadn't. That she hadn't, she quite frankly didn't find to be the least bit surprising. A part of her suspected that they all knew, somehow, how terribly she'd messed up previously, and as such would want nothing to do with her. That dark green hatchling certainly hadn't approved of her, although the gold had tried to be nice. She'd appreciated the sympathy, especially coming after the criticism. Judgemental baby dragons were...well, she was developing a bit of a history with them. Faranth help her when another Touching rolled around - she was not looking forward to that, especially since it was looking like clinging to Rylyrr was not a viable option for dealing with her fear, judging by some of the lecture they'd gotten today. But what else was she supposed to do? She couldn't just make herself not afraid, which was complicated by the fact that fear probably qualified as a negative thought...so wasn't it a good thing that she had stuck by someone who made her feel safer and gave her something else to think about? He was the only other candidate she was close to, after everything that had happened and she'd lost what superficial friends she'd had. She hadn't really made an effort to make new ones, although she had acquired some unexpected non-candidate ones. ...who were also unexpectedly dragon-shaped.

Regardless of what that green had thought, Akaris had made lots of progress! Or at least, she'd thought she had. Slow progress, to be fair, but there was a big difference between grown, well-mannered dragons and unbonded hatchlings, and there weren't exactly a lot of opportunities for working on overcoming the latter obstacle. She was improving at the former, at least, and most dragons now fell into a 'sort of scary but probably okay' category, while a couple of special ones were even better than okay, and were the reason she was out roving around at the tail end of studying hours (she was finished studying, honest!). She had a letter to write, and she would much rather write it tucked up against a certain sweet bronze than on her cot in the barracks, particularly now that she was feeling so down. She'd let the lecture make her feel terrible, and made herself feel worse dwelling on the thought that everyone knew she was at least part of the reason for the lecture. Even though it had been months. A'ral had made it clear that it wasn't just about the latest Hatching, and even if he hadn't...well, she knew full well that everyone knew what she'd done and would never forget it. They probably even told new candidates about her, as some sort of cautionary tale.

Lucky for Junenth, Akaris had no intention of just passing by - she was here just for him, and so happy he was on his ledge! At least something was going right today! She needed a hug, and a sympathetic ear (err...headknob?), and it would have been a terrible disappointment if he hadn't been 'in.' Not entirely unexpected, since he was a Very Important Dragon, but...well she was glad he was here!

"Junenth! You're here!" She rushed up the walkway to his ledge, not just to scritch or boop, but to throw her arms around his great head and hug. This, by necessity, displaced the gold flit who'd been draped around her neck, but Lovely was an agreeable creature, and simply fluttered to rest nearby, trilling a greeting to the bronze. "I'm so glad."

There was more than just affection in the gesture or in her tone; there was neediness, too. After a few moments, she peeked towards the weyr behind him. "...is anyone else home?" For once, she hoped not. "I...I think I messed up again, Junenth. I thought I did better, but...but maybe I'm just a bad candidate."

There was a time when that rumble would have been absolutely terrifying, and from most other dragons might still have been a bit worrisome, but Junenth was not most dragons. He was Junenth. He was sweet, and perfect, and she adored him. If only there were another of him out there waiting to be shelled, just for her! It was a grand fantasy, but at times she doubted so that it would ever come to pass - and not because she was a girl, but because she was...well. Not what a good dragon would want, or even a bad one. Oh, she wanted desperately to be wanted, but not all of her was as sure as she'd once been that she deserved it, and that doubtful part was much harder to squash down and ignore after the day's lecture.

Akaris all but clung to the bronze, cheek pressed against his soft hide, and let herself be wrapped in the comfort that he offered. Lovely, meanwhile, peeped affectionately, and abandoned the little pot of ink she'd been charged with carrying to flit up and perch between his headknobs. "A'ral's upset with us," the candidate answered after long moments, trying and failing to hold back the start of tears that she'd been doing her best to keep in all day. "About the Hatching. He said n-none of us did right, and he's...he's disappointed."

And that hurt. "But I really tried! I did. I was scared, but- but I tried, but I must have gone wrong somewhere. Is...do you think it's because I stayed so close to Rylyrr? He just- I was afraid, and he made me feel safer. Is that bad?"

Objectively, Akaris knew full well that A'ral hadn't been speaking only to her; he would certainly not be so cruel as to single her out, he was much too good a person to do that. But every last word had resonated with her guilty conscience, and he had been very specific in emphasizing that not a single one of them had done as they should have, so she felt that she very definitely had gotten something wrong. She had spent much of the day trying to pinpoint what it had been, and was left with it being either that she had done a poor job of controlling her fear, or that she had been too...preoccuppied with Rylyrr. He had mentioned crushes, after all.

"I just want to know what I did wrong, so I don't...don't do it again," she sniffled. "I don't want him to be disappointed. I- I want to make him proud." Or at the very least, not cause him any more problems than she already had.

The girl was all too willing to be tucked away beneath the bronze's wing, ever so secure in the coils of what not so very long ago had been a terrifying beast. But he was Junenth now, safe and warm and with a soft hide that was all too easy to cry into, and a voice that wrapped her mind in comforts. He reaffirmed what she had originally thought - that she had done fairly well, all things considered - and his tone when he referred to Rylyrr as 'that one' was perhaps more gratifying than it should have been, but it made her feel special. Valued, and looked out for. She'd never had a parental figure giving suitors the side-eye before.