Navigating dating relationships can be quite the balancing act.
You meet someone you really like, feel those butterflies and never want to let go. Sometimes it even feels like you’re floating on air. It’s magical! And guess what – It’s exactly what we were created for! We were created for deep, safe and satisfying relationships. We were created for covenant. And while we may still be on the other side of that covenant, we still have those desires living deep inside of us.
In the midst of getting to know another person, you are actually getting to know yourself, too. You’re getting to know how you handle conflict, disagreement, and misunderstandings. You’re also getting to know how you navigate love and affection. Boundaries, both physical and emotional.
There’s a lot to balance in a romantic relationship. And something that is extremely important in the midst of all the emotions and butterflies is remembering what is “mine” and what is “yours”.
Every relationship is about serving another person. Especially in dating, it’s important to know what you are willing to give and what you know in your heart that you actually need to keep to yourself for the time being.
We don’t give because we think we are supposed to. We give because love compels us to. We don’t give out of “obligation” or any kind of pressure – because that’s not love. Letting someone wait for your kiss, your touch, is giving them the gift pursuing you. It’s creating a healthy balance in the relationship to where you know what will serve the relationship versus what will create distrust.
Even something as simple as a kiss is letting someone into your life in an intimate way. Relational intimacy was always meant to be a vulnerable and sacrificial act. Whether on an emotional or physical level, intimacy is meant to be protected. – We have to protect one another.
When physical boundaries are feeling like someone is “taking” from you, it’s time to take a step back. When you don’t feel like your true and vulnerable emotions are being honored, it’s time to take a step back.
Give when you’re ready. Maintain boundaries that will keep you safe and bring you down the path towards covenant. Where even then, you must handle each other with care.
Giving yourself too early is robbing the you and the other person of not only the sacred persuit of romance but it’s also robbing each other of the honor they deserve. Our bodies and our hearts are sacred places and are meant to be held with high regard. We are worth more than one moment of satisfaction. We are worth more than “making the other person happy” just to give yourself a day of feeling secure in a relationship – If you’re not feeling secure in your relationship you probably need to have a conversation, not a physical “fix-all”.
Both you and your significant other should feel safe together. Honor the eternal value in the person sitting across from you. The one you are learning to give your heart to.
Let it be a sacred act even to walk down the street as men and women who belong to the King of Kings. You are royalty. And so is he.
With love,
Grace Clibourn