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He hadn't been feeling well, but that was nothing unusual for Veikel; in fact, the days where he didn't feel something as of late were more suspect. Maybe it was exhaustion creeping in on him as he worked through the days and nights, hardly noticing as they blended together like a spoon stirring cream into klah. Even if he did acknowledge that maybe his head was hurting, then he'd take something for it. Veikel was a Journeyman healer well into his studies, not some novice junior apprentice who panicked at the first sign of aches and pains. If it really got bad, he'd take a break for a few candlemarks and get back to it. This was nothing.

But "nothing" was slowly becoming "something", and as Veikel attempted to get up from where he'd been sitting inside the healer's tent, working overtime as per usual, his vision swam. It was for barely a nick of a tick of a candlemark, but it was enough to send him stumbling. A couple of jumping steps found him still upright, though he leaned against the wall for support as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"....." Maybe something was wrong.

There was a long pause as Viekel turned to look, and for a flicker of a tickmark his expression showed confusion. It washed away in a blink, and a friendly smile replaced all. "Hmm? Ah, Nikal." The smile continued, and the older brother pushed himself from the wall in an effort to stand and not look so....in the way. Or whatever it was that Nikal had spouted at him between complaints. "I didn't expect to see you here, what's up? Did you need to see Mom?"

Normally, he would have pulled his brother into an embrace and laughed against the fruitless struggles of the much younger (and much weaker) man to break free, but he didn't. His arms felt like lead, and even keeping the smile on his face was making his cheeks hurt. Still, he couldn't let anyone know and he was going to make sure they didn't. Veikel couldn't worry anyone because it'd cause them trouble and he would never forgive himself for that.

"If you're looking for her I think she's stepped out for the time being? I can give her the message to find you if you want." The smile faltered for a moment and his eyebrows tensed, but it passed. A soft peep from behind him had a small blue tail move to curl about his neck, the only proof there was something there. "If that's all you need I'll pass it along, no worries."

Was he trying to rush Nikal off? Yes.

Ahhh, yeah. Nikal always did seem to get along better with their sister, Veikel thought, even more so since she had a downed dragon and everyone had been off and on concerned for her. Initially Veikel had been excessively smothering and oh, how he longed still to be, but that wasn't going to happen. "Oh yeah, Tai. Good on you." Why was Nikal still here? Normally the boy couldn't stand being more than a tick of a mark in Veikel's presence and yet for some reason he was still here. The comment about his looks took a bit to register, as did the question of what he was doing.

"I look like s**t because I'm your older brother, and I was planning on going and getting some klah. We've got a dragon who will be clutching soon, so there's a lot of things I want to get in order." He frowned, but tried to get it away. It was uncharacteristic, but he also yanked his arm free from Nikal's grasp with what was probably a little too much force. "Er, anyway."

Again, the blue about his neck peeped and from beneath the dark mass of hair two small glowing eyes could be seen. The peep had been in response to the flitter on Nikal's hand, no doubt, but the shy creature made no effort to move.

"You're welcome to stay here and do whatever, but I'm getting some klah and I have work to do. If you've nothing you need from me, leave me alone." Irritation tinged his own words as he brushed past his brother and outside. There were only a few steps taken though before he staggered again, this time no wall to catch himself before he tumbled down. From behind his head a tiny, dark flitter emerged and took to the sky, hovering over his downed form with heartbreaking creels.

Veikel wasn't entirely unconscious, as nice as that would have been, so he heard Nikal's usual gripes. In a normal mood he'd have laughed it off and just chalked it all up to his younger brother's surly nature. Now though, awake and angry at himself and certainly ill, his mood was surly too. Perhaps it was a family trait that he was just better at suppressing than the others? None the less he groaned and moved a bit in an effort to get up.

Sadly, his arms betrayed him and he found he couldn't lift his body. How'd he let himself get this bad? The last time something like that happened he'd managed to catch it in time without anyone noticing, but now Nikal was here being his usual pompous a** self and Veikel wasn't for all that. His head hurt, his body hurt, and he was being looked down on. "Piss off Nikal, what do you even care?" The words were mostly muffled by the dirt and so it was ridiculous to see a grown man grumble from such a position.

That said, the tiny flitter looked more towards Gauze and peeped again, moving so they they were closer together. The darker blue looked over at Nikal, back to Gauze, before moving to land on Veikel's back. More peeps, more chirps, and eyes full of worry. "Bandage, get off."

"If you hate me this much, why not just go away? Go haunt Mom, or Tai, or literally anyone else." Bandage had flown off when Nikal moved his brother, and Veikel coughed out some words as the little blue landed back on his chest. The flitter looked at Nikal with large and worried eyes, radiating concern and love and so much more. He sat for a moment before walking up and placing his snout against Veikel's chin.

The poor baby blue's reward was a soft pet with the tip of Veikel's finger, though the motion took effort and Veikel groaned. "What do you even want from me Nikal? To see me sick because of my own stupidity, as usual, so you can feel superior?"

All these words were honest, but also not so. Veikel loved his brother and sister more than anything in the world which was probably why he was so annoyed right now; there was so much he had to do just to stay afloat while the two of them just......naturally did. Maybe that's why his bitterness was coming out with his cold, or rather exhaustion just made some feelings easier.

"....but why? What have I ever even done to you to get that? Is it because I'm not like you, or Mom and Dad? Or like Tai? Because I don't even have remote worth if I'm not working myself to death? Even then I'll probably have to actually be dead before it -" He groaned and bit at his lip, stopping the complaining. There was no point in talking to Nikal about anything, he knew how the boy felt about him. It would have been amusing for the older brother to find out he felt like he was being tolerated; in Veikel's mind he was the outcast one. The one who couldn't do anything right because of his fears and his insecurities.

Shaking hands were placed over Veikel's face, and maybe he was thinking about crying. Not now of course, as he would never cry in front of anyone if he could help it, but certainly he'd be crying. "You're lucky."

Did he mean Nikal was lucky in that no one expected anything from him? No, Viekel would never be that cruel even in his sickened and angry thoughts. No, Nikal was lucky because the parents did expect a lot from him and Nikal was still young enough to make those hopes come true. Veikel, for all his efforts, was practically a lost cause. A healer who couldn't handle blood, who was annoying and smothering and all his good intentions ruined things? Ah yes.

"One day you're going to go on and become someone amazing and I'll still be here, in the dirt."

"Of course no one asks, because it's expected. You - okay yanno what? Never mind." Veikel had little to no energy to continue arguing...and that was okay. This was probably the first time in a long time, or at all if he really could remember, that he actively traded verbal barbs with Nikal. Or with anyone, for that matter, as the healer had always relied on his silver tongue and genial manner to get him out of situations.

Still, he groaned as he pushed himself up as much as he could. His head still swam and it was evident in how he swayed, prompting Bandage to squeak with worry and skitter onto his shoulders. He'd gotten himself good this time and would probably sleep for the better part of a sevenday once this was all said and done. Provided, of course, something insane didn't happen like a hatching or another massive Threadfall that wiped out even more riders. Ugh, he didn't even want to think about that and how it'd wipe out his stores for months to come. There hadn't even been proper time to harvest and pollinate, but why was he thinking about that right now. Right now he was supposed to be struggling to wipe his face, which ended with him spilling the bucket as he clumsily reached for it.

"Shardit." Now he was miserable and wet and still being harped on by his younger brother. Maybe this was all just an awful fever dream and he was actually out cold inside the infirmary where no one could see him. Instead of, you know, sitting in the dirt with a crying firelizard wrapped around his neck.

"Hard to push out someone who happily and easily walks away." Veikel wasn't actively attempting to make himself heavy as Nikal attempted to lift, but he felt heavy anyway. His body ached, he was wet, and he was also extremely uncharacteristically pissy. It had to be the cold talking, or the exhaustion, or both together, because there was no way that he'd ever talk to someone this way, let alone his family. Veikel had always been so careful in his words and phrases so to slip up due to an illness was mind blowing.

Carefully he got to his feet with the help of his brother, and even though he towered over him it was clear to see Nikal might eventually catch him in height one day. They had some much in physical common despite being such night and day personalities. "I can walk on my own." He could not, in fact, walk on his own.