MARCH 28, 2016 | Owen Strachan

Compatibility.

Has any concept done more to hinder the development of love? We hear that once we discover our perfect physical and emotional match, we’ll taste ceaseless fulfillment, experience sizzling romance, and meet one another’s deepest needs. A world of bliss.

Compatibility.

Actually, this approach is fraught with pressure and flawed from the start. Tim and Kathy Keller said it well in The Meaning of Marriage [review]: “Physical attractiveness will wane, no matter how hard you work to delay its departure. And socioeconomic status unfortunately can change almost overnight.” In such relationships, cracks will show, and soon the “compatibility foundation” falls apart. So people rip up their marriages and start over again, believing they married a person they weren’t compatible with.

How tragic! The real issue before every couple is this: none of us is compatible. We’re sinners. That’s why we need something much better and sturdier as the ground of our marriages.

We need complementarity, not compatibility.

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