Overcast. Spitting rain, drowning the Weyr in mud and little rivers that trickled down the stone only to flow straight into your boot when you step into a puddle at just the wrong angle--not like that had happened to him, no, he was far more lucky than that. Firmly perched on the edge of his cot, he fumes quietly to himself about his newly-damp sock while he wrestles with removing the offending boot.
Kaiator had scuttled out of the weather as quickly as he'd been able to, taking the opportunity given to him by his downtime to try and relax as much as he could in the candidate barracks. He'd had a busy week already--of course, every week was busy here, but he had to admit, he still had some trouble easing into the routine from time to time. As much as he wanted to pull this off flawlessly, Kaiator was having to come to terms with the fact that he was maybe a bit less than perfect, and there were other candidates here who were far better at this whole mess than he was.

To be blunt, he didn't like the thought. What if he wasn't good enough after all?
What if he had never even had a chance?

As far as he's aware, he's more or less alone right now--there's a few people taking their free time to have a well-deserved nap, but down where his own bunk lay was more or less empty. Kaiator finds himself quite glad of that, huffing to himself as he throws his boots under his bed for the time being, hoping they might dry enough to be at least somewhat tolerable by the time he had to go somewhere else. He'd done everything he needed to do for the day, so it likely wouldn't be for a while; which was fine by him, honestly. His feet ached, and Kaiator was glad to rest.
Not for the first time, he debates writing a message home. Something to the tune of, 'hey, I'm not dead, I just got Searched and now I'm here and things are Absolutely Lovely, I promise you'--but he's not quite sure he has the energy for all of that right now. Besides, he could always make things right when he came back in person--either on the back of a dragon, or...well, according to some other plan he had yet to draft up. He really needed to come up with more contingency plans, just in case. The thought of failure was--horrifying, really, but even Kaiator had to admit that it was one that needed to be confronted, at least a little. It never hurt to be too prepared, but being left out on his a** with no backup plan just because he didn't Impress was a nightmare in the making.

What would he do? What could he do, really? If he showed up without some way to make a difference, he'd probably just wind up getting knifed in an alley not a month after he got back. As much as he hated putting all of his chips on one bet, Kaiator couldn't think of many other ways to get himself and his family out of the terrible situation he'd landed them all in.
That was another important step, too--admitting it was all his fault. Sure, he knew it was, but...accepting it rather than trying to shift the blame elsewhere was difficult. A bitter pill to swallow, and Kaiator hated every bit of it. There were so many things he could have done differently, but it was too late to waste his days fretting over what had already come to pass. The only thing he could do was keep moving forward and hope that there would be a light at the end of the tunnel--or through the clouds, presently.

The rain pattered gently outside, and Kaiator scowled up at the ceiling, doing his best to will the weather to change. That kind of control was far outside of his reach, however, and it continued without sparing a second thought to his desires.