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 Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2019 8:44 pm
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Normally I try not to vent my feelings about family issues online. I tend to keep my feelings inside. But right not the stress levels are through the roof and I am just feeling like s**t right now.
To start things off I'm currently living with my grandmother and two aunts. I've lived here for over ten years, not including the one year I tried to live with my father. But that isn't important right now.
Right now only one of the aunts is currently employed. I used to have a job, but they've been giving me issues so I had quit. So now I stay home to care for the house and grandma. The other aunt doesn't do much of anything.
Before I really go off I will point out that I also have some health issues that get in the way. Aspergers, low iron, anxiety and depression. Basically I don't deal with stress too well.
I'm trying my best to get the house back into proper shape. I'm trying to get everything nice and cleaned up. I hate to admit it but it is a disaster. I will admit it is partly my fault as I was never the best when it comes to cleaning up after myself. But the unfortunate thing is that I'm not the only one.
Doing the cleaning by itself isn't the issue. I don't actually mind cleaning. In fact, that is the thing I find relaxing. So long as I have some music and can focus I can actually get quite a bit done.
The aunt that works does try to help when she can, and I appreciate it. She can't do much because a lot of times when she comes home from work she is tired and just wants to rest. I can't blame her.
It is the other aunt. I have so many issues with her that I'm pretty much finding myself really hating her. Aside from being snippy once in a while, I don't really show it.
First off, for as long as I've been alive she hasn't had a job. Nor did she even try to get a job. Side note, I'll be 32 next year. What she would do would be to sit at a computer all day and only getting up to use the bathroom. Sure, I also spend a bit too much time on the computer but I will at least get up and do other things.
She even goes to the point she had to be hospitalized because of blood clots. Even to rehab in order to lose a bit of weight and to be able to get up unassisted. Once she returned home she put that weight back on and has difficulty getting up on her own. She can get up if she tries to, but she is so lazy she'd just prefer to ask for help.
Then something that just happened just sent me over the edge. I was tending to grandma. I wasn't doing too well so I couldn't stay with her for too long. I had difficulty breathing and was feeling light-headed. I don't know if it was because of my low iron or because the room was too stuffy. I had to step outside. On my way out I asked my aunt to check on grandma while I went outside to catch my breath. The cold air helps a lot. When I came back in she didn't move from where she sat. I was pissed.
So I started taking the trash out. I was so overwhelmed I started crying as I went. When she asked about a box I was going to take out after the final trash bag I just snapped at her. I was just so stressed and angry I couldn't even pretend I was okay.
So I took out the trash and made sure grandma was okay before heading to bed. Or rather take my laptop upstairs. But I'm probably going to go to sleep soon anyway.
I really could use a vacation right now, to be honest.
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Posted: Fri Nov 29, 2019 11:25 am
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Posted: Fri Nov 29, 2019 8:23 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:21 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:35 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2019 7:20 am
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