- The whole profile could use a basic grammar check. Please go over it for clarity and to correct punctuation. There are also several fragmented sentences that are confusing, particularly in the backstory.
- Your blood status says "halfblood" but the backstory says both parents are pureblood. Please correct this for consistency.
- The 'determined' section of his personality needs a small edit. As it stands, its wording can be abused to allow god-modding, which is not allowed in the RP. Nobody, particularly a child of 11, can succeed all the time, particularly in cases with such low odds of success.
- The personality section in general could use some work, as other than the "complex" trait (which is not really an appropriate header for what is described), it's all very bare bones. Please expand on it to make him feel like a more fully fleshed-out person.
- Most positions like Department Heads are not available for NPC characters to fill. During the time frame your character's father would have claimed the position, it was taken by other characters in the roleplay. You'll have to simply say that he was an Auror.
- There is one particular fragment, "He spends most of his time at his mothers", which confuses me. His mother's what?
- Your character is required to have two weaknesses.
Please make these changes, and then edit the thread title to 'Edited' so that we can look your profile over again.
Thank you! ~ ❤ Cara ɱк
Hi, my name is Lucius King
But I mostly go by N/a
I'm a male
I'm 11 years old.
My birthday is Oct. 31 2036
My dream job is Defense of the Dark Arts Teacher or Dark Arts Teacher, Auror, Powerful Wizard
My blood status is Half-Blood
This is my First Year year here at Hogwarts.
I'm a member of (Once you are sorted, update this section with the house you are sorted into. Do not sort yourself.) house.
I'm interested in girls
I'm currently with None
People can describe me as
Intelligent: He is very smart. It takes him little to no effort to understand new concepts and skills. With his sharp mind and a great memory, he would be close to a natural genius.
Driven: He will do whatever it takes to complete his tasks/goals and determined to get it done.
Confidence: he believes himself to appoint that even with odds against him even with a 1% he will win and get things done.
Complex: He is cold but not necessarily mean. He can care about people. His 'friends' are someone that earns his respect and notice. Especially those who are loyal that he can depend on which will be difficult. He doesn't like to show his 'nice side' he feels uncomfortable.
Resourceful: He believes one must be prepared to overcome ALL goals and challenges. He will use whatever tools in his repertoire or even anyone if needs be.
My background story is Lucius King is the son of a pure-blood wizard
Bartholomew King and Pure Blood witch, Michaelle McCain. The two were high officials in the magical world. His father was part of the Ministry of Magic, Head of the Aurors Office. His Mother was a caretaker of magical creatures. At one point their love was great. But nothing lasts forever.
When Lucius was born. his mother died and left his father to take care of him. His father grew distasteful towards him but still took care of him for Michaelle. Instead of being there would be a maid to take care of him. He was taught to be perfect to make up his mother's passing and live up to his father's standards. He spends most of his time at his mothers
His father is rarely here to take care of him. And the maid is who he cares for. At his 11th birthday, a letter came in for his acceptance in Hogwarts. This was going to be great for him knowing he can leave all of this place.
I enjoy Magic, Power, Dueling, Books, Winning, Animals
I despise Failing, Looked Down, Losing, Annoyance, Bullying
I'm afraid of Being alone
My strengths are
High Intelligence: He can grasp new concepts rather quickly, Understanding them with ease to little to no effort.
Goal-Oriented: When focused on his objective/task, he will get it done on completion
My flaws are Likes animals than people
I look like
Year 1/11yo- Year 2/12
Year 3/13yo- Year 4/14
Year 5/15yo- Year 6/16
Year 7/17-20
21 Years OLD and Up
My wand is a 10.5 inches, Yew Wood, Phoenix Hair as it's core
My pet is a Owl
Oh yes, there's something else I need to tell you! (Put anything here you about your character that was not covered above. If there is nothing, then please remove this option)
Pended By: (Do not touch this)
Accepted By: (Do not touch this)
Recent Updates Accepted By: (Do not touch this)
Accepted By: (Do not touch this)
Recent Updates Accepted By: (Do not touch this)