Alexandre had wanted the familiarity of home, and those he loved, surrounding him this winter. While he frequently returned to the herd throughout the year, he also spent a lot of time away from it in order to travel. Though, the more time that he spent away from the herd the more he grew to miss it. This stint away being a perfect example. He'd been gone for around two months but, every day felt agonizing. Yet, at the same time, being home. . . hurt. Every time he returned it felt like there was a new member joining the family and while that brought him great joy, it also meant it was another time that he'd returned without that. That he had nothing to return to. That little piece inside of Alexandre that he tried to bury deep within was becoming unearthed. Alexandre wanted a mate--or mates--to care for and who cared for him in return. He desperately longed for the chance to be a father. In fact, he may have longed for the latter more than the former. Maybe.
Alexandre sighed and stored his mask just under his wing as he made the last few steps into the boundaries of the herd. He needed the companionship of family, that was for certain. Hopefully this time it would put a patch over the ache beginning to grow within him. Actually. . . Maybe he should seek out some advice from his elders. Or Charisma? She was known to give good advice. Though, it may be hard for her to help with half of his problem. After all, how can one help when he didn't even know what he was looking for?
Lately his brain had been focused on that question. What would he like in a partner? Alexandre had never been drawn to a particular sex, nor did he value certain traits over others, and he could see himself with one individual or multiple. He just knew when he met the right being or beings that it would be. . . right. But he couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong or broken within himself. Hence the idea that he should talk to someone else about what he was thinking and feeling. What if they didn't understand though? Then what. .
. What would he do?
Alexandre sighed. He didn't mind his blindness and actually thought it made him pretty great but, it was in that moment he couldn't help but feel like he already had a mark against himself. He couldn't afford to add another mar. No. Don't think like that. He thought with a shake of his head.