[PRP] A Life of Indecision (Raksh x Bella)

[Nori Ishida]

To say he moved with thunderous sound would be an understatement. Sprinting up the mountain path, the massive stallion left behind deep impressions in the ground behind him, kicking up dirt as he climbed. In unfamiliar lands, he would move with more stealth and discretion, but he knew these mountains to be mostly calm and peaceful, making it a perfect place to train and build strength. There was no such thing as "down time" for Raksh. If he was not needed at the time, he was training to be ready for the next call to action. There was no wasted time.

He pushed forth one last burst of speed as he crested a ridge and came upon a rocky clearing as the ground leveled out. He approached a cliff's edge as he slowed his pace to a halt, his chest heaving. As he looked out across the hills and valleys below, the wind caught his heavy mane and tail and set his many golden chains to tinkling.

In his stillness, his mind wandered to his dark place, his guilt and shame. The family he had left behind. He knew he had a duty to others, as was written in the histories he learned from the spirits. But he had made the choice to start a family and to do right by them was also his duty. This duality tore at him constantly, and his way of coping was to ignore the problem. He constantly busied himself with the affairs of others, playing the hero, instead of returning home to face his own personal trials. He was angry at his own behavior, but never seemed quite ready to make the change he knew was needed.

With a frustrated snort, he turned away from the cliff, surveying the clearing about him. The path he had come from continued on the other side of the clearing, however if he returned down the way he had come, he knew his home was not too far from here. He stood, rooted to the spot by his indecision, his nostrils flaring with internalized anger.  

[Uta]

The mountains had long been Bella's home, so much so, she hardly remembered her foalhood spent in the Kawani plains. Where the dark woods and steep hills had once frightened her as a young mare, now, she couldn't imagine spending time long away from the steep peaks. It was up in the mountains she had sought refuge so many years ago; it was where she had fallen in love, where she had her foals, and raised her family. Her life had changed, thanks to meeting the grumpy resident of the mountain, and Bella was grateful for her life everyday.

How far she'd come from being a silly a mare of the plains, to an Elder of the great mountains. Granted, she sometimes couldn't believe the change--but she was grateful the spirits saw fit to bless her so. It gave her a purpose when she had no family to fuss over, and though she could often be tucked away in the mountains, she did do her best to support those she met.

Today was no exception.

Picking her way through the mountain terrain, one of the lesser known paths, and on her ay to visit some of her grandchildren who were preparing to winter nearby, something unfamiliar caught her ear. Someone, or something, was cutting their way through up the steep terrain. The sound of hooves against the rocks and soil didn't surprise her--perhaps it was one of her children, or grand-children? Or perhaps it was one of Yei and Grencia's lot, come for a visit? Deciding to change course, the heavy-set mare wove her way further up the hill until she finally reached the source.

It was a stallion, whose scent was unfamiliar. His coat was pale, his mane and tail a beautiful auburn, and he was adorned by all sorts of gold jewels. He was large, dust covered, and someone new, at least as far as Bella could figure. A friend of one of her families, perhaps? A guest of another neighboring herd? Or perhaps just a stranger enjoying the beauty of the mountains and their sweeping vistas? Regardless, Bella was not about to not say something. It had been some time since she'd bumped into a completely unfamiliar face.

"It's a beautiful view, don't you think?" She asked, stepping out of the neighboring woodland foliage, and picking her way closer to the cliffside. Even if she wasn't overlooking the grand terrain, the very path she walked, and the surrounding lands, were full to the brim with natural beauty.

Whether the stallion answered or not, she would have some idea if he was open to company--or if he seemed to prefer the quiet. She would give him space if that's what he wished.

Nori Ishida

-dusts off her poor girl-

 

[Nori Ishida]

The stallion's ears perked as he was pulled out of his internalized fight by the sound of the mare's greeting. He smiled at her, impressed by her presence - there were not many mares that could meet him eye-to-eye, but this mare almost reached his height. She was a pale cream color save for one darker patch below her hip and was lightly adorned with delicate jewelry. She seemed friendly, and Raksh sensed no threat from her. Bowing his head gently at her, he looked back at the valley below.

"Indeed it is quite a lovely view. My home was once on a neighboring mountain and I've always enjoyed gazing down from these heights."

It was the first time he had ever spoken about his home as if it existed in the past. His home used to be nearby, he said, but could he really call it that? If home was supposed to be a place where you laid you roots, raised your family, returned for safety in times of danger or uncertainty, he had done none of those things. Not here or anywhere else. He was constantly jumping from one deed to another, seeking out crisis and others who needed him. He had never stayed in once place long enough to grow roots but he knew his family, or at least his mate, was likely somewhere nearby. Is that what made it home? Ju certainly wasn't the warm, welcoming type. He chuckled at that thought and turned back to the impressive, cream-colored mare.

"My name is Raksh. Do you live near here, or perhaps just visiting?" He had time enough to make small talk and get to know somebody new. Perhaps she had something she needed help with and Raksh could add another good deed to his list. At the very least, a pleasant conversation could take his mind off his troubles.

Uta

 

[Uta]

Bella took a few steps closer so she might peek down at the valley that rolled out before them. Her eyes drank in the sight, admiring the beauty of the world surrounding them. Still, she wouldn't be rude, and after getting a nice look over the view, she turned to regard the pale stranger. "A fellow mountain dweller--you're in good company, fine sir," she smiled warmly. Bella didn't miss that he spoke of his home in the past--but she wasn't going to ask. He was a stranger, after all, and she didn't want to pry into his affairs. "I do hope the view, and these peaks, bring you nothing but happy memories." Even if it wasn't his mountain, the sentiment remained true -- perhaps the memories would bring him comfort while he was away.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Raskh. My name's Bella, and you're correct--I do leave near here. My family is actually scattered around these peaks and neighboring lands. I was journeying to pay a visit to some of my grandchildren," she confessed with pride and a warm smile. She wouldn't gush about her children, and the growing generations--even if she wished to. It wasn't everyday a stranger braved the altitude and hills, after all, and it wouldn't do if she scared him off immediately. "We haven't had visitors in some time though, so I'm glad to have crossed paths!" Bella adored her family, of course--but meeting new faces was a rare and appreciative treat.

Nori Ishida

 

[Nori Ishida]

Raksh bowed slightly once more. "Well met, Bella. It is good to meet a neighbor. I can't say that I ever gave any time to meeting other soquili who inhabit this area, so I am glad our paths crossed this day as well!"

He gave a bittersweet smile as she spoke of her family. Grandchildren. What a thought. Of course Raksh had always dreamed of a large family with many generations to carry on his legacy. For all he knew, he very well may have grandchildren of his own but it had been so long since he had seen his family, there was no way of him knowing. Would his children even want him to be a part of their lives anymore. He desperately hoped so.

He could see the mare swelling with pride as she spoke of her family, and Raksh longed to hear more. Hers sounded like a functional family, full of love and fondness for each other. Raksh had no idea what that was like and wondered if the mare could give him some direction on leading a happy, healthy family. He was full of endless guilt at leaving his family behind, but perhaps it wasn't too late to reconcile. And if he came home armed with some knowledge and guidance, perhaps he could actually mend the damage he had done.

"How lucky you are to have grandchildren! I have children of my own, but admittedly, I haven't been the best father...or partner." He paused, looking away with a wave of shame. Looking back at Bella, he swallowed his pride and finally took the first step to righting his many wrongs. "If I may ask...how is it that you have managed to cultivate and maintain a healthy family relationship? I fear I have failed in that way and may not be able to repair it at this point."

He hung his head and shifted uneasily where he stood. He realized this was the first time he had spoken his shame aloud. While he felt somewhat lightened by admitting his failures, he was still riddled with shame and hoped that this kind mare wouldn't judge him too harshly.

Uta