[SOLO] Planting Herbs (and otherwise) (Menahem, Tirzah)[FIN]

[Menelie]

Menahem had been apprehensive about his "date" with Tirzah. Like, he understood why they were doing it, and he agreed that it was a good idea for the three of them to spend time as adults together. And he'd very much enjoyed his one-on-one time with Rho. But the last time he and Tirzah had had time together where they hadn't been focused on the kids....some stuff had come up. And Mena was afraid she was going to bring it up again. He wasn't sure he was ready to have that conversation yet.

And yet, as their planned date approached, he found himself almost wanting her to bring it up. Like, it was for sure going to be uncomfortable, but if things got out in the open, maybe it would lead somewhere good. He thought back to the incredibly uncomfortable conversation with Rho where they'd gotten their stuff out in the open. And it had led somewhere wonderful.

So Mena began thinking about Tirzah, and his feelings for her. Did he have feelings for her? Yes, he decided. They were different than his feelings for Rho, but then...his relationship with Rho was built on seasons and seasons of friendship. Perhaps he just hadn't had the time yet, with Tirzah.

Tirzah, conversely, had no apprehension about anything. But that was typical for her. She was looking forward to time alone with Mena, to get to know him better and build their relationship. She'd planned something to do that she thought they'd both enjoy--planting a little potted herb garden in their alcove. She thought it'd combine their skills and interests. She could talk to him about planting and cultivating, and he could tell her about the culinary uses for what they were planting.

Plus, if they were doing something together, perhaps Mena would feel less awkward than if they were just sitting around and talking.

Her plan, as far as conversation went, was to keep things light and casual. If he wanted to bring something more in-depth to the table, she'd always be open to that. And, of course, if she sensed he wanted to say something she'd help him to get it out. But Tirzah certainly wasn't planning on initiating any of that. She wanted him to be relaxed and comfortable in her company.

---

The day of the date came. Tirzah had procured a small tiered plant stand, which she'd placed near a window in their alcove. She'd also gotten some herbs and soil from the nursery. There was basil, mint, rosemary, sage, dill, and oregano. She filled a couple pitchers of water to give them all a nice drink once they'd finished planting.

Mena returned from dropping the tots off at the nursery and the scent of the herbs flooded his senses. "Wow," he said, closing the door behind him. He was used to working with all these herbs, and recognized by smell each of them individually, but all together they were like a chorus. He also typically worked with dried herbs in the kitchen. "This smells amazing. Is it gonna smell like this all the time, now, once we get them planted?" he asked.

Tirzah smiled. "Mm, we'll probably get used to it after a while, but if we leave the alcove for a long time, say, for work, it should be fresh in our senses again when we walk in. I'm glad you like it," she said, pleased that her idea was going well already. "C'mon," she motioned him over. "Hope you're ready to get your hands dirty," she teased.

Mena blushed--it never took much (although usually it was Rho)--and came over to inspect the setup. "So....what do we do?" he asked.

Tirzah nodded. "So, we've got six herbs and six pots. We're gonna fill the pot like halfway with dirt." She demonstrated as she spoke. "Then pop the herb in, then cover the roots with more dirt." She held out the pot for him, now containing a mint plant. "Ta-da," she said with a flourish. "Go ahead and put it somewhere on the plant stand over there," she motioned him toward the plant stand.  

[Menelie]

"Doesn't seem too complicated," said Mena, nodding. He took the pot and put it on the stand. "This is going to be quite attractive when we're finished," he said. "How're we gonna keep the kids from eating them?" he asked.

Tirzah snorted. "Uh, mostly we're not. They're all culinary herbs, though, so it shouldn't be a problem if some leaves get eaten, right? Although I will draw the line at eating dirt," she added.

Mena shrugged. "Fair enough." He picked up a pot and set it in front of him. "So, uh, how's work been?" he asked, scooping soil into the pot.

"It's been fine," said Tirzah. "Right now it's like, late spring, so there's a ton to do. Lots of planting, lots of fussing with stuff that's overwintered up in the Branches, making sure that all looks good. Most like, produce-type stuff is flowering right now, which means it'll have fruit by midsummer. Oh! Yesterday I planted a whole bunch of squash and pumpkins," she said, waggling her eyebrows. She knew they were Mena's favorite.

"Already?" asked Mena, though his thoughts had already turned to butternut squash soup, roasted acorn squash, breaded baked zucchini, pumpkin pie, even a summer squash gratin....suddenly his attention snapped back to Tirzah, who was mid-explanation about the life cycle of squash plants. "Hm?" he said, raising his eyebrows.

Tirzah chuckled. "You were daydreaming about food, weren't you," she teased gently.  

[Menelie]

"Yeah," admitted Mena sheepishly. "In my defense....you know fall foods are my favorites."

"So tell me about them," said Tirzah, potting up the sage and covering it with soil.

Mena gave a little laugh and finished the oregano, which he offered to Tirzah. "I mean, you've had a lot of it," he started. "But like, could roast butternut squash with some of that sage," he said, indicating Tirzah's plant. "Little oil and sage, salt and pepper, and in the oven. Would make the whole alcove smell great." He peered at the other herbs. "Or like, I could make a sauce out of tomatoes with the oregano and basil, and serve it over that squash with the really stringy insides, that'd be good. Rosemary'd be good in anything honestly."

"Sounds amazing," said Tirzah appreciatively, taking both their plants to the plant stand.

The two finished their planting and cleaned up their mess, then washed up. Tirzah made a pot of tea, and they sat next to each other on the couch with steaming mugs.

After a few moments of silence--comfortable for Tirzah, anxious for Menahem--Mena spoke up: "You're not going to ask me about us, are you?" he asked hesitantly.

Tirzah's eyebrows went up. "Not unless you want me to." A pause. "Do you want me to?"  

[Menelie]

Menahem put his knuckles to his lips thoughtfully and looked away. "I don't know," he responded softly.

"Mm," said Tirzah with a nod. "Do you not know? Or do you know and you're afraid of what will happen?"

Mena chuckled self-deprecatingly and held up a finger, as if correcting her. "I'm always afraid of what will happen, thank you."

"What do you think will happen?" asked Tirzah. She was trying to be gentle and non-scary but Artemis he just kept giving her openings.

"I don't know," said Menahem, the pitch of his voice rising. "That's why I'm afraid?"

Tirzah nodded and attempted to back down. She sipped her tea. Give him space, she told herself. But she just couldn't. He'd feel so much better if he just talked about his feelings rather than holding them all inside! "If you did it anyway, even though you're afraid, then you'll know what will happen, and you won't have to fear the unknown anymore." She shrugged casually. "It might still be scary, but at least you'll know." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'll stop."  

[Menelie]

Dammit. As usual Tirzah had a point. Menahem breathed deeply, trying to calm his rising anxiety. "What if....you went first?" he asked, chancing a glance at her.

Tirzah practically beamed. "I think that's a great way to start." She turned on the couch so she was facing Mena, sitting cross-legged, with her mug tucked between her legs to stabilize it. She put her hands on her knees, then moved one to support her chin, leaning her elbow on her thigh. "You and Rho were the first other Faun I'd ever met. You were both so kind to me, from the very beginning. So helpful and gentle. You helped me settle in and make a life here, helped me learn how to be someone who lives in a community." She held out both hands, palm-up. "So, you see, my love for you, and my love for Rho, they're built on the same foundation."

There was so much she wanted to say. She tired to keep herself calm so she didn't begin rambling. "Our situation is unique. No one has a relationship like we do. So that means we get to make our own rules, and I think that's exciting. I love that we're in a trio. It's fun and interesting and twice as supportive as a couple. But, to me, I'm not only part of a trio, but I'm part of two couples. One with you, and one with Rho. And, Mena....my honest wish is that we could be more of a couple. We went through a whole pregnancy and childbirth journey together. I love that I got to share that with you. I want to do more together. I had tons of fun planting herbs with you today! I want to do more of that."

Menahem nodded along as Tirzah spoke, really trying to hear everything she was saying. He gripped his mug tightly and sipped from it every so often. She was right--she always was in matters of the heart. But his own feelings were so complicated he didn't even really know how to talk about them. "I wish I was as confident as you," said Mena with a little chuckle. Then he was silent for a few moments, thinking how to start.

"I...care deeply for you," he said, nodding a bit. He was staring straight ahead; he couldn't look her in the eye right now. "You're delightful to be around pretty much all the time. Even when we were pregnant and miserable." He laughed and shook his head. "I don't know how to explain it, Tirzah," he said, looking down at his mug. "I want to love you. But I can't get around the fact that I've only ever thought about men romantically. It's like...you're outside my field of vision, or something." He was blushing now as he spoke. "But then I think, well, I'm pretty sure Rho had never thought about men romantically until..." he laughed darkly. "Well, until you made him think about me. And here we are. And if he could do it, can't I do it? Especially for you?" He sighed.

"Honestly, I've been so afraid of having this exact conversation, and admitting this exact thing, that I haven't been able to enjoy your company. Isn't that awful?"

Oh, buddy. Tirzah set her mug on the floor and scooted the short distance to Mena, where she gently took his mug and set it next to hers. "Thank you for telling me," she said, slowly putting her hand on his and lacing their fingers together. She fell silent for a little while, thinking of what to say and do next. "I know....that you're not in the habit of talking about your feelings all the time like I am." Tirzah was, in fact, a fountain of information about her emotions. "So let me tell you what I've noticed about you and me. You said that you care deeply for me, and I believe that's true. I can see it in the way you....make sure that when you cook, there's a beautiful vegetarian dish for me, even though you and Rho aren't. In the way that you notice when I'm tired or overwhelmed with the kids, and jump in before I have to ask. In tons of other little ways, too. And....is that not love?"

Mena felt a sharp pang in his heart. Was that not love? Wasn't it? "Maybe you're right--you always are. But...when I'm around Rho my heart races. Even just thinking about him. And that's just....not how I feel about you. I'm truly sorry."

Was that was he was most concerned about? Tirzah squeezed his hand gently. "I have two things to say, and then two things for us to think about. Is that alright?"  

[Menelie]

Mena nodded.

"The first thing is that you don't need to be attracted to someone to love them. I would bet that Rho loved you for seasons without realizing it."

Mena blushed and looked away, but nodded. He remembered acutely how Rho reacted when Tirzah had suggested they find someone else so he could get over him. It made sense.

"The second thing," continued Tirzah, "is that I want to make sure you know that I'll never make you do anything you don't want to, or feel anything you don't want to feel. But I will push if I sense you want something but are too afraid to ask for it."

Mena felt like it was impossible for him to turn any more red.

"So, with that in mind, here's what I think we should do. I think we, having had this big scary conversation, should focus on ways we can enjoy each other's company, without guilt, or shame, or expectations. Let's find ways to be companions and friends. Yeah?"  

[Menelie]

Mena nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat and trying to relax. "Yeah. That sounds like a good place to start." He chanced looking at her and giving a little smile.

Tirzah smiled back. That's the spirit. Now, she was risking messing everything up with this next maneuver, but unfortunately for everyone, she didn't know how to stop. "The last thing," she said, standing, "is that I want to give you something. You don't have to do anything with it. I'd like it if you thought about it, but you don't have to. Okay?"

Mena's throat felt tight again. He trusted her...but he wished she'd talk plainly. His heart pounded.

"Close your eyes," instructed Tirzah.

Mena nodded and closed his eyes.

Tirzah leaned down and gave him a soft, lingering kiss. She put one hand on his cheek and the other on his shoulder, gently.

Menahem froze at first, stunned. But then he softened. And, to his own surprise, he found himself kissing back. How was this possible?

Tirzah had absolutely not expected him to kiss back, and she made a little noise and her heart leapt. Oh no, now she was feeling some feelings. Unlike some, Tirzah had been attracted to Mena from the start. She wanted to pull herself down into his lap and keep going, to see where this would take them, but instead she pulled away slowly.

Mena gasped softly. Was he disappointed she had pulled away? "Tirzah, I..."

"Just something to think about," said Tirzah, perhaps a bit more flirtatiously than she'd intended. "We can talk about it later, if you like."